938. - Chris & Jason

Speaker A: All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? Speaker B: We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

Speaker A: All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. How long gone? It's a gray Thursday here in Manhattan. Them Jeans, how's it going on your side, bro? Speaker B: Super sunny, super sunny. But I do leave tomorrow to visit 3 gray cities, so I gotta, I got a week week and a half or so of sun-free living. Speaker A: You have to fish a light jacket out of the garage. How, how dire is it? Speaker B: No, it's not dire at all.

No dire. It's more of just a bummer how, you know, it's 76 and sunny here, and then, you know, gonna go to Paris and London and New York for a little bit of rain, cold, and then rain again. Speaker A: Yeah, it's not going to be great. I mean, it's, it's going to be fine. Speaker B: It's fine. Speaker A: It's not bad. Speaker B: I'm going to be spending my whole time in a hotel, so it doesn't matter. Speaker A: Yeah, it's not going to be great. I mean, it's, it's going to be fine.

Speaker B: It's fine. Speaker A: It's not bad. Speaker B: I'm going to be spending my whole time in a hotel, so it doesn't matter. Speaker A: That's exactly what I want to do. So I totally understand where you're coming from. Speaker B: You never get sick of being in the hotel, do you? Speaker A: I mean, I like to go to restaurants and maybe check out a museum, a gallery or a store and catch up with some friends over a coffee or whatever. But I mean, yeah, for the— I mean, obviously, I mean, you know, not every— like last— I went to Minneapolis for the night yesterday.

It was the only night I could see the Wax Hatchie MJ Linderman tour. So I just went and I stayed at the hotel that was closest to the theater. And let's let this— I wouldn't want to— I didn't want to be there, you know what I mean? I didn't know that hotel. That hotel, you know, is meant for just sleeping. Let's say there's no hanging out, there's no spa. Speaker B: But nowadays that's a rarity for you, right? Speaker A: I mean, yeah. Speaker B: Where you're slumming. Speaker A: Yeah, I don't— Speaker B: I mean, I mean, I don't slum it.

And I know that you're a little more— Speaker A: see, you, you— I actually, if I'm— Speaker B: are you more of a slumlord or less of a slumlord? Speaker A: I'm more of a slumlord. I don't— if I'm alone, I don't really care. Speaker B: That's right. You do kind of slum, don't you? Little ratty ass. Speaker A: If Alex Alex is with me, it's different because we gotta, you know, gotta have a nice robe, we gotta pamper, gotta have a tub. But if I'm, if I'm going to see my friend's band, you know, if I'm going to Minneapolis tonight to see some friends and watch them play, I'm going to be in the hotel room just as— what am I going to do?

Why am I going to pay Four Seasons prices when I don't need it? It doesn't— it just doesn't— it's actually impractical. Speaker B: I get it, I get it. Why stick a hand up a cow's ass when you can get the steak for free, right, Chris? Speaker B: I get it, I get it. Why stick a hand up a cow's ass when you can get the steak for free, right, Chris? Speaker A: But that's what I always say. Yeah, exactly. Speaker B: Speaking of the It's from Tommy Boy. I didn't get it just right.

Um, the tub is at the— is the tub— because right now in my relationship, the tub is a nice perk, but it's not a must-have. At some point I think it will hit that. Is— are you at must-have a tub? Like, does it— is dinner ruined if the hotel doesn't have a tub? Speaker A: Uh, no, no, no, no, no, it's not, it's not, it's not that bad. But there's a— I mean, there's a thing on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City where a character named Meredith, her husband makes sure that she always has a bathtub in the hotel rooms, and several women know this reference.

So it's, it's like a funny— but I mean, I, I like about— Speaker B: so this fucking cuck ruined it for all of us, huh? Speaker A: Yes, he did. Exactly. Another— exactly what fucking happened. But I, I find it to be— I like the— I don't use bathtubs very often, but I like to have them because it means the bathroom has to be bigger. But, you know, strictly, I just like it for, for the— so because I'm a size queen, you know what I mean? I want the bathroom to be larger.

Speaker B: Well, it's— I mean, it's probably going to be bigger, so there's that. I use it as the, uh, my, my spent towel catch-all. Of course. Well, that's the best— that's the best use for it, because a lot of bathrooms, they don't have a designated towel space. They just say like put it on the floor or whatever, but then you got a bunch of towels on the floor. It doesn't look tidy. Speaker A: It's— I mean, it's real tough hanging them from the shower door. Speaker B: These are the tough issues we deal with.

Speaker A: The amount of Nike Dry-Fit clothing I've washed in a bathtub and let dry hanging over the one side. Speaker A: It's— I mean, it's real tough hanging them from the shower door. Speaker B: These are the tough issues we deal with. Speaker A: The amount of Nike Dry-Fit clothing I've washed in a bathtub and let dry hanging over the one side. Speaker B: Have you thought about traveling with one of those travel board short swim trunk spinners? You know what I'm talking about? Speaker A: I do know. I mean, I know them more as something that would be in a Ritz-Carlton gym after the— Speaker B: Of course.

Of course. I'm talking about the one that free soloers and unhoused folks might be using. Speaker A: I'm not aware of that, but I'm interested. Speaker B: I think the mechanics of it are probably quite in line, shares a lot of DNA with a common salad spinner. I believe that's sort of what you do. It's not a perfect— Speaker A: it's the same shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the same, it's the same shit. Yeah, just spin something around, it's got some holes in it, so you get that moisture out. Speaker B: Do I got holes in it?

All right, I'll take it. Yeah, I've been, I've been dreaming about that. I've been dreaming about spinning, and I've been dreaming about, um, those inflatable— it replaces the iron for your shirt. You put your shirt on top. Speaker A: Oh yeah, this shit's hard. Speaker B: Yeah, those are cool. I want one of them because like I get, you know, I get these nice vintage sweaters on eBay and I make sure to get it in like extra large tall, you know, max it out as, you know, get the Ford F-450 whatever dually, the biggest one you can get.

And you never know if somebody has, you know, washed, how they've cared for it. So I'm looking up things online. You like soak it in the tub with some conditioner for like 3 days and you— Speaker A: Yeah, it's a lot. Speaker B: You know, lay it out. It sounds like so much. And I want to just get that bitch wet, put, put a little Bumble and Bumble on there, drop it on the Muji iron, hit a button, and then just boom, it's, it's Shaq size again, ready for me. Speaker A: Those things are really cool.

And I, I don't— I'm sure they're cheap. Speaker B: I'm sure you can grab like a Muji one for under $200. Speaker A: It feels like a QVC product in many ways to me, but yeah, but what does it mean? Speaker B: As soon as Dyson comes out with one that's like $400 and you could travel with it. Speaker A: Yeah. If it doesn't, if it doesn't take up, if it doesn't take up too much room, I think it's a reasonable purchase. Speaker B: That's why it's going to be travel.

Speaker A: I went to the chiropractor at the airport in Minneapolis, my favorite thing. I re-upped. Speaker B: Is that the same place that we went to? Yeah, where I captured footage. You get the same specialist? Speaker A: It was a different specialist. I liked his bedside manner more, but he fucked me up. Like, so the shows— these shows are all in theaters, and so Peyton, Katie's tour manager, was like, I got you a ticket for a seat too, just in case you want to like sit with everybody else. And I was like, actually, yeah, that sounds great, bro.

Look, once that thing was touching hour 15, Big Daddy was dozing off a little bit. I had to fucking, you know what I mean? It was— I think my, my brain fog had lifted and it didn't bring me energy. It brought me sleepy. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: And so I had to, I had to really— I powered through. It was no big deal, but I was— I really felt the effects, much like last time when I was brain dead. Speaker B: Okay. So you were glad. I mean, I've been, I've been to a lot of shows where I was very grateful for a seat, you know, a little cigarros at the bowl or something.

