948. - Chris & Jason

Speaker A: All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? Speaker B: We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

Speaker A: All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Come on, you son of a bitch. How long gone? Sunday morning, the rain's coming down in Manhattan. It's a real shithole out there. Speaker B: Really? Speaker A: Oh man, it's bad, dude. It's, you know, somebody actually— there's this ongoing joke online that, that it only rains in New York on the weekends, and someone did the actual research and it's like it's some insane percentage of weekends have like 70% of New York weekends have rain.

Speaker B: Thank God you and I don't really have weekends or prescribe to that, you know. Speaker A: Every day is the same, baby, when you look at it the right way. That's what I always say. Um, but I did have to suit up in all my gear and my fucking umbrella to go to the gym, you know. It's just, it really is. After— Speaker B: okay, you got, you got your Coggins, your, uh, your, your waders on to go, to go ruck down to Integral? Speaker A: Every day is the same, baby, when you look at it the right way.

That's what I always say. Um, but I did have to suit up in all my gear and my fucking umbrella to go to the gym, you know. It's just, it really is. After— Speaker B: okay, you got, you got your Coggins, your, uh, your, your waders on to go, to go ruck down to Integral? Speaker A: I had to— no, I, no, just a regular Arcteryx shell. But, you know, then I got the umbrella. Yeah, it's just, it requires— it's tough to walk and text when you got the water bottle and the umbrella.

It's, you know what I mean? It's just, it's real. It's commuter hours over here. It sucks. Speaker B: Maybe, um, swing by Amazon, the little barber section, get one of the The hoods, little kind of capes, but that has the clear window so you could still look at your phone for navigation. Speaker A: You talking about when I go to the hood barber shop and they got the, the fake Supreme cape with the, the hole in it so you can text your boys? I don't, um, I don't need to text that bad.

I, I was able to keep my phone in the pocket, but it's just one of those things. Speaker B: And you can get around Manhattan at this point without using Google Maps, right? Speaker A: I mean, depends on where you want me to go, bro. I mean, my, in my 15-block radius, yes. If you want me to go outside of that, it's going to be touch and go. From there. Speaker B: Really? Okay, okay. Speaker A: No, I'm trying to think now. I could reasonably get somewhere, but it's like we talk about all the time, we're so Google Map brained that like it doesn't even occur to me to just go get on the train and go somewhere, even though I, I could in a reasonable sense.

Speaker B: Some landmarks, I think every— maybe once a week or maybe twice a month, something like that. We'll start out slow. Twice a month, you rip the condom off and you just raw dog the streets, you know? First Avenue, guess what comes after that? Second You know what I'm saying? Just stuff like that. Little, little hacks and tips to kind of bop around. Yeah. Speaker B: Some landmarks, I think every— maybe once a week or maybe twice a month, something like that. We'll start out slow. Twice a month, you rip the condom off and you just raw dog the streets, you know?

First Avenue, guess what comes after that? Second You know what I'm saying? Just stuff like that. Little, little hacks and tips to kind of bop around. Yeah. Speaker A: I don't mean to ruin it for you, Chris, but the city is famously on a grid, so you should be able to kind of figure it out. That's what they say. They always tell me it's on the grid. You know, it's on the grid. Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, they say it's a grid until you get some of these diagonals and then what?

Speaker A: But I'm saying, what is even a grid? Flatiron? What is a grid? You know what I mean? Speaker B: What is a grid? That's where my wife asked me if this photo of this model goes well with this photo of that model. Speaker A: That's what I was about to say. At this point, grid to most people only means one thing, and that means the Instagram front page. You know what I mean? That's the only thing it means these days. Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah. Role model shirt is light peach, and that's really going to clash with Lisa's purple evening gown.

Speaker A: I don't know if it's going to work on grid as this hashtag on grid. Speaker B: Look, I mean, and that's nothing against your photos. I think you did such a good job creating these images, but— Speaker A: No, the pictures are amazing. Speaker B: Just in terms of the color story, it's just a shame how it all worked out. Speaker A: It's not your fault. Speaker B: It's their fault. Just check out Bella Hadid's page. You can find some inspo there about how to lay out a grid.

Speaker A: Is Bella Hadid on Instagram? I didn't know that. Speaker B: It's funny. Funny guy. Speaker A: I didn't, I've never seen— Speaker B: No, Alex, I didn't even know she has that. Speaker A: That's crazy. Speaker B: A lot of celebrities— A famous influencer has a social media platform? Speaker A: Is Bella Hadid on Instagram? I didn't know that. Speaker B: It's funny. Funny guy. Speaker A: I didn't, I've never seen— Speaker B: No, Alex, I didn't even know she has that. Speaker A: That's crazy. Speaker B: A lot of celebrities— A famous influencer has a social media platform?

Speaker A: A lot of celebrities are offline nowadays, so I wasn't sure. You know, some people for their mental health, some people are going offline, you know what I mean? Speaker B: Okay, well check it out. It's com/bellahadid. She is a verified power user with 60 million followers. Speaker A: Wow, 60 million. I actually— I did not realize that. Jesus Christ. Speaker B: I think people sleep on Bella because she has never done anything except go on vacation, but I think she's, she's special and we don't celebrate her enough. Speaker A: I think certain people celebrate her maybe too much, uh, depending on what, what constitutes a celebration.

Speaker B: Who that is, Chris? Who that is? Speaker A: I'm not— not— I don't know. No one we would know, of course, but I just mean people out there in the, in the online space could take things too far. Sometimes online people take things too far. I don't know if that's something you've ever, ever come across. Speaker B: I've never crossed the line in the online space, Chris. Speaker A: Come No, no, no, not you. Of course not. Besides downloading illegal files, you're, you're, you know, I know you're, you're, you're squeaky clean, but I'm saying I pay the donations on Soulseek.

Speaker B: All right. You, if you, if you don't believe that for a second on your website, buy me a coffee, buy me a coffee. You know, I will buy you a coffee. Speaker A: No, not for a second. Speaker B: I swear to God, I donate to file downloading websites. Now that I have my bread up, it's a thing that I take pleasure in. Speaker A: That's what you, okay. Wow. That's okay. So you, you were, you're choosing to to do your tiny donations for the greater good is to illegal websites for file sharing.

Not, not literacy, not homelessness. Speaker A: No, not for a second. Speaker B: I swear to God, I donate to file downloading websites. Now that I have my bread up, it's a thing that I take pleasure in. Speaker A: That's what you, okay. Wow. That's okay. So you, you were, you're choosing to to do your tiny donations for the greater good is to illegal websites for file sharing. Not, not literacy, not homelessness. Speaker B: The money doesn't go to the artist and just to the person who's hosting the peer-to-peer. Great.