You got your— Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: You got your trout roe and your fucking whatever spread out over there. You want to— Speaker B: Okay. So you were glad. I mean, I've been, I've been to a lot of shows where I was very grateful for a seat, you know, a little cigarros at the bowl or something. You got your— Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: You got your trout roe and your fucking whatever spread out over there. You want to— Speaker A: I unfortunately didn't bring any of my, my cheeses this time, but it was, you know, I was thinking about— Speaker B: you didn't have a chance to— I mean, you, you love that monger in St.

Paul. Okay, so this— the, uh, the wax I had— Speaker A: the monger? Speaker B: Yeah, who does your monger program at the Four Seasons? So you didn't say it. I mean, the Four Seasons in, in Minneapolis, bro, that's our, that's our HQ. How could you not? Speaker A: Anyway, it honestly felt wrong without you there, if I'm keeping it a buck. You know, if I'm keeping— Speaker B: you won me back. Here we are. Speaker A: If I'm keeping it a buck, it would feel wrong. Speaker B: I hate how you always know the exact thing to say at the worst moment.

Fucking type shit ass motherfucker. Okay, so the Withchild, Waxahachie, and MJ Linderman show, less of a stage divy, high energy, and it was a little more some, uh, tuned-down Americana, maybe seated acoustic. Speaker A: They're on stage together the whole time, and then Cole's playing keyboard, Colin's playing like pedal steel, dobro guitar, banjo. They're all switching up. Speaker B: Very similar to a Sleaford Mods. Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: So far, exactly. Speaker A: But there's— Speaker B: who's the laptop guy? Speaker A: There's no drummer. So it's like they just play constantly.

They play like, you know, they play a lot of songs because everybody's seated, seated. So there's no, there's no time, you know, everybody's sitting, they're sitting, we're sitting, everybody's happy. It's a, you know, but it did, it did. I, I, I— Speaker B: Very similar to a Sleaford Mods. Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: So far, exactly. Speaker A: But there's— Speaker B: who's the laptop guy? Speaker A: There's no drummer. So it's like they just play constantly. They play like, you know, they play a lot of songs because everybody's seated, seated.

So there's no, there's no time, you know, everybody's sitting, they're sitting, we're sitting, everybody's happy. It's a, you know, but it did, it did. I, I, I— Speaker B: maybe next year we'll lay. Speaker A: I got a little too comfortable, you know what I mean? I got a little too comfortable. Speaker B: Did you bring your, uh, your little Halo to sit on? Speaker A: No, I didn't. Speaker B: Did you bring that? You leave that at home? Speaker A: I thought you were talking about 2 Chainz's son who he podcasts with for a second.

I'm like, I don't know him like that, but I would love to hang with him. Speaker B: My favorite podcast. I know he's a Waxahachie fan, but I didn't even consider— Speaker A: that's my new favorite part. That's some of the best clips out. Speaker B: So 2 Chainz has a podcast with his son, and his son's name is Halo, named after the Beyoncé song or the video game? Speaker A: I'm gonna say It could be really either one. We got to track, we got to track timeline. Otherwise there's no way to be sure.

Speaker B: I only, I only thought of that reference because I just recently saw a video because I was, I was watching the Hulk Hogan documentary and the algorithm was feeding me like funny videos involving wrestling or boxing or UFC, whatever. And somebody was like the one time this guy, he wanted to have the Halo 3 soundtrack play as his walkout music. and he's like some tough boxer or whatever, and they thought it was Beyoncé, Halo. So he's coming down the fucking ring, he's all fucking greased up and shit, and it's just— and he's looking at— he's like looking around like, no, that's really cool, that's really cool.

Speaker A: But Halo, if you haven't seen the clips, his son is very funny. He's like 10 and he just kind of like makes fun of 2 Chainz, and 2 Chainz likes it, and it's really good. It's, it's, it's as far as like elder hip-hop podcasting. It's my favorite. Like, I like Cam and Mase, but I don't know enough about sports to care about that, really. You know what I mean? This is a little more— this is more friendly for everyone. Speaker B: It seems like it touches on like the good, clean fun of like doing a podcast with a 10-year-old, but with, you know, touching on some adult themes.

Speaker A: It has. Yeah. Yeah. He's talking about strip clubs and stuff like that with the 10-year-old, you know. Speaker B: So, so instead of saying, how the fuck you know about Magic City on Mondays. He says, how in the heck do you know about Magic City? Speaker A: And your mama wouldn't like that. Now your mama wouldn't like that if she knew. Speaker B: Now where in the world did you learn about Dracos, young man? Speaker A: I swear to God, I'm not going to let you go hoop this afternoon if you bring up Dracos one more time.

Do you understand me? Speaker B: That sounds great. Speaker A: Podcast. Speaker B: That's fun. So what happens to a child when he gets a podcast that's bigger than ours at the age of 10? How does that change? A 10-year-old's trajectory in 2026? Speaker A: I wonder. I mean, I think it's tough when your dad's already famous. Like, 2 Chainz is strangely not a household name— that's being a little generous— but 2 Chainz is like very well known as like a, almost as like a figure, you know. He like looks a certain, you know, I don't know, people know him.

Speaker B: He's a— we'll call him B+ list. Speaker A: So I feel like, I feel like that's your— especially if you live in Atlanta and that's your dad, you're already royalty. So it's like, I think it— I think maybe he really just wants to be a hooper. Like most kids that age, they're like, my dad sucks. Like, whatever, we live in a nice house, but like, you know, I just want to ball. And I think that's what he's focused on mostly from what I, from what I can tell. Speaker B: He's a— we'll call him B+ list.

Speaker A: So I feel like, I feel like that's your— especially if you live in Atlanta and that's your dad, you're already royalty. So it's like, I think it— I think maybe he really just wants to be a hooper. Like most kids that age, they're like, my dad sucks. Like, whatever, we live in a nice house, but like, you know, I just want to ball. And I think that's what he's focused on mostly from what I, from what I can tell. Speaker B: And 2 Chainz is like, you're, you ungrateful little piece of shit.

I'm going to give you all my Smoothie King franchises. And you're like, Dad, I think Smoothie King is lame. Why don't you own Chrome Hearts franchises? Speaker A: Exactly. I think that is what is going on. I think that is probably— Halo is also very good looking. So he's gonna have a— he's gonna have a— his life is looking up much better than ours, much like they're— much like their podcast numbers. Speaker B: Um, all right, okay, clock it. Halo, halo, halo, halo. Speaker A: All right, we have a guest today.

Uh, Jason Williamson is one half of Sleaford Mods, um, a band that you guys are probably familiar. He's also an actor. He's been in a few movies. Um, he was in Peaky Blinders, a show that I feel like a lot of people I know watch, especially if they had the That haircut. You remember the haircut? Speaker B: Yeah, you know, 50% of the people I know, yeah, love that show, and other 50% have never seen a single episode. It's very interesting. Speaker A: I thought you were going to say— I thought you were going to say 50% of the people had that haircut.

I was like, I'm going to say more. Speaker B: Definitely my side. On my— on this side. Speaker A: On this side. On my— the side's high and tight. Um, all right, let's, uh, let's give Jason a call and, uh, and get into it if we can understand his accent. Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water. Speaker B: Definitely my side. On my— on this side.

Speaker A: On this side. On my— the side's high and tight. Um, all right, let's, uh, let's give Jason a call and, uh, and get into it if we can understand his accent. Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water. Speaker B: He knows how to charge my copay. Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: That's about it. Speaker A: As if I could drink more water, doctor.