Speaker A: Okay, so you're giving a Russian teenager his $50 instead of— Speaker B: instead of the Soulseek owner. I think it's a married couple now. They're, you know, it's been around for so long, these are adults and this is their real job. you know, whatever it is, avoiding the federal police in whatever country they are. They're currently— Speaker A: I wonder which part of Bali. Speaker B: I think enough time has passed. I think enough time has passed where they're like, the streaming, you know, ecosystem is just so far beyond fucked.

And also like the amount of people who even know how to store files on their devices to keep is so low. You know, they make it so hard to— if you ask a random person like, hey, where would you go? Where do you go? Where do you go buy your MP3s? They're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Speaker A: Can you— I know I was literally talking about this earlier this week because there's, there's some— there was announced that there's going to be some new streaming service where I think it's all purchase and it's like a— obviously it's artists first and artists are investing in it and it's like, I imagine it's some sort of high quality file that no one should actually give a shit about.

But you can buy music on iTunes or Apple still, but Spotify, do you have the option? Spotify doesn't give that option, right? Speaker B: Does not give the option. And I don't even— and Apple, I don't even know how well— Speaker A: no, Apple does. I think Apple does because that's how Apple started, you know what I mean? Speaker B: I don't, I also, people complain because the Apple file type is, is worse. Speaker A: Oh, I see. Speaker B: It's like super compressed. Speaker A: I only know this from, from like Joe Budden talks about buying, they all buy music because they think that really, you know, is putting money in the artist's pocket.

You know, Capone-Noreaga are getting their 20 cents off or whatever, but I don't know. Speaker B: But he's the, he's like the, the, the small minority of people who actually require an MP3 because he has his little Serato out and he's playing his drops and his songs and like he needs the MP3, but like It's true. Who else is like, you know what, I have my iPad. Speaker A: Besides my father-in-law. Besides my father-in-law. I don't think anyone. I don't think, I don't think anyone. Speaker B: Yeah. You have to, yeah.

I mean, to go into the iTunes, like who's going to go on like Amazon. I used to go on Amazon and I would buy an MP3 for $1.99 because I'm playing a wedding or something like that. I want that song. Yeah. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: So I would, I either I get 50 songs on Amazon Music and like the, the user journey of that is abysmal. Like they couldn't make it more difficult. You have to like, like start over every single time, or I could take that $50, go to Soulseek and download, you know, WAV files, FLAC files, 320s.

Sure. All perfectly lined up, ready to go. Speaker A: I mean, the money is still going in the pocket of the wrong person, but I understand that if you're going to spend money, you would like to get a better value for your dollar. Speaker B: I want to give the money to my peers out there on the ground. Speaker A: I mean, the money is still going in the pocket of the wrong person, but I understand that if you're going to spend money, you would like to get a better value for your dollar.

Speaker B: I want to give the money to my peers out there on the ground. Speaker A: I know that the Macarena needs to be a FLAC file at every wedding, but I think that— Speaker B: I do love the irony of downloading the hora illegally every Every summer season. Speaker A: Well, look, they got enough money is what I've heard, so I don't think— oh, come on. Sorry, sorry, I'm talking about Amazon. I'm talking about Amazon. Speaker B: I don't— Speaker A: sure, I don't, um, yeah, I don't think that— I don't— no matter how, uh, much the music business, who has destroyed the artist income themselves, want us to buy— you know, it's just not gonna happen.

There's no way. Speaker B: You— Speaker A: in TJ voice— you can't put that toothpaste back in the tube. You can't all of a sudden expect people, even people with good conscience who love music, who buy tickets and buy merch to support artists, you expect them to all of a sudden be like, you know what, instead of streaming every song that's ever been created for $12 a month, I'm going to pay $12 per album every week for what I like. It's, it's impossible proposition. Speaker B: Yeah. Impossible. And the world is trying to make us not own anything at all anymore.

You know, your, your homes, your property, your cars, your devices, whatever it is. We're, we, we, we lease our iPhone from, from an evil corporation and it's impossible to buy a home and no one, is buying cars anymore. That's the hard stuff to tackle. Making MP3s, you know, rentable and not downloadable. They've been doing that for decades now and it's really not— it's never going to be reversed. Speaker A: Make MP3s rentable again. You know, that's what we got to really— some strong stuff. Speaker B: I mean, this is going to be the future of like doomsday prepper motherfuckers.

They'll be like, yeah, bitch, but you wish you had this hard drive full of Steely Dan classics. Speaker A: You're going to be— Speaker B: they ain't got that on YouTube, brother. Well, oh, they do? Oh, fuck. Speaker A: Actually, they do. That's where they— most of them live. Um, yeah, I was, I was pretty interested in this. You know, Donald Trump's been really getting his shit off lately, and he was, he was, um, I don't know if you saw where he was lusting after a man, right, pretty openly, in a way that I feel like I, I have not— I mean, from a presidential— from, from the president of the United States, I haven't seen this kind of flirting publicly in, in maybe ever.

Speaker B: The sheer simpery of it all. Speaker A: I don't think J. Edgar Hoover was doing this, you know what I mean? I don't think Richard Nixon was commenting on a football player's thighs. That's just my guess. Speaker B: Look at the quads on this one. No, he— I think people are learning that because he's— you don't have to like read between the lines and figure out what he's thinking. He says it in a way that only like a child or a demented elder will do. Kind of like when you walk by and a kid's like, "That lady's fat," and you're like, "Don't say that."

Yeah, it is like that. Speaker A: It really is like that. Speaker B: He just comes out and says like, I don't like guys that are good looking, but I do like guys that are very buff and muscular. I mean, look, if he's not threatened by somebody who's really buff because in his mind he could become, you know, Chud the Missile, the performance-enhanced swimmer, if he just did the work. You know, it's like Lizzo, like, I can lose the weight, you gonna be ugly forever type mentality. Speaker A: It really is like that.

Speaker B: He just comes out and says like, I don't like guys that are good looking, but I do like guys that are very buff and muscular. I mean, look, if he's not threatened by somebody who's really buff because in his mind he could become, you know, Chud the Missile, the performance-enhanced swimmer, if he just did the work. You know, it's like Lizzo, like, I can lose the weight, you gonna be ugly forever type mentality. Speaker A: If I, if I— it's amazing to say call a guy— first of all, Jackson, J-A-X-S-O-N, which is one of the stupidest names that has ever been.

I mean, you know, that sounds like— Speaker B: you come out of the womb and they're like, okay, so are you gonna do girl-guy porn or is it just the guy porn? Like, how— like, Jackson Dart, it's a porn star name. Speaker A: Jackson Dart is an OnlyFans handle before it's a— before it's a name. But he called him a beautiful guy and then complimented his physique, describing his legs as being quote, like tree trunks, unquote. But then he used— this is the best part— then he used Jackson's, uh, size to argue about against transgender women competing in sports.