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Thanks. Speaker A: This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. Speaker B: A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do?

Speaker A: 3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points, that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. Speaker B: The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Speaker A: Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch on YouTube. It's 3 times a week.

And who couldn't use more news, you know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, well, a classic How Long Gone mid-pod cancellation, but that only means we can bring you more of what you want, me and Jason talking about, it looks like Jason, you got invited to a pool party in OC. Do you wanna tell me? Do you wanna tell me? 'Cause I've never been to a pool party in OC. So if you can tell me, cuz you sent me the flyer and it says a lot obviously.

Yeah. And visual, visually it's quite a lot. But if you, if you could just read some of it out loud, I think that'd be a good exercise for us as a team. Speaker B: Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. I mean, this is different. These could be, this party could be a fake AI-generated event. We don't know for sure. But the theme of this is Latinas versus Snow Bunnies pool party. And I don't know exactly how they are competing. If they are just sort of in a, you know, whoever is the most baddest baddie.

I don't know if they're going to be doing pool-related fights. Speaker A: So you're saying, so Latinas versus Snow Bunnies Pool Party, why do you think that would be— what about this makes you think it could be AI-created, I guess, is my question. Because to me, this looks like a— this looks like something you might have done in InDesign back in the day. Speaker B: Okay, well, if you dig into the Instagram account, You'll see that some of the other events. Okay. There's one of them. The next one is homebodies versus groupies.

It's two women. They, all the homebodies wear white and then all the groupies wear black. And then the homebodies, there's a little sort of a comic book text bubble and they're the homebody. The homebodies don't, for, to be clear, they are baddies, of course, but they're saying, I J S. Wanna go home. So I just wanna go home. And then the groupies are saying we outside. So I don't know. It seems like the groupies are going to take this one. Speaker A: Hold on. I'm seeing you're right. The EBT accepted party is.

Speaker B: Yeah, there is an, uh, the EB 714 funks, which I guess is short for functions. Dude, there's, and then, uh, EBT accepted party. Special guest, Quandale Dingle. Speaker A: Hold on. I'm seeing you're right. The EBT accepted party is. Speaker B: Yeah, there is an, uh, the EB 714 funks, which I guess is short for functions. Dude, there's, and then, uh, EBT accepted party. Special guest, Quandale Dingle. Speaker A: The white guy that says, I'll do anything for $20. This is crazy. This is actually a really cool page.

Is this— I guess this is— Speaker B: yeah, there's a Cinco de Mayo, um, there's a Diddy versus Charlie Kirk, no ice allowed Cinco de Mayo party. No ice is allowed at all. Speaker A: Let's, let's give props to this guy. This is, this is OC_Present on Instagram. They are verified, which I would love to talk to somebody on Instagram about how that, how that went down. Um, but That's— this is something that, that you— it's cool to see where you come from, you know what I mean? Like, you know, we, we see these movies about surfing and skating and the idyllic Orange County lifestyle and how beautiful it is and how everyone's got guns and stuff, but this to me feels like the most realistic representation of your hometown and where you're from.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, we— Speaker A: I'm blown away personally. Speaker B: We have some of the finest Latinas and snow bunnies in in the world. Speaker A: I mean, probably literally. Speaker B: And we don't take that lightly. Speaker A: That should be promoted more heavily, I would say, if anything else. Speaker B: I know. Speaker A: Yeah, this is great. This is good stuff. I was, I was saying, I was, I was watching these, man. Yeah, there's, there's a video going around of, of Ronnie from, um, from Jersey Shore looking like Jersey Shore absolute shit, nodding out on TV.

It's tough to watch those. That, that's one of the worst aging groups of people to ever be on television. I think are those that, that particular squadron. Speaker A: I mean, probably literally. Speaker B: And we don't take that lightly. Speaker A: That should be promoted more heavily, I would say, if anything else. Speaker B: I know. Speaker A: Yeah, this is great. This is good stuff. I was, I was saying, I was, I was watching these, man. Yeah, there's, there's a video going around of, of Ronnie from, um, from Jersey Shore looking like Jersey Shore absolute shit, nodding out on TV.

It's tough to watch those. That, that's one of the worst aging groups of people to ever be on television. I think are those that, that particular squadron. Speaker B: When I, when I look at, when I look at them, we are kind of like the same age as them, right? Speaker A: I think more or less, maybe a couple, they're a couple years older is what I would guess. Speaker B: Yeah. And they all have, you know, 8 kids each and live in like a really funny looking house, but they all, they, they look, you know, physically different.

Speaker A: Yeah. Physically different. Speaker B: I agree. Speaker A: Physically. It's a, it's a physical difference. And I, I don't know. Speaker B: They've lived more life than we have. Speaker A: Well, I think that being famous for being drunk, um, really encourages you to be more drunk, which does take a toll on the body eventually, you know what I mean? It's going to catch up with you at some point. Speaker B: As an indie sleaze DJ, I can relate to that, Chris. Speaker A: Dude, I know you can, bro.

You're my— I know, look, you're the indie sleaze king. Speaker B: No, it was in— it was encouraged. Speaker A: No one's going to take that away from you. Free Svedka before 11. So that's, that's something. I know you got that tatted on you somewhere. Did you see this, um, this Erika Kirk outfit where she looks like she's in the all black with the hat that says Freedom on it? Speaker A: No one's going to take that away from you. Free Svedka before 11. So that's, that's something. I know you got that tatted on you somewhere.

Did you see this, um, this Erika Kirk outfit where she looks like she's in the all black with the hat that says Freedom on it? Speaker B: Yeah, the, um, the Rhythm Nation trade. Speaker A: We are a part of a rhythm nation. Speaker B: What did the, um, what did her hat say? It looked like an Equinox hat, but it said like, it said Freedom, I think. Speaker A: Black on black. Speaker B: It's her whole look is, is giving like, that's like something George Michael would wear to like, yeah, yeah, yeah, LA Fitness.

Speaker A: It's It's January 6th security guard is kind of the vibe because it also, you don't know, you don't know what's under, you know, when you're wearing the all-black kind of like sweatsuit, it's— but no, you know, with her, you know, it's not Lululemon, you know, you know, it's not tight, it's like pretty— Speaker B: it's not even, um, Under Armour, it's something even more sinister. Speaker A: But do you think— because I think maybe she could be packing under there, is what I'm thinking. Speaker B: Like, do you think she, she has, uh, she's got something tucked into these?

Speaker A: Not a dick, not a dick, I mean a gun. Speaker B: No, I mean, yeah, we're talking about the Drake. Okay. Speaker A: I think she could have, I think she could have something around the waist. Not, and not like a traveler's wallet that an old person uses when they go to Italy. I'm talking about a, I'm talking about something that will make, they'll talk. Speaker B: You're not talking about the outlet Dior over the shoulder bag? Speaker A: No, she got something that she's going to let it talk if you mouth off to her.

You know what I'm saying? Speaker B: Not the Canal Street Miu Miu. Speaker A: No, no, that's real. Speaker B: Okay. So I did see that. What, what I want to know why she was, she, she should have been wearing the Janet Jackson fit. The day after her husband was murdered live on television, that feels like a fit that's giving in mourning. Speaker B: You're not talking about the outlet Dior over the shoulder bag? Speaker A: No, she got something that she's going to let it talk if you mouth off to her.