That is one of the most insane pivots. You're, you're literally lusting after a man's thighs and then you're using his size. It— I just— this is all very— this is confusing. Speaker B: What, what was his angle with, with Jackson Dart's body? Uh, quarterback of the New York Giants, of of course, you know, did his time over at USC and Ole Miss. But how does him and his 6'3"— Jason, it's a great 22-year-old hairless body. Speaker B: What, what was his angle with, with Jackson Dart's body? Uh, quarterback of the New York Giants, of of course, you know, did his time over at USC and Ole Miss.

But how does him and his 6'3"— Jason, it's a great 22-year-old hairless body. Speaker A: What is that a question? I don't know. I did— I don't know exactly. And I don't think— I mean, I think he does it now. Speaker B: Trump's like, I don't know how, but we got there. Just, just enjoy it. Speaker A: Yeah, just enjoy it. I just— I was just reading that being like, damn, like, I, I— thighs as big as tree trunks is a very, very specific— that, that's not something you just pull out of your ass.

That feels like something he said before, is what I, is what I mean. I think other guys have gotten this sort of lust from DT. Speaker B: What, um, what word do you think he uses to describe the, the thighs of a lady? Speaker A: Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water. Speaker B: He knows how to charge my copay. Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: That's about it.

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Do us a favor if you could and tell them How Long Gone sent you, and that'll just support us. Thanks. Speaker A: This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own, but the truth is no one has all the answers.

Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference. Speaker B: I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most, that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp, choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you.

Over 6 million people globally are using it, and, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy, sign up and get 10% off at com/howlong. That is com/howlong. Speaker A: I don't think he's looking at lady thighs, Jason. That's the whole thing.

Oh, I don't think he likes— I don't think he likes— I think he likes a woman. Speaker B: I think he likes a large thigh on a guy but not so much on a lady. Speaker A: Okay, I think he probably— yeah, I think he probably likes women to be pretty, you know what I mean? But then they're— it's— they're more Barbie style down below the neck in his mind. Speaker B: Okay. Um, I'm looking at photos of Jackson Dart. I've never seen him. He does the black, you know, where they put the little black face paint under their eyes to cut down on the glare.

He does a single kind of gator tail, coke line of black just down one eye. So— and then by the end of the game, it's all kind of smudgy and all over the place, and it looks like— Speaker A: he also wears— he He wears a fat-ass chain though, got a diamond heart necklace that his sister gave him. But no, I mean, the single— I'll take the single smear over that single smear being a cross, which I've also seen before. So at least, at least he's not— I mean, he's clearly religious.

I mean, it's, it's pretty crazy for the quarterback of the New York Football Giants to simp, simp for Donald Trump that hard publicly. That's like kind of insane. Speaker B: Is he doing the simping? He's simping. Speaker A: I mean, I think in, in this case, yeah, I mean, he didn't need to do that, you know what I mean? Like, he did not need to introduce Donald Trump at a rally. It wasn't like they won. Speaker B: Oh, okay, so that's what happened. Okay, I didn't know that. Speaker A: Yeah, it wasn't like he was invited to the White House because he did something good, you know what I mean?

It's— he didn't win Best Little Mullet. Speaker A: I mean, I think in, in this case, yeah, I mean, he didn't need to do that, you know what I mean? Like, he did not need to introduce Donald Trump at a rally. It wasn't like they won. Speaker B: Oh, okay, so that's what happened. Okay, I didn't know that. Speaker A: Yeah, it wasn't like he was invited to the White House because he did something good, you know what I mean? It's— he didn't win Best Little Mullet. Speaker B: So Dart was like, I'm gonna come out and introduce the GOAT.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's like Caitlin Clark getting in trouble for doing the walkout with Morgan Wallen. They're like, we knew it, we knew it, we knew all along, you know what I mean? It's like, okay, relax. Speaker B: Be so cool if Trump brought out the Samoan nose tackle instead of him. He's like, not who I wanted, guy. Speaker A: Look, we had to deal with some availabilities. This is what we had. Speaker B: This guy's thighs look like a tree trunk, parentheses derogatory. Speaker A: Yeah, somehow it's bad now because there's a good way.

I do think Trump likes some hairless though. Trump wants a Troye Sivan style you know, otter in that sense. He wants him bare. Speaker B: So I guess that means what he's saying, he's, he's low-key sending a shot to Jackson saying like, you know, body is tea, but like face is, you know, I'm— you're, you're not hot enough to threaten my, my masculine identity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. That's got to hurt to JD. Speaker A: I, I mean, I think JD at 20— Speaker B: Jackson Dart, that's the JD he wishes he had.

Speaker A: JD— Jackson Dart as the quarterback of the New York Giants at 23, just looking at him I can tell he's dumb as a rock. And I— look, I'm not— I don't have any test scores, I don't have anything to base this on. Maybe he's super street smart, you know, who knows. I assume, um, you know, he's, he's kind of been coddled his whole life because he's got a cannon on him, you know. Speaker A: JD— Jackson Dart as the quarterback of the New York Giants at 23, just looking at him I can tell he's dumb as a rock.

And I— look, I'm not— I don't have any test scores, I don't have anything to base this on. Maybe he's super street smart, you know, who knows. I assume, um, you know, he's, he's kind of been coddled his whole life because he's got a cannon on him, you know. Speaker B: Jackson Dart graduated from Ole Miss with a stellar 3.7 GPA. Oh, you're— oh, you're telling me he's a business major? Speaker A: You're telling me a star athlete graduated from college that with a high GPA. I'm sure the teachers were really hard on him.

I'm sure he had to— I'm sure he really had to study to take his tests and stuff. Speaker B: He was frequently named to the Chancellor's and Dean's List as well as the SEC Honor Roll for his excellence both on and off the field. Speaker A: Oh, I bet he— I bet he's excellent on and off the field. There's no question there. And Jackson, I've obviously— I've never met him, I've never seen him play, but I, I assume he's— I assume he's a genius as well as a great athlete. I mean, speaking of athletes, Enemy of the show Travis Kelce was at the game last night sitting, sitting courtside, uh, to watch the Cavaliers with the Knicks.

And he— this is, this is something that I of course didn't notice because I don't— I'm not fully abreast of his, uh, investment portfolio. But he, he, he was able to slow motion drink a beer on the Jumbotron twice, and it is a beer that he owns. That, which I was, I was okay. I was stunned that the, the, that, that was, uh, that he, he was able to bring in what seems to be his own beer unless they sell it at the Garden. He brought his, it seems to me that he brought his own beer into a stadium, which if, you know, if the kid Miro tries to, they're putting handcuffs on them, they're taking him fucking to Rikers.