You know what I'm saying? Speaker B: Not the Canal Street Miu Miu. Speaker A: No, no, that's real. Speaker B: Okay. So I did see that. What, what I want to know why she was, she, she should have been wearing the Janet Jackson fit. The day after her husband was murdered live on television, that feels like a fit that's giving in mourning. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: And instead, when, you know, a week after her husband was murdered, she's wearing, you know, like Miss Thailand ball gowns. Speaker A: She was kissing JD on camera, bro.

She had no respect for a dead man. Speaker B: No respect. So why, why did they switch that? Why wasn't she— why was— why was— why is she wearing this right now of all times? Speaker A: This is a classic. Pivot to tactile dressing, you know what I mean? Like, this is, this is like, oh, y'all thought you could make fun of me? Well, now I'm gonna show you I'm about my business. And everybody in here could get it. Like, I think that's— I think she's trying to put off— because she can't wear fatigues because that's like a little much, you know what I'm saying?

That's like, that's a little much. But when she hops out the— that— when she hops out of the Escalade with the all black on and the Freedom hat with a full beat, like, and you see a little bulge You know what I'm saying? You see a little something peeking out of the waistband, you know that she, you know that she means business. Anything else would feel performative. This feels, this feels actually like the, the way she should— I would rather see her wear this than a fucking Temu gown or full, full like basic training fatigues.

This is the nice middle ground for her. Speaker B: So we got, we got, we got Lil Mama looking like Nas in '98, looking like Soulja Slim. Speaker A: It's very Soulja Slim, actually. Speaker B: Yeah, everyone was like, why, why the fuck This bitch look like dressed like Chuck D from Public Enemy, you know? Speaker A: Hey, she's like Chuck stood on business and she's standing on business too. I see the similarities. Speaker B: It almost feels as if she's trying to, to play down her look. She's trying to cover her body like, like a burqa or something like that, you know what I mean?

It only looks like a little sliver of her, of her skin. Speaker A: Well, she's so hot. She's so hot. She's so hot that it's like such a— it's a, it's a big distraction, actually, that like when she's talking about how our country is crumbling, you know, because of the libs, when the, when the titties are out and the makeup is done, how can you— Jason, I know you can't focus. I know, I know the message is lost on you. So let's cover up, let's be demure, and let's get that message across and, and be serious.

It's time to be serious. It's time to— it's time. This country's in peril. It's time to be serious is what I'm getting from this. Speaker B: You know, the blowjob got teeth all in it. Speaker A: That's— yeah, yeah, I do, I, I do think so. We could ask JD, he's coming on. We'll get him on. We'll get him on soon. Speaker B: He can't get hard from a woman. Speaker A: He's a chatty guy, though. He's a chatty guy. Speaker B: Do you want to— do you want to talk about clipping?

I mean, the clip world? Speaker A: Sure. Yeah, I would like to do more. I was with— look, I'm saying, bro, all that I read— did you— Chad wrote an article for The Guardian where he had a bunch of— he did a bunch of research and kind of really did the work for this, for the clipping stuff. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: Specifically as it relates to music, you know, I mean, more as it relates to music and, you know, more geese than clavicular. Yeah, but it's like there's a lot of— it's okay, Lou.

It's like a lot of, you know, it's McGee. It's like it's all this stuff. And, and OK Lou's a good example to me because I, I actually don't know what that sounds like, and I feel like no one does. Whereas like— Speaker A: Sure. Yeah, I would like to do more. I was with— look, I'm saying, bro, all that I read— did you— Chad wrote an article for The Guardian where he had a bunch of— he did a bunch of research and kind of really did the work for this, for the clipping stuff.

Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: Specifically as it relates to music, you know, I mean, more as it relates to music and, you know, more geese than clavicular. Yeah, but it's like there's a lot of— it's okay, Lou. It's like a lot of, you know, it's McGee. It's like it's all this stuff. And, and OK Lou's a good example to me because I, I actually don't know what that sounds like, and I feel like no one does. Whereas like— Speaker B: no, McGee. But I know what you mean. I mean, it's much smaller than, than Geese, but I, I like OK Lou.

Speaker A: You would? Speaker B: I would. Speaker A: You would? Speaker B: The performative player in me be listening. Speaker A: Sure, no shame in that. Speaker B: You got to appeal to the Elfin House. Speaker A: I don't know, don't sleep on them. Speaker B: It's a big delegate for me. Speaker A: Who's the number one elfin hoe? Grimes? Speaker B: I mean, I guess Björk is sort of mother of elves. Sure. But I mean more— Speaker A: I mean modern day Björk's the blueprint. Björk's the Jay-Z. Björk's the Africa Bambaataa.

Speaker B: Talk about doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Speaker C: Oh God. Speaker B: Yeah. I mean like Twigs has a pretty big stronghold on the fairy hoes. Fairy spelled A-I-E of course. Speaker A: Of course. Yeah. Fair-A-I-E. I feel like it has to be music that is sort of electronic in nature because, you know, I think that like someone like Fiona Apple could maybe fall into this category, but because— Speaker B: yeah, Tori Amos, more of an unplugged fairy. Speaker A: Of course. Yeah. Fair-A-I-E. I feel like it has to be music that is sort of electronic in nature because, you know, I think that like someone like Fiona Apple could maybe fall into this category, but because— Speaker B: yeah, Tori Amos, more of an unplugged fairy.

Speaker A: Yeah, I think when it goes unplugged it becomes something else. I think when you're banging at the, at the piano it's different than when you're banging on the synth a little bit, you know what I mean? Just, just vibe, just vibe-wise I'm saying. But that's okay. Speaker B: Yeah, when you're, when you're banging on the like teenage engineer theremin that you built out of Legos Oh, this, this is a custom piece actually. You could distill it down to like fairy musicians who use traditional music versus non-binary instruments. Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I think there are, there are non-binary instruments.

I think that, I think the piano is feminine, the guitar is masculine, and everything in between is up for grabs. Speaker B: And a lot of people think the harp is bi, but it is not. Speaker A: Oh no, the harp is the— no, the harp is gay actually. The harp is, the harp is, is, is, is somehow gay. Speaker B: And if it's a gay, then lock me up. Wait, I mean Yes. Speaker A: Put me in jail. I listen to Joanna Newsom 24 hours a day. So I think clipping is another instance of a kind of a who cares?

Like, I don't think that that is like, I guess I don't understand why we get so upset that people are good at playing the game that we've all agreed to participate in. That's what I am always shocked, like the outrage by this of like, What do you, what I guess, what do you expect? I guess like, what do we, what are you supposed to do when, when there's this much noise and there's this short of an attention span? Speaker B: I agree with all of that. I think what people are trying to figure out now is the, is the clip turning into the content versus the clip being the thing advertising or getting you to go watch, you know, the, the TV show or the movie or the podcast or like, I think it's been that way.

Well, it, it has, but But people, many people are saying that it is fully that way. But then the issue is like, if we make our money off of our podcast, but everyone just watches the clips only, then how is anybody making any money? If no, if the, the clips aren't translating into podcast views and you don't have ads on your clips, then you're just spending a lot of money every month and getting a lot of views every month. But Yeah, I mean, look, that's translating into— Speaker A: I mean, that's fair.

I just, I don't know, I, I just feel like this is one of those things. I mean, I think it obviously with music it's different because it's like you, you know, you're more drawn to listen. I don't know, if you, if you see something cool, you're gonna go listen to it because there's no other way to hear a full song, you know what I mean? There's no like— no 30-second clip of a song is all you want. If you like it, you want to hear the whole song. Whereas with podcasting or whatever video content, let's say like the 30-second joke you get on Reels might be all you want.