Do you know what I mean? So I just want to, I just want to clear that up that it seems like there's some white privilege going on here. Speaker B: Good point. Mom Donnie tries to bring in a little bit of that home cooked, you know, Biryani Baja Blaster Bowl. No, no, no, we're getting nose tackled. Speaker A: Yeah, it doesn't— Speaker B: on the floor. Speaker A: So I'm saying, you know, Travis Kelce and, and, um, and, and Taylor Swift obviously get escorted in. They're taking a different entrance, they always have security, etc.

But are you saying to me that you don't see one of these, these beer cans bulging out of his Jacquemus slacks? Is that really possible that we're looking the other— Speaker B: I think he probably had his, his crew contact, you know, his red cup boys. Speaker A: His red cup boys. Speaker B: He had some of his, you know, some good old red cup boys. And he, you know, somebody made a call and said, hey, Travis, he wants to come sit courtside at the game with this girl, Taylor Swift.

Is that okay with you? And then, you know, they clean all the cum up off the floor and then they go, but there's one thing he's going to bring in a can of beer. And they're like, I don't fucking care. You can shoot a minority. I don't fucking care. You know, so I think he did that ahead of time. You can't buy just a standard, you know, happy dad style can of beer at stadiums nowadays. It's either, it's like a $27 Modelo Tall Boy that's served in a stupid plastic cup or, you know, you can't just get like a 12-ounce can of beer at a stadium.

I don't think so. Speaker A: That, that, okay. This is good information because as a, as a non-beer drinker and a non-stadium goer, unless it's, you know, Zach Bryan in Salt Lake City. I didn't know that that was the case. So you're saying that beers now, because they're trying to charge so much, they got to give you a tall boy? They ain't gonna stick you with the little, the, the regular ass? Speaker A: That, that, okay. This is good information because as a, as a non-beer drinker and a non-stadium goer, unless it's, you know, Zach Bryan in Salt Lake City.

I didn't know that that was the case. So you're saying that beers now, because they're trying to charge so much, they got to give you a tall boy? They ain't gonna stick you with the little, the, the regular ass? Speaker B: Well, it's either they get a tall— I mean, this is just how it is and where I've been. I don't know how it is and, you know, in other parts of the world, but it's mostly like in a plastic cup, just like a beer cup. Yeah, yeah, the single can, you know, you don't see just like a 12-ounce Budweiser aluminum can.

Speaker A: So you ain't just breaking one off of the sixer. Because, you know, the thing with Travis Kelce is I know that every time he gets a six-pack for him and his brother to split on the show, he does kind of ceremoniously cut the plastic holder into pieces to keep the dolphins safe, which is something that I, I wouldn't have expected from him as a, as a damn, as kind of a, you know, a meathead. Speaker B: But I looked up the, the beer is called Garage Beer. Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: Beer flavored beer is the tagline, and it's the kind of beer that white people can drink in their garage. Speaker A: Is that his tagline is beer for white people? That seems crazy. That seems a little intense even for him. Speaker B: No, no. The garage that they're painting is Caucasian-coded, we will say. And there, but it's also kind of like there's a little like hand-drawn DIY aesthetic. Speaker A: Do you think he knows what DIY means? I don't think he does, to be fair. Speaker B: He's like, no, I fucking hate DEI.

Speaker A: What'd you say? Now that you're pointing this out, do it yourself. Speaker A: Do you think he knows what DIY means? I don't think he does, to be fair. Speaker B: He's like, no, I fucking hate DEI. Speaker A: What'd you say? Now that you're pointing this out, do it yourself. Speaker B: Yeah, I'll fucking deport him myself. Speaker A: Spending time in the garage is extremely white guy stuff. You're right. I don't know any black guys turned their garage into like a space, a third space for them and their homies to hang out.

Speaker B: Be like, yeah, we had to move into the garage because my wife said we can't do the giant Jenga game inside because it's too loud. Yeah, I don't know, black guys never said that in my life. Speaker A: No, they're, they're too cool for that. They're leaving that for Travis Kelce. But I'm, I'm impressed with Travis, you know, and I'm impressed with Taylor Swift for allowing him to get his little promo on, um, in a moment with her. Because I think usually he's used to his, his fiancée Taylor Swift Taylor Swift, um, stealing the spotlight, you know, kind of all eyes on her type shit.

And she said, you know what, at the sports game, we'll let you— this is kind of your zone. Speaker B: It's an away game for her, pardon the pun. Speaker A: And people are saying that she, quote unquote, her face card didn't get denied last night. And then when I saw it, it looked like she had maybe had just a quarter of a bar of Xanax to put up with this. Speaker B: She looked a little— Speaker A: the lids, the lids looked a little low, if you know what I'm saying, TJ.

Speaker B: Let me pull this up. Taylor Swift, Knicks game. I mean, it's going to be hard to you know, look at anything except those fucking bangs. But yeah, she's sort of— I mean, she looks like an American Girl doll. Like, she has the type of makeup— not to go full fucking cunt mode— but it has the type of makeup where everything just looks like one— it's like a two-dimensional thing. Like when you see a photo of Hawaii where there's no shadows for like 10 seconds out of the day and everything looks like a, you know, NBA 2016 video game.

Anyway, she's— I think you would have to take a Xan, take half a Xan to go just hang out with Travis Kelce courtside. Speaker A: If I got through, I got a 2.5-hour, let's say 2.5-hour front row at the Knicks game. I've put on, I've put on a fit. The hair and makeup team has left. Travis is wearing a flat build snapback. He's wearing a Don C fucking snapback. Speaker B: He's got, he's got a Mitchell Ness and it's the kind of burgundy red cap with a white snakeskin. Speaker A: That's a Don, that's a Don C ripoff then.

Don C is the OG of the snakeskin build. Give it up for Don C. Ben Edgar, I know you're listening. Give it up to Don C. This still— Speaker B: this could be a piece from the, from the C collection. Who knows? Because he's wearing the hat backwards. So in all the photos, I can't— the only thing I can see is those two special words, Mitchell and Ness. Speaker A: Shout out to Mitchell and Ness. That's the OGs. All my jerseys are Mitchell and Ness. You know that, Jason. We don't fuck with no fakes.

Speaker B: None of that Fanatic bullshit, right? Speaker A: Oh no, no, we ain't, we ain't with Michael Rubin and the food. Speaker B: The microplastics in there gotta be something. We ain't doing all that. Speaker A: We are not doing all that. Um, but yeah, I thought it was— Speaker B: I finally found the hat. Speaker A: It's an interesting— it's an interesting— those two, I just— it's something special every time they appear, you know. And it's nice— it's tough because at a, at a game, all eyes on you.

Obviously, you know, people are excited about the game, but when there's celebrities this level in the front row, they can't relax. For their— Speaker B: the— Speaker A: all eyes are on them, truly. Like, oh sure, you know, whatever, other, other celebrities are there, but you know, Joe Budden and his— and his— and Ish, and you know, fucking Fat Joe and Jadakiss aren't, aren't getting the same eyeballs, let's say. Jason Bateman is not even getting the same eyeballs as, as Kelsey and Taylor Swift. So there's nowhere to hide is what I'm trying to say.