That might not— like you're saying, that might not push you to go do the whole thing, whereas music is different. Speaker B: Yeah, I think I'm talking about every— everything but music. Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I agree. I mean, I don't know what— look, movie trailers existed forever. I've never wanted to see a movie after seeing the trailer. Trailer did everything I needed. Really, dude? I don't— yeah, I don't like a trailer. Speaker B: Yeah, I think I'm talking about every— everything but music. Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I agree.

I mean, I don't know what— look, movie trailers existed forever. I've never wanted to see a movie after seeing the trailer. Trailer did everything I needed. Really, dude? I don't— yeah, I don't like a trailer. Speaker B: Okay, so you're not new to this. You're true to this. Speaker A: You— Speaker B: your body is conditioned for the clip economy. Speaker A: Well, I'm saying to you, I'm saying to you, a trailer is always— it always is a little bit of a lie, and often only the best stuff. Do you know what I mean?

That's like what it is. And it's like, obviously the idea is to get you to spend $30, you know, to go sit in a cold room and watch it with people you don't know. And that has worked until whatever, 5, 10 years ago. Um, I think maybe the clips get you so familiar with someone and you like what they have to say that eventually you're gonna listen to something ambiently because you're doing that anyway, if that makes sense. Yeah, like if you see enough— if you see enough Call Her Daddy and you like it, you think it's whatever, it appeals to you, the next time you're looking to put on something for 3 hours while you clean your house, you'll reach for your Call Her Daddy.

Is— is the— I mean, that, that makes sense to me. Speaker B: You'll reach for your Daddy, you'll, you'll get a handful of those conversions. Well, I mean, it's, it's interesting to see if, if like the the financial model will be reversed and then, you know, the hour-long podcast or the hour-long comedy special or whatever it is that you're getting the clips from, if that's just like a vanity project and then we just figure out how to put ads onto clips. Speaker A: I mean, I think for a lot of people though, there are ads on clips, like not, not like full-on ad reads, you know what I mean?

But I'm saying like when you see a Theo Von clip, there's a Celsius can in the clip. You know what I mean? Or if you see, you know, it's like those guys have— the real heads have set up their studio and their whole game to have ads in it everywhere you look. Like, you can't watch— you can't watch a clip, a second of the YouTube, a second of the TikTok without seeing an ad of some kind. I mean, not overt, like you said, it's not like an ad read for BetterHelp, but it's like, it's there.

I just don't like— I just don't care. Like, I, I don't know. Like, I'm happy that people are able to make money doing what they like. And if, if that means, you know, if like If McGee's label spent $50,000 to promote his music in ways that you think are nefarious, then like, okay, good, don't listen to it. Like the clipification of it doesn't make something better or worse is what I, is my kind of my point. Like if, if the mu— if the music is good, if the podcast is good, if the movie is good, then people will be drawn to see it.

If it's not good, I, I think there's only so far a clip is gonna take you. Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: Like I don't, you like, like you're saying, not even just monetarily, but I even mean like, culturally. I just don't know. I just think they're— I mean, once every like advertisement was made to look like a podcast, like, I feel like that's already chilled out. Like, there was like— I would say like a year ago, 6 months ago, that's what everybody was doing, and now you don't see that anymore in the same way.

Speaker B: I don't think it burned out a little too hot. What do you, um— I was listening, there was a, um, it was a podcast with a guy who does— he's like Scott Galloway's co-host on his other podcast. And he was, he was talking about for people who are like resistant or just like, I don't, I don't do that stuff. Like I just do my, my podcast, I do my show, I do my comedy and I don't want to play the clip game. He's saying, or he's, he's bullish on the fact that that is going to be the only game.

And if like, if everything is clips, then it's just going to be Nick Fuentes and Clavicular and Drewski and whatever. Like, yeah, if you don't get in there and put your hand in and and get dirty with everyone else, you're, you're just gonna be left behind, period. Speaker B: I don't think it burned out a little too hot. What do you, um— I was listening, there was a, um, it was a podcast with a guy who does— he's like Scott Galloway's co-host on his other podcast. And he was, he was talking about for people who are like resistant or just like, I don't, I don't do that stuff.

Like I just do my, my podcast, I do my show, I do my comedy and I don't want to play the clip game. He's saying, or he's, he's bullish on the fact that that is going to be the only game. And if like, if everything is clips, then it's just going to be Nick Fuentes and Clavicular and Drewski and whatever. Like, yeah, if you don't get in there and put your hand in and and get dirty with everyone else, you're, you're just gonna be left behind, period. Speaker A: Yeah. But this is what people say about everything.

That's what they said about crypto. This is what they said about NFTs. This is what they say about, you know, this is what the— there's always people that are telling you if you don't do something, you're going to die and rot while everyone passes you by and gets filthy rich and moves to Miami and has a girlfriend with fake tits. Like that is literally what the— this is, and it's just sort of like, dude, I don't think it's really that serious. I mean, Like, sure, but like, do you remember the— there was— I mean, you know, there was the pivot to video thing and whatever, you know, like 10 years ago, 15 years ago when every major media company pivoted to video and it didn't really work.

Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: You know, it's like, I don't know. I think you have to do whatever feels right for you and like, that's going to work for— I don't know. I just think that like this whole mentality of like, I have to put, put all my chips in every time there's a new thing or I'm going to be left behind. Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: You know, it's like, I don't know. I think you have to do whatever feels right for you and like, that's going to work for— I don't know.

I just think that like this whole mentality of like, I have to put, put all my chips in every time there's a new thing or I'm going to be left behind. Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: Doesn't feel super healthy or normal or even like possible to keep up with. Speaker B: It's alarmist. Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's what I'm saying. Speaker B: I don't wanna be alarmed, but it be, but also everyone has that fear in the back of their mind because for every 100 of tho— of those, you know, Ethereum bubbles, there's like, I'm not gonna get a car.

I'm, I'm pretty sure that horse and carriage is gonna be the one, you know, or like old technologies that have been, you know, decimated by, by It's just some things inevitably die and are replaced by something else. And what it might be interesting if, if clips are the only content that could turn an actual long-form podcast or a comedy special or whatever into something that has more value than it does now. Like if we're all just giving away these pods for free, suddenly that could be like an interesting coveted thing and people would buy longer-form content.

You know, like they're buying, you know, CDs at, at the, at Best Buy for $20. Speaker A: This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month. And this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own.

But the truth is no one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference. Speaker B: I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most, that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes.

So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp. Choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over 6 million people globally are using it. And, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy.

Sign up and get 10% off at com/howlong. That is better. com/howlong. Speaker D: Your summer starts now with Memorial Day deals at The Home Depot. It's time to fire up summer cookouts with the Nexgrill 4-burner gas grill on special buy for only $199. And entertain all season with the Hampton Bay West Grove 7-piece outdoor dining set for only $499. This Memorial Day Get low prices guaranteed at The Home Depot while supplies last. Pricing valid May 14th through May 27th. US only. Exclusions apply. See com/pricematch for details. Speaker B: That's a pipe dream, but you know, it'd be interesting.

Speaker B: That's a pipe dream, but you know, it'd be interesting. Speaker A: Yeah, but it is kind of what happens. It kind of— it is kind of what happens to everything. But I don't know if like— yeah, I, I don't— I just think that, that the like being upset about this, it's like we got, we got Hasan Piker reading a Lenin book wearing a fucking Cartier bracelet and we're worried about— we're— and we're worried about fucking clipping, you know what I mean? It's just sort of like, what— I just don't like— also, I don't know, if I see a clip I like, I just like the clip.

I don't, I don't, I don't know. I just— do you think it's that serious? I guess from a business standpoint, sure, but as a, as a purely like entertainment, like consumer standpoint, like what's the downside? You know what I mean? Like there's no downside for the consumer or the viewer or whatever. Speaker B: Well, I mean, I guess there's no downside in terms of like, you know, it is an amazing quick hit of dopamine that never stops, and it, it's hard to want to replace it. So, you know, it has a lot of similarities to like a Diet Coke or something like that where, you know, for now it sounds like a miracle drug and we don't need anything else.

But sure, sure, sure, sure. 10 years from now, we don't know what that will do to the world and just human beings in general. If our attention span really is that destroyed, we will, we will reach, you know, brain in a jar in a in a wheelchair, idiocracy lifestyle, kind of Black Mirror shit. Speaker A: I'm sprinting there already, so try to, try to stop me. I mean, no, I thought about this actually because yesterday when I was on my flight to Minneapolis was delayed for 3 hours, it was like I'd like gotten there early so I could write my GQ column and get that done before I got on the plane.

And like, you know, I had answered my email and I was like, all right, I've kind of done the immediate things I need to do and now I'm going to sit here and there's plenty of stuff I should be doing. Speaker A: I'm sprinting there already, so try to, try to stop me. I mean, no, I thought about this actually because yesterday when I was on my flight to Minneapolis was delayed for 3 hours, it was like I'd like gotten there early so I could write my GQ column and get that done before I got on the plane.

And like, you know, I had answered my email and I was like, all right, I've kind of done the immediate things I need to do and now I'm going to sit here and there's plenty of stuff I should be doing. Speaker B: But this diva's gonna clip. Speaker A: But I know the reels are there, I know the clips are— I know it's time to see fucking, you know, Coco Schiffer advertising for the new Goop kitchen, you know what I'm saying? Like, I know that I need this and I'm just like— and but in those situations, it's like, it really is kind of wild how like you can't— it's literally a bag of chips, like you cannot have just one.

Yeah, there's no one on earth. Speaker B: Yeah, I guess for, for your personality where you for those of us, and we all, if you're not, if you don't know somebody in your life who can't just have one, then you are that person. How does that feel for you? Does it trigger any like potato chip memories or whatever? Because I'm able to sort of put it down, but I obviously get lost in the sauce sometimes. A good bag of chips is a good bag of chips, and a movie theater popcorn, I ain't stopping, but I can pull back.

But for you where you open that bag of Pirate's Booty. Speaker A: Oh dude, not the Pirate's Booty. Don't bring up Pirate's Booty. Speaker B: When you open up the booty, It's filet mignon. Speaker A: I do be eating the booty in that, in that sense. It's real, it's real, it's really real. Speaker B: Okay, Ian, we got clean audio on that one. Got it. Okay, I think that's a wrap for you, Chris. We got everything. Speaker A: Oh dude, not the Pirate's Booty. Don't bring up Pirate's Booty. Speaker B: When you open up the booty, It's filet mignon.

Speaker A: I do be eating the booty in that, in that sense. It's real, it's real, it's really real. Speaker B: Okay, Ian, we got clean audio on that one. Got it. Okay, I think that's a wrap for you, Chris. We got everything. Speaker A: Pirate's booty took the cheeks. Speaker B: Yeah, so do you, do you feel yourself, you know, going back to Fat Boy Chris with the, with the soft batch cookies, put a whole sleeve down? Speaker A: I mean, it's different, it's different, but it's not different, you know what I'm saying?

I think, I think it is affecting the same sort of brain activity, you know what I mean? It's giving yourself what you want when you know you've had enough, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, yeah, if you order a large pizza and you— I'm only gonna eat half of it and it's sitting there, you're gonna have another slice. Speaker B: Sure. Speaker A: Like, it's just— this is what it is. It's the same thing if, like, you bought the ticket, we're taking the ride. If this— if these delicious reels are just sitting there, I'm putting some fucking salt and pepper and a little ketchup on them.

I'm chowing down. I can't be— Speaker B: you know, however much pow pow goes in the spoon is however much pow pow's going down. Speaker A: Exactly. Give me my chili oil. I'm about to drizzle this shit and get to chomping. Speaker B: Put the fentanyl back in the tube. Speaker A: You just ask Ronnie. You really can't. You really cannot. Speaker B: But I want to know when, when this ends, like, I was looking, I was looking on Instagram and there was a brand had a commercial or a teaser or a trailer or a clip for an upcoming deodorant commercial.

Speaker A: Okay, so you're saying a brand. Speaker B: So like, if that's happening, like, not what next? I mean, this is, these are, these are, are people going to be like this, this 90-second reel is too long. Just show me the clip of it. Speaker A: Okay, so you're saying a brand. Speaker B: So like, if that's happening, like, not what next? I mean, this is, these are, these are, are people going to be like this, this 90-second reel is too long. Just show me the clip of it. Speaker A: Dude, this is what I've been complaining about for years with like, we have to announce that the— we have to announce the tickets are going on sale a week before the tickets go on sale.

I mean, I have these— I have these discussions with my partners at Hanover too. It's like, well, we got a team— like, we don't have to tease anything. I'm not— we post it when there's a link to buy it. That, that's like what— like, I don't need to tease a zip-up sweatshirt. Like, it's much easier if we just post it with the link when it's ready. I don't— Speaker B: I just don't know if cool people don't tease, and then like data-driven people Gotta tease. Speaker A: But I think the teasing thing, there's clearly data to back up that works in some regard, or it wouldn't have taken over the way, the way that we operate.

There's data to do a lot of nerdy things that is beneficial, but I'm just sort of like, well, what if, what if, if we provide a link to click and buy it, isn't that when we should be talking about it? And it's like, of course, how can you argue with me? Like, that, of course that's right. But like, both things are probably right depending on how you split the data, you know what I mean? Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: A brand teasing their own commercial is— feels like somebody just wants to slot in some content because there was nothing there that day, which is like fine, you know what I mean?

It's, it's fine. But I don't think that's actually— I guess what I'm saying is if you look at it as another thing to post, that's fine. If you think it's going to convert, that is the question. That's the question I have. Speaker B: Yeah, we got the teaser of the clip of the music video dropping next year, you know, like that. Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I mean, people are mad at Olivia Rodrigo because her tour She announced a tour that's not until next year today or yesterday, and it's like the album's not out, the tour is a year from now.

Like, literally, like, I don't know, I just don't know if people really— I guess that's just the way things are set up now and people are used to doing it that way. Like, as far as like planning ahead and buying the tickets, doing the whole thing, I guess people are just fine with it. Speaker B: Yeah, we got the teaser of the clip of the music video dropping next year, you know, like that. Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I mean, people are mad at Olivia Rodrigo because her tour She announced a tour that's not until next year today or yesterday, and it's like the album's not out, the tour is a year from now.

Like, literally, like, I don't know, I just don't know if people really— I guess that's just the way things are set up now and people are used to doing it that way. Like, as far as like planning ahead and buying the tickets, doing the whole thing, I guess people are just fine with it. Speaker B: Yeah, it's, it's very kind of Disney adult, um, you know. I guess people who are Olivia Rodrigo fans, obviously she's you know, she's cool and cool people like her music. But I think, you know, the core fan base of 13-year-olds or whatever, you know, or the, the Disney adults that have 13-year-old sensibilities, they really want to have that thing on their calendar that they have something to look forward to and live for.

My question is, it's for people who don't have a whole lot going on in their life, you know? Speaker A: I mean, if— I guess if— I guess what I'm saying is, from what I understand, the, the people of that age, like, their tastes change so fast. I feel like literally you could be like, I'm off this, like, by like your parents spend $300 to get you 2 tickets or 4 tickets, so $600, whatever, to take you and your friend to the show. Speaker B: Mom, we hate Sombra now, get out of my room.