Speaker B: the— Speaker A: all eyes are on them, truly. Like, oh sure, you know, whatever, other, other celebrities are there, but you know, Joe Budden and his— and his— and Ish, and you know, fucking Fat Joe and Jadakiss aren't, aren't getting the same eyeballs, let's say. Jason Bateman is not even getting the same eyeballs as, as Kelsey and Taylor Swift. So there's nowhere to hide is what I'm trying to say. Speaker B: And also, the Knicks haven't got this far into, into the finals or the playoff season in some time.

So these, you know, the, like you said, the, the Ja Rules and the Joel Santanas of the world, they'll, you know, they'll buy a little $3,000, $7,000 ticket, you know, nice little game But like, I saw the floor seats for the finals that have not, you know, started yet. And I think, you know, each— Speaker A: yeah, first two seats on StubHub have sold for $279,000. Speaker B: Yeah, KISS had a good year, but I don't know if he's gonna buy a $280,000 ticket. Speaker A: The Juice Bar in Bed-Stuy ain't— the dividends ain't that good.

The dividends in the red. Speaker B: Okay, so, um, the hat that Travis Kelce was wearing was a Cleveland Cavaliers snakeskin billed cap to pair with the stonewashed Louis Vuitton denim short sleeve shirt. Speaker A: That shirt is— that shirt is— bro, I wouldn't— I wouldn't use that as a sweat rag. That shirt, I wouldn't clean— I wouldn't fucking check my oil with that shirt. Speaker B: It's almost as if somebody, the designer at Louis Vuitton, was like, all right, and now I need to make a shirt for Travis Kelce and only Travis Kelce, just only Travis in mind.

And then they only make one and they sell it to Travis. And that's just what happens. It's part of the deal. Speaker A: That shirt is— that shirt is— bro, I wouldn't— I wouldn't use that as a sweat rag. That shirt, I wouldn't clean— I wouldn't fucking check my oil with that shirt. Speaker B: It's almost as if somebody, the designer at Louis Vuitton, was like, all right, and now I need to make a shirt for Travis Kelce and only Travis Kelce, just only Travis in mind. And then they only make one and they sell it to Travis.

And that's just what happens. It's part of the deal. Speaker A: It's a one of one. It's an exclusive. Speaker B: It's like when you, when you talk about the tennis rackets. Yeah, the pro, pro model versus the look regular, but it got different guts inside. Yeah. Speaker A: Yeah. What's, what's going on with what, what's going on with Pratt, bro? Because I look, I was just in LA. I was in LA for like a full week. Week. Saw a lot of, uh, Spencer Pratt for mayor yard signs. I saw a lot of, um, interesting, uh, people, uh, in our kind of zone supporting him versus not supporting him.

Speaker B: It feels like in our kind of zone— Speaker A: well, it's always funny when you see who supports someone like this who's like obviously a dumbass, but like, you know, I, I, I get that he represents quote-unquote change to some people. And if, if he's running simply on the basis of, um, my house burned down and I hate homeless people, that, that's a— you can get a lot of votes that way, you know, like that, that's unfortunately, that's— you can get a lot of votes that way. And I said this to you, and I might have said on the podcast, I might have said it when we were hanging out IRL, but in some ways a reality star mayor is sort of what LA deserves because that you have birthed, you have birthed these monsters and now they've come to roost.

And how can you deny them their rightful place? Speaker B: No, no, it all does make sense, and it is, uh, it is truly a Sophie's Choice of who to pick between these three candidates in Los Angeles. You know, I don't, I don't know if anyone in their right mind believes that Spencer Pratt will be a great politician, but when you compare the other two people who can't really, you know, form sentences, or they don't have a platform to argue, and Spencer's just saying like, hey, my, uh, Do you have a kid who lives in Los Angeles and do you think it sucks that every day you go to drop your 3-year-old off at school, you know, there's a guy spreading his asshole, you know, somewhere in front of the drop-off zone?

Do you think that's bad and you want to stop? And he's saying that and the other 2 people, they can't even say it. It's like when they try to ask DJ Khaled if he can say free Palestine and he's like, what is that? Okay, so that's how you die on the line. And that's, that's why you're going to get Spencer. Speaker A: My question is, why aren't these candidates going on? You know, it's like like, why are they not going on No Jumper? Why aren't they going on the places? Why aren't they going— like, I need Karen Bass and Spencer Pratt on No Jumper debating the issues, you know what I mean?

No, no East Side Rag, no LA material, none of this cool upper crust shit. I want them— Karen Bass, 1-900-Rugrat, and, um, I want them at the Whole Lotta Cough Syrup store on Melrose fucking having it out. Because this is— they're not actually getting to the— they're not get— the people I don't feel like they're touching the people, you know what I mean? I don't feel like they're touching the people. It's all still— Speaker B: Spencer is. Spencer had a barbecue in South Central like 3 days ago. Wow. Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: This is him posted up at the cookout, just building. Okay. Speaker A: Like, that's impressive. That's, that's one second. Speaker B: Bass is over at Great White having her third fucking chai, her third iced chai. Speaker A: Actually, no, the pizza is good, but do you guys have gluten-free options, or is this all— is this the whole menu that I'm seeing right now? Speaker B: Nithya is doing the cauliflower crust. Spencer's over here saying, let me— what'd you put in? What'd you put in this mac salad, bro? Speaker A: Oh goodness gracious, this is spicy.

Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna get— can Heidi have a plate? I'm just kidding. She got a plate. Speaker A: No, Heidi doesn't eat. Come on now, you can't— First Lady of Los Angeles, that the first thing you gotta do is get the little shot. Come on now. Speaker B: I said let me get a plate, uh, surgically installed into my cheekbones. Speaker A: Yeah, I don't, I don't know how this is gonna go. This is— but I mean, Karen Bass is, is winning considerably. So in the— in the— Speaker B: she is, she is.

But it'll be a— it'll be a debate between two people. So there's three people who are in the lead, and then in June they'll do, you know, they'll do the preliminary thing, and then it turns into the top two regardless of, of what, uh, you know, Democrat, Republican, or whatever. So it looks like Raw Man is, is going to be left in the dust, and then by the time November comes around, Spencer could easily you know, change those poll numbers and flip it. Speaker A: What I do like about— what I also— what I do like about Spencer is that his idea of, of, you know, dressing up is he wore like a suit with Vans, which is the most California guy thing.

I was like, you know what, I respect this because this, this speaks to his constituents. Speaker A: What I do like about— what I also— what I do like about Spencer is that his idea of, of, you know, dressing up is he wore like a suit with Vans, which is the most California guy thing. I was like, you know what, I respect this because this, this speaks to his constituents. Speaker B: He's dressing exactly what the people who are about to vote him into office wear when it's time to go to a Dodgeball game, a funeral, Costco, whatever it is.

Speaker A: Wearing all black Vans, old schools with a suit and thinking that that passes as a dress shoe. Speaker B: It does. Speaker A: Is the most California. Speaker B: That's like you evacuated your home because of the Garden Grove chemical fire. You, that's what you wear. That's what you wear to your kid's graduation. Speaker A: No, no, I know, bro. I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. I'm giving him props. I'm serious. That is literally like him putting on a tie would be crazy. It's like, dude, you can't— no, this is— no, no, this is it, bro.

You have to dress like you're going to the weenie roast. That's, that's California. That's our— that's the culture of California. You have to respect that. I, I, look, I like it. I think it's cool. I mean, I, I want him to lose, obviously, because he's dumb as a rock. But I think that also, to be fair, I want to, I want to be honest, we were approached by having Spencer Pratt on this podcast. Of course I did my best effort and they, uh, they just said maybe not this time after they approached me.

So I want to be— I want to be clear about that. I, I would not— I would of course give him a platform to speak, much like Zoran Momdani, who we gave a platform to speak and he rescheduled and chose to do some other podcasts instead. You know what that says to me, Jason? Yeah, you know what that says to me? Scared. Speaker B: Yeah, afraid of being, uh, asked the tough questions. Speaker A: Exactly. You don't— Speaker B: easy way out. Speaker A: Yeah, you want to take the easy way out.

You don't want to answer any of these hard questions. You don't want to go toe-to-toe with real political pundits, you know what I mean? You'll go on CNN, you'll go on MSNBC, you'll go talk to Sam Fragoso or whatever, but you don't want to come on How Long Gone and talk about, you know, what they're selling at your local grocery store. You know what I mean? That, that— if I find it really interesting, the price of indica is too damn high. Yeah, these politicians are scared of us. We, you know, we want to talk to Spencer Pratt about how many pull-ups he can do, and he's running scared.

And I just think that's it. You go— you know what, they— you know where they don't ask the hard questions, Jason? At the barbecue in South Central. They're not asking any hard questions over there. Speaker B: They ask questions like, did you eat? How's parking? Speaker A: They're asking questions like, who is this? Is mainly— Speaker B: What time's the game on? Is it 5? Is that Pacific or is it Pacific time or it's 5? All right. Speaker A: The hardest line of questioning is definitely happening over there. But we see— I also want to talk about Stephen Colbert, RIP.

His reign of terror is finally over. And I saw some interesting facts going on. Online, which was pretty— honestly, I, I— this is stuff I kind of know, but I, I think when I'm seeing it laid out, the budget for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert was $100 million per year. It had a full-time staff of 200 people and was reaching only 2.7 million viewers on average, uh, on average, an average night during the final quarter on there. Speaker B: So $100 million per year. Speaker A: Colbert was the most watched late night host.

Jimmy Kimmel has a linear audience of 2 million, while Jimmy Fallon draws 1.3 million. John Stewart on The Daily Show reaches 900,000 to 1 million, which more than doubles the 400K that, that watched when Trevor Noah was a host. So Trevor Noah, shittiest late night host of all time, which is an eye-opening, not total surprise. Um, Kimmel earns $16 million, Fallon earns $16 million, Stewart makes $25 million. How does John Stewart with the lowest rated show make $25 million a year? Speaker B: So $100 million per year. Speaker A: Colbert was the most watched late night host.

Jimmy Kimmel has a linear audience of 2 million, while Jimmy Fallon draws 1.3 million. John Stewart on The Daily Show reaches 900,000 to 1 million, which more than doubles the 400K that, that watched when Trevor Noah was a host. So Trevor Noah, shittiest late night host of all time, which is an eye-opening, not total surprise. Um, Kimmel earns $16 million, Fallon earns $16 million, Stewart makes $25 million. How does John Stewart with the lowest rated show make $25 million a year? Speaker B: I think everything was going well for a while and then You know, we all realized— I mean, I just looked up, you know, other TV shows with a $100 million annual budget.

Um, this— it's an older show, but, you know, HBO's Westworld, Amazon Prime's The Boys Season 1 was $100 million. And these are shows that are, you know, not number one in their time zone, like number one show period on television. Speaker A: Also, it ain't a guy sitting in a studio, do you know what I mean? This— these are like giant productions. I'm not I'm not here to pocket watch. Speaker B: It's not 37 neckbeards writing, you know, I'm not here to pocket watch. Speaker A: I'm not trying to go fucking Matt Bellany mode.

I'm not, I'm just, I'm just like, wow, when you see it lined up like that and the, the actual economics of it, you're like, this really does not make sense. And it's really tough to argue. I mean, the meme that the AI meme that Donald Trump posted is unfortunately one of the greatest things I've ever seen. Speaker B: So of him throwing, Colbert in the dumpster. Speaker B: So of him throwing, Colbert in the dumpster. Speaker A: Dude, it's just, it's so, it's unbelievable. Speaker B: To go back to Spencer Pratt, everyone was like, oh, Spencer Pratt, he's becoming the, you know, he's taking Trump's playbook and he's going to use that for, you know, the LA race, not for the country.

So he's in Trump's nachos in terms of the style of it. And then he's like, oh, he's making AI videos and images the way Trump is doing it. And now I think that Spencer has become the AI video person. Like, that's how he's truly going to win is because he makes dope videos that are fun to watch with awesome soundtracks that just really hit you. And I think Trump is like, fuck, I got to start stepping my game up because Spencer's on my tail. So I think Trump is being influenced by Spencer already, and we're months away from him even, you know, knowing if he's going to make it in office.

Speaker A: This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. Speaker B: A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do?

Speaker A: 3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points, that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. Speaker B: A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Speaker A: 3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points, that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do.

That's just a guess. Speaker B: The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Speaker A: Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, at, uh, stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch on YouTube. It's 3 times a week. And, and who couldn't use more news, you know, especially, especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it, give it Give it a listen.

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And that's what I think, that's what's so funny is that like it has nothing to do with outrage, has nothing to do— it's people just don't watch it because they don't give a shit. And I think that's what— and you can chalk that up to a million different reasons, of course, like, whoa, TikTok, streaming, blah blah, you know, whatever. But I mean, to make those guys losing corporations millions of dollars into a cause is very strange to me because I think it's like, it's easy to blame the president because he's an idiot and he's a villain and he's loud about it.