Speaker A: And then by the time Sombra comes to town, they're like, Mom, have you heard? This is Lorelei, Sombra sucks. You know what I mean? And it's like, whatever, listen to Help, Mom, you fucking retard. Yeah, that's literally what it was. Yeah, it's like Olivia Rodrigo, Mom, Pavement's super cool. So I don't know how— I, I don't— I really don't know. But I mean, I think all that stuff's just set up that way and that's how it's going to work. But I think you're right. I mean, I like to have stuff on the calendar too, though.

I'm not like— I like to have something to look— I like to something to look forward to as well. Okay, whatever that may be, whatever that may be. But not a year in advance. Not a year. That, that, like, a year is like literally a wedding. I don't know what else you need to plan a year in advance. Speaker A: And then by the time Sombra comes to town, they're like, Mom, have you heard? This is Lorelei, Sombra sucks. You know what I mean? And it's like, whatever, listen to Help, Mom, you fucking retard.

Yeah, that's literally what it was. Yeah, it's like Olivia Rodrigo, Mom, Pavement's super cool. So I don't know how— I, I don't— I really don't know. But I mean, I think all that stuff's just set up that way and that's how it's going to work. But I think you're right. I mean, I like to have stuff on the calendar too, though. I'm not like— I like to have something to look— I like to something to look forward to as well. Okay, whatever that may be, whatever that may be. But not a year in advance.

Not a year. That, that, like, a year is like literally a wedding. I don't know what else you need to plan a year in advance. Speaker B: I mean, save the dates for weddings are 6 months. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, if it's like a really big one and a destination one, then yeah, a year. But otherwise, I mean, getting a year in advance for the save the date, so much of your own life can change, you know? Speaker A: Dude, real talk, bro. Speaker B: I mean, what if the venue stops doing like Spanish-style tapas and switches to something else and like You know, wait, hold on.

Speaker A: You're saying there's no ceviche available at all? Speaker B: Yeah. What if it changes? Somebody fucking one-shots their ceviche program and then, like, the printer is, like, probably already halfway done. I actually— speaking of food, I was— I was getting a haircut yesterday. Shout out to— Speaker A: hell yeah, bro. Oh, yeah. Speaker B: Shout out to the familia. Get a little— Speaker A: get a little shit hooked up, bro. Get your little shit hooked up. Speaker B: Looking good. My hair is growing so fast lately. I want to check my Venmo history to see if like one year ago today, if I was getting haircuts less frequently because I feel like I'm getting them every like 3 weeks now.

Speaker A: hell yeah, bro. Oh, yeah. Speaker B: Shout out to the familia. Get a little— Speaker A: get a little shit hooked up, bro. Get your little shit hooked up. Speaker B: Looking good. My hair is growing so fast lately. I want to check my Venmo history to see if like one year ago today, if I was getting haircuts less frequently because I feel like I'm getting them every like 3 weeks now. Speaker A: I'm surprised those guys take Venmo. That's cool. Speaker B: They got the fucking— the QR.

Speaker A: My barber is cash only, baby. East Village Barber. They say 9th Street Barber say we cash only. Speaker B: I mean, they would prefer cash, of course. Speaker A: Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Speaker B: I ain't always got it on me, but I went and got a coffee after at this place called Loop. And, um, it's, it's like a fancy kind of highfalutin like barista. Speaker A: Oh, you don't say. It's called Loop and it's baristas. You know, there's dark woods and, you know, they're wearing selvedge aprons that are fully custom.

Speaker B: You know, all it was, it's, you're expecting, you know, some high-level stuff. And I got a cortado and I don't remember with, I tipped him a dollar. It was probably like $6 or $7 or something like that. Shot, and I saw her making, uh, making the shot, pulling the shot. And then she was, she was like, is whole milk okay? I'm like, yeah, whole milk's good. Pulls out the, the Kirkland Costco gallon milk. Speaker A: Oh, hell no. Speaker B: And I was like, wow, I thought you guys would be using better milk for how much you charge for your cortado.

Speaker A: It's just one of those low-key, like, actually the Kirkland brand is fire. Speaker B: That's what I wanted. That's what I was sort of fishing for. And I, when I said, I'm surprised you guys are using fucking Costco milk for the $7 coffee or whatever. And she was like, oh, we actually, I thought we really have competitive prices compared to other places. And I was like, yeah, but those places are using like good milk, not like Costco milk. And she was just like, or I mean, and then that was it.

But I was, I was hoping that she was going to say like low-key, like the Costco vodka, like rates higher than Belvedere. Speaker A: It's just one of those low-key, like, actually the Kirkland brand is fire. Speaker B: That's what I wanted. That's what I was sort of fishing for. And I, when I said, I'm surprised you guys are using fucking Costco milk for the $7 coffee or whatever. And she was like, oh, we actually, I thought we really have competitive prices compared to other places. And I was like, yeah, but those places are using like good milk, not like Costco milk.

And she was just like, or I mean, and then that was it. But I was, I was hoping that she was going to say like low-key, like the Costco vodka, like rates higher than Belvedere. Speaker A: I was hoping, I was hoping for even more than that. I was hoping for like 'Oh, we, we get this from our own farm.' Like, our— like, the way that— the way that— Speaker B: oh, like, 'We just use the, the leftover jugs, but this is all— this is like raw milk that we got from Encinitas.'

Yeah, that— Speaker A: like, like, 'We get this.' Or— yeah, that feels— that feels kind of crazy to me. Speaker B: This is from— this is from Zach Galifianakis. This— Speaker A: did you watch— did you watch any of that? I haven't watched it yet. I'm not going— Speaker B: no, going back to the theme of our conversation, I Carolyn and I watched the trailer or the clip of it, and we were like, this trailer and this clip, whatever, 90 seconds of Zach Galifianakis being himself in a garden with kids and adults and whatever, it was very good.

It was— yeah, I'm sure he's so— he's still so funny. He's a cute guy. He's just, you know, a random silly guy, just, you know, a comedic great. And then when it's time to click play on the show, we were both like, I'm good. Yeah, that was exactly like all the, all the good moments happened on this trailer. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: And I— you, you can just smell a trailer. You can smell it on a trailer when this is the best we got, you know what I mean? Speaker A: I mean, I, I get a lot of clips for Between Two Ferns still, and it's pretty amazing how well it holds up.

It's gold, brother, how well it holds up. But yeah, that's, that's a good— what, what happens on the show He's just gardening with children. Speaker B: I think he just says like, I don't know anything about gardening, I'm like so stupid, but like I developed this like hydroponic system for the blah, you know. I think it's just like, watch me sort of fumble through, you know, the world of gardening. I learned a few things and I'll pass them on to you. And you know, I think he really believes in, you know, spreading awareness about deforestation and blah blah blah.

Apparently the world has 64 more cycles of, of like plant life before the bitch is tapped out. Speaker A: It sounds like, oh, that's fine, I'll be dead before then anyway, so it doesn't really stress me out, you know. Speaker B: I don't— Speaker A: that doesn't really bother me too much. That doesn't really bother me too much. Speaker B: I don't know, I don't know how long each cycle is. Speaker A: Oh, that's a good— okay, if the cycles are a week, then I could be here and my vegetables could be tainted.

So I do think that does— I'm sorry, I spoke too soon. I should have gotten all the data before speaking out. Speaker B: Because there's so many cycles out right now. Speaker A: Yeah, there's so many cycles. I can't— I can't even keep up. When do you leave? Tomorrow? Speaker B: Yeah, I leave tomorrow. Off to Paris and then London. We're taking the train from Paris to London. First time. Speaker A: Yeah, bro, you got to take the Eurostar. It's the best, man. Speaker B: Yeah, I leave tomorrow. Off to Paris and then London.