But like, I'm pretty sure it's a numbers issue. I, I don't think that it's— I think we can make anything political we want to, but it sounds to me like you're losing us so much money and there's no upside. At a certain point, we, we are a business. And I know that everybody that listens to this podcast hates businesses and wants them all to fail, um, but you know, Sometimes you gotta let people do the work and keep the lights on in their house. It doesn't make sense to me. Speaker B: When we had the mon— and it sucks for all these people who thought that this was gonna be a viable career option for them where they can just go get hired by a TV show and work there.

But then you're like, oh, I'm on a show and you know, it's an Apple show or it's an Amazon show. These shows that are owned by, you know, the richest people in the world, the biggest companies in the world. And you go and you're like, damn, I finally made it. And the writer's room is Trader Joe's snacks. And you know, we ain't got the Spindrift anymore. We got, you know, and it's just, you know, the working conditions are better on the fucking Adam Friedland Show or whatever than they are for, you know, a television show that's on a network that's worth tens of billions of dollars.

Speaker A: I mean, we both grew up watching late night to some extent, you know what I mean? Or at least the, you know, it was, it was still a thing that made news. And now the only news it makes is when, you know, Jimmy Kimmel's crying about something or Stephen Colbert's making me uncomfortable dancing with David Byrne in the lamest possible display that one could ever see. And I'm just like, man, what about if you just came out and were funny? Like, I don't know, I just— I'm like, if you just come out and tell a good monologue and you have guests and the musical guest is good, like, I don't know, that— if that doesn't work, then maybe, maybe we're in trouble.

Because that to me is a, is a great— the way that is supposed to work is great and did for a really long time. Yeah, you know, it did. It worked forever. Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean I mean, everything kind of comes and goes and it's like a car that's a stick, manual transmission stick shift car. At some point when they're like, oh, we're not going to sell those anymore and we're not going to use those anymore. When we were kids in the '80s and '90s, when they phased them out, it seems like an insane thought at the time.

But now you're like, yeah, why would you ever drive a manual transmission when you can just do it this way? Why would you ever hire 3,000 people to make a TV show that gets, you know, less reviews, makes less money than, you know, Fire Denver or whatever it is that they just shit out. Fire, you know, Denver Fire is what's paying the salaries of all these guys to write, you know, little— definitely quips about the, uh, the White House Speaker's outfit or something like that. You know, at a certain point they're like, well, fucking Hassan Piker is over here getting more eyeballs than Stephen Colbert, and it's just him turning a button on in his bedroom and hanging out with, you know, his dog and a porn star.

Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean I mean, everything kind of comes and goes and it's like a car that's a stick, manual transmission stick shift car. At some point when they're like, oh, we're not going to sell those anymore and we're not going to use those anymore. When we were kids in the '80s and '90s, when they phased them out, it seems like an insane thought at the time. But now you're like, yeah, why would you ever drive a manual transmission when you can just do it this way? Why would you ever hire 3,000 people to make a TV show that gets, you know, less reviews, makes less money than, you know, Fire Denver or whatever it is that they just shit out.

Fire, you know, Denver Fire is what's paying the salaries of all these guys to write, you know, little— definitely quips about the, uh, the White House Speaker's outfit or something like that. You know, at a certain point they're like, well, fucking Hassan Piker is over here getting more eyeballs than Stephen Colbert, and it's just him turning a button on in his bedroom and hanging out with, you know, his dog and a porn star. Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, nothing I'd rather do more than watch Hassan Piker scroll the Essence sale for 2 hours, you know.

I'd rather watch that than— now, I mean, I do think it's— Speaker B: I'd like to see what Trump thinks about Hassan Piker once he gets a good look at those thunderous thighs, because maybe he would He would reverse the federal subpoena while the problem is thrown on Big Pike. Speaker A: The problem is Hasan Piker's Issey Miyake shorts don't grip quite as tight as Jackson's. That's the problem. Hasan's wearing quote unquote big shorts, which are popular this summer. You know, very popular this summer. Speaker A: The problem is Hasan Piker's Issey Miyake shorts don't grip quite as tight as Jackson's.

That's the problem. Hasan's wearing quote unquote big shorts, which are popular this summer. You know, very popular this summer. Speaker B: Hasan's on the red carpet dressed like Ray. Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely, definitely. Speaker B: Hasan Piker is definitely in Naomi Osaka's fucking place. Straight in terms of wardrobe. Speaker A: Oh, 100%. Speaker B: Nothing— Speaker A: there's nothing worse than a man in a big pair of fucking shorts. I don't— I know it's a thing. Speaker B: They need to do a reverse Queer Eye on Hasan Piker.

They need, they need like 7 gay guys to go into his closet and be like, okay, we have to throw all the Vivienne Westwood blouses away. What if you wore— Speaker A: there's a picture of a t-shirt, there's a picture of him walking his dog and he's wearing like white Vans and regular shorts and a Carhartt long sleeve shirt, and people are like, oh my God, this is it. Speaker B: Exactly. Speaker A: I'm like, yeah dude, he's— he can, he can look straight if he do. He just wants to wear little jewelry all the time.

I don't know, because I went to— I, I went to— I went to Sekko in Silver Lake, um, because my friend John Sunyer was visiting from London. He was staying down the street and he could walk there. And you and I, we were going to Quarter Sheets after, so it was like it made sense, you know, to meet him there. Speaker B: Nice, great little East Side bang bang. Speaker A: He had a few pints, I had some sparkling water that the guy had to go get from the restaurant next door.

But I was sitting there and I was like all the guys that work at this place are having sex every night of the week with a different chick. They're all wearing the worst outfits I've ever seen in my life, and it, it made me feel older than 99% of things make me feel. I was like, this guy, this guy's wearing jorts down to his knees with cowboy boots and a mullet and earrings and bracelets and ring and jewelry and rings and little tattoos and a, and a tank top under this.

I'm like, you look so stupid, but this is what works. And at some point I'm like, all right man, do you. I can't hate. What am I— how can I hate if it's working? It's working. These guys are hot too. That's the problem. Speaker B: They're good looking. You're like, and they, they don't look like they work out, but they have the physique of somebody who does. Speaker A: Exactly, exactly, exactly. These guys are not— they're not, they're not, um, the look feels so— I'm trying, you know, it feels like you're having to manicure that little mustache.

That doesn't grow like that. You're spending a lot of time in here. But these guys are pulling, they're making money. They probably have, you know, they're probably doing okay in their little whatever, their little side hustle selling vintage on the street on Sundays or whatever they do. Speaker B: My friend and I, we actually redo 4Runners like from like '93 to '97. Speaker A: No, it's cool. You can take it camping, like you can actually live in it if you need to. Speaker B: Well, I, I was actually, I had a, I had a little coffee lunch chat with somebody a couple, couple days ago and he is also involved with a wine bar that's kind of in that same zone, hipstery flavor, young people, but you see it at the coffee shop.