We're taking the train from Paris to London. First time. Speaker A: Yeah, bro, you got to take the Eurostar. It's the best, man. Speaker B: That's what everyone says. It's the great logo. The best. Speaker A: Great logo. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: On the coffee cup. Just something to think about. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: Nothing, nothing. I know you're a design, you know, I know that you're design forward. Speaker B: So psycho if that coffee cup hit my stories later in a week's time. Speaker A: Don't, don't, don't tease me like that.

Okay. Don't tease me with a little story. Speaker B: And then off to New York, DJing a wedding on, uh, on next Saturday. Speaker A: Oh yeah. I know I'll be here. Speaker B: Are you gonna be at the wedding? Speaker A: No, no, no. I'm not gonna be at the wedding. Actually, I'm not. Speaker B: But you're gonna be in New York. Speaker A: Oh yeah, baby. I'm here. Speaker B: I'm, I'm locked the fuck in. Speaker A: What are we gonna do? I don't know. I, I think we're gonna try to go to Borgo, I think.

I think, but Alex is leaving. I'm trying to figure it out. Speaker B: Um, but that's on a Monday, right? Speaker A: I guess there's some sort of discussion that's going on behind our backs. Not, not nefarious, just like there's a discussion going on that I don't think we're involved in until it's time for me to email somebody to get a table somewhere. Speaker B: We're okay with that, right? Speaker A: Totally preferred, actually. I'm good with whatever, as I famously say all the time, as an easygoing guy. You know me, I'm just— Speaker B: yeah, yeah, I'm cool, super chill, easygoing until, until anything happens.

Speaker A: Hold on, something happened and Chris just lost it. Now I've gotten calmer. I've, I've gotten calmer in my old age. Don't, don't put that on my jacket. Speaker B: You have. Well, I mean, I think as far as I know, I don't get into— I don't know what you're hiding. Speaker A: I've, I don't get into as many, um, public altercations that I used to. I really don't. Yeah, I don't. And even when like something goes— I don't know, like today the flight attendant like kind of gave me attitude for the way I was sitting.

And I didn't like the cut of her jib anyway because she was fucking talking too much. You know, it was like one of those flights. It was like a flight back from Minneapolis and there's like a group of women who are going on a trip to New York. They're all wearing I Love New York shirts. They're probably in their 60s and everybody's just talking and they're talking to this fucking fried fly attendant. I got to put on my noise canceling. I put on the fucking white noise so I can read my book.

And, and, you know, then, then she like scolds me for having my foot peeking out into the aisle a little bit. Oh, 8 years ago, I would, I would have literally gone off. And this, you know what, I just looked at her, didn't take my headphones off, didn't acknowledge her at all, and looked back down at my book, and she went away. And that's how it should— that's how it's got to be handled, because you can't— I can't, I can't cause a scene. It's, it's bad. I'm glad that I've— I, I think the Wilco Festival thing, that was— I was embarrassed by that.

I shouldn't have reacted that way, even though I was, even though I was sort of— my, my hand was forced. Speaker B: You have. Well, I mean, I think as far as I know, I don't get into— I don't know what you're hiding. Speaker A: I've, I don't get into as many, um, public altercations that I used to. I really don't. Yeah, I don't. And even when like something goes— I don't know, like today the flight attendant like kind of gave me attitude for the way I was sitting. And I didn't like the cut of her jib anyway because she was fucking talking too much.

You know, it was like one of those flights. It was like a flight back from Minneapolis and there's like a group of women who are going on a trip to New York. They're all wearing I Love New York shirts. They're probably in their 60s and everybody's just talking and they're talking to this fucking fried fly attendant. I got to put on my noise canceling. I put on the fucking white noise so I can read my book. And, and, you know, then, then she like scolds me for having my foot peeking out into the aisle a little bit.

Oh, 8 years ago, I would, I would have literally gone off. And this, you know what, I just looked at her, didn't take my headphones off, didn't acknowledge her at all, and looked back down at my book, and she went away. And that's how it should— that's how it's got to be handled, because you can't— I can't, I can't cause a scene. It's, it's bad. I'm glad that I've— I, I think the Wilco Festival thing, that was— I was embarrassed by that. I shouldn't have reacted that way, even though I was, even though I was sort of— my, my hand was forced.

Speaker B: I still feel it's— Speaker A: yeah, shame. Speaker B: Well, it's nice to know that you still— you, because you don't want to, you don't want to be fully docile. You still need to know that fight in you. Speaker A: In that, in that situation, it was also like a big guy feeling threatening. This was a flight attendant who's just trying to do her job, but I found it annoying, you know what I mean? It wasn't like she actually did something wrong. It was just sort of like, why?

I know that, I know that you're going to be walking down the aisle. Like, I'm very clear on how the plane works. Speaker A: In that, in that situation, it was also like a big guy feeling threatening. This was a flight attendant who's just trying to do her job, but I found it annoying, you know what I mean? It wasn't like she actually did something wrong. It was just sort of like, why? I know that, I know that you're going to be walking down the aisle. Like, I'm very clear on how the plane works.

Speaker B: Oh, you gotta— you, you just shoot her a look that says, really, bitch? And then right back to your little Lena Dunham book. And I'm really— Speaker A: yes, I'm reading a Jeannette McCurdy book. And she's like, oh, Oh, huh, this gay guy gave me attitude on the plane today, sweetheart. Can you believe that? Speaker B: Would have thought you would have been an ally with that literature. Speaker A: Yeah, with that literature. Why don't you take that— why don't you take the dust jacket off that next time, big bro, if you want to give me attitude?

Let's keep them guessing a little bit, you know what I mean? Speaker B: Yeah, I just finished the, the Dunham book yesterday, dude. She didn't— Speaker A: because, you know, she hired this girl Dolly Meckler to do like the, the rollout, I guess, and it was all about Dolly. It was all very Substack stack, uh, forward. And she's— Lena said to someone, and she didn't reveal her source, but that basically a Substack, yeah, subscriber or reader is like X amount more valuable than a Twitter or Instagram follower as far as like actually purchasing books goes, which, which makes a lot of sense.

But I mean, she came in number one, dude, number one, like 60,000 books in a week or something, I think, which is pretty unbelievable. Speaker B: Go girl! Speaker A: Because like I was saying to— I was saying to you guys earlier, it's like she's really famous to like our generation, but I bet my mom doesn't know who she is, you know what I mean? Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 50/50 our parents are familiar. Speaker A: Yeah, like I feel like for us she feels like something— somebody who's been a part of our lives since we can remember almost, because like girls—

Speaker B: Go girl! Speaker A: Because like I was saying to— I was saying to you guys earlier, it's like she's really famous to like our generation, but I bet my mom doesn't know who she is, you know what I mean? Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 50/50 our parents are familiar. Speaker A: Yeah, like I feel like for us she feels like something— somebody who's been a part of our lives since we can remember almost, because like girls— Speaker B: she's like our Avi Woke basically. Speaker A: Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Yeah, less, less clips. Um, all right, How Long Gone, thank you guys for listening. Speaker B: Less clips. Speaker A: How Long Gone, thank you guys for listening. We appreciate it. We'll be back next week. We're doing a little, uh, a classic How Long Gone Met Gala wrap-up with our friend Lynette, uh, next week. And then, and then we'll be doing a little one-on-one while Jason's, uh, in Europe, which is like, once again, we prefer to feed the beast when we can. Um, thank you, thank you for listening, and, uh, we'll talk to you shortly.

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