Everywhere. If I go to the coffee shop in my neighborhood, which is just Armenian guys, 7 Series, Beamers, fully blacked out windshield, the whole thing, you go in the coffee shop and every guy working there is wearing a crop top, big pants. They have little stick and poke tattoos. They look hot as straight guys, hot as gay guys. Yeah, that's real. Their hair looks like, you know, there's like salt and stone tonic, you know, on the neck and just like they're fully done up and they've infiltrated everywhere and they operate and act as if I don't need this job because I live at home or whatever.

My parents pay for something. This job is just like my audition to the world. This job is my editorial. Speaker A: No, that's true. I'm auditioning for the next big thing. I'm gonna get— I'm gonna get chose. Speaker B: And that's— it's a trope that LA service workers have had for decades, since before we've been alive, that, you know, there's no such thing as serious servers, waiters, bartenders, whatever, in LA, because everyone isn't taking their job seriously because they're just, oh, I'm not a— I'm not a server, I'm just waiting for Michael Mann to call me to be in Heat 2.

Speaker A: Not my guys at commissary in Burbank. Speaker B: Look, all those guys are in bands. Speaker A: You're right, all those guys are in bands that sound like Blink-182, but somehow they're nice and professional, and the— the— it gets But I know what you mean. I mean, the thing is, every time I experience one of those guys, I'm not disappointed with the service. And I don't mean sexually, I mean like they're, you know, like the service. Speaker B: They do a good job. Speaker A: Yeah, they're good at their job.

They're friendly. They're relatively— Speaker B: time to flip that, that iPad, uh, tip screen around. They don't look— they don't look at all— they don't make you feel weird at all. Speaker A: But, but it was just a funny thing where I was like, damn. And then I'm, you know, I'm walking down the street to get back to my car and it's just more of them everywhere. It's like a zombie apocalypse of these type of guys. And I'm I'm like, are they gonna come suck my blood and beat me up for not wearing jorts with fucking tabi loafer?

Am I safe here? Like, I don't feel safe. That's, that's the thing. They, they feel like they could attack me at any moment. Speaker B: No, I think what you have to do is imagine them— what, what, what, what's going to happen to them when they're our age? Because, you know, yeah, people would, would might look at us at 22. Yeah, you know, tatted up, parading down the boulevard and be like, oh, fuck, you know, what is this? Speaker A: Oh, we definitely look— so we definitely look stupid too. I think it's— I think us looking stupid our, our younger days.

I think the difference was we weren't— it like, now everywhere I look online, like, there's this awful girl on Twitter that tells guys how to dress, you know what I mean? And it's like she's telling them to dress like that. When I look at Instagram, it's guys telling other guys how to dress like that. When we looked stupid, we were just guessing with our eyes closed, you know what I mean? At least, at least we were, we were doing our best to look like some guy we'd seen in Heart Attack, you know what I mean?

It wasn't like, it wasn't, it wasn't like it was some like corny girl in Austin being like, you know what, you can actually do this for cheaper at Everlane or whatever it is. It doesn't— it doesn't— it's not like— that's the difference. It feels like a real choice, and it's a beast that's feeding itself, where I feel like we were just— we were making mistakes, but at least we were just fucking, you know, sticking our hand in the closet in the dark and trying. Speaker B: Yeah. And, and I guess back, back then it was very, you know, people were a lot more afraid of, of quote unquote looking too gay.

True. We had the metrosexual you know, which was sometimes used as a derogatory term, sometimes not. I think now everyone is sort of— since they are all auditioning for the role of their lifetime, they can't afford to not try and appeal to every demographic possible. So that's why everyone is just everything and nothing and all good, and I don't want to say anything bad about someone or do something that somebody could take a picture of me and ruin my career as the host of, you know, a singing competition. Speaker A: I just was— I mean, I just— it was unbelievable, really.

It was unbelievable. But I, you know, I was able to make it. I was able to make it out alive, and no one jumped me for wearing sambas or whatever, you know. I was able to bob and as it were. Speaker B: And these are people who, they also have the energy or the attitude that, you know, in addition to this not being a job that they want to do or care about because their band is about to get signed to Dirty Hit, it's more so like, "Oh, I'm here to do you guys a favor by looking this way."

Yeah. Like, "Don't really expect me to actually do the work. I'm not like—" like I'm not like a dishwasher or anything like that. And, and don't get mad if I like smoke or like vape on the job kind of thing. Or if somebody's like, well, what's good here? And you're like, dude, I like the— I like this one. I like this small plate. Speaker A: Which sardine is actually good? Is there one of these that is more filling? Speaker B: But then you go to New York over to Les Vaudors and you get a career server that just makes you feel like a small child nuzzling into their mother's teat.

For the first time. Speaker A: I mean, it is, it is a pretty major difference, I would say. I mean, you know, that being said, I'm, I'm not in LA. I'm going to places where the service is Air One, you know, so it's like, whatever. I— it doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter to me. Speaker B: The only service you do at Air One is, is yell at a guy to not give you $87 worth of kale. Speaker B: The only service you do at Air One is, is yell at a guy to not give you $87 worth of kale.

Speaker A: Less short ribs! Less short ribs! Speaker B: Yeah, that's it. Speaker A: That's my only— that's my only battle. I— look, I've been in— I've been front row. We talked about this a little bit when we were at dinner with Fred but that trip, that Satisfye Adidas trip I went on to Arizona, has become like this insane hotbed of arguing in running culture. Speaker B: It's torn the community apart, dude. Speaker A: Which is funny to me because as a not a member of running culture, I was just sort of like, oh, I don't know, I had fun, whatever.

But it's been this whole thing about like authenticity and how brands show up and this and that and this and that, and I'm just like like, unfortunately, it's a classic nerds get a life situation. Speaker B: Well, I think this comes for every sport where there's the rise of it, where suddenly, you know, some corporate money decides to jump into it. It's ironic because running is the oldest sport in the world. It's not like, oh, fuck, here comes the 7-Up money trying to fuck up, you know, inline skating vert or whatever.

It's, you know, these are, This is an established thing. So it is, it's strange to have like, bro, you can't take running from us. And like, like running is punk. Like you gotta keep it like running has been around for so long. Speaker A: Well, it's not even, they're not mad at Adidas. They're mad. They're like, this is stupid and this is not punk or whatever. You know what I mean? Speaker B: And I'm like, they're mad at the branding of it all. Speaker A: I'm like, look, the Circle Pit is not a good name.

I don't love that. But I do think that the, the, the guy, look, the guys that I know that work at Satisfied are heads that were at the same shows you and I were at, but in Europe. And I'm like, dude, what am I— what's the guy— how does he prove to you that he saw Earth Crisis in '97? And then I'm realizing that, like, you don't know who that is. Like, I don't think the people that are mad about this even understand what they're mad about, kind of. Speaker A: Well, it's not even, they're not mad at Adidas.

They're mad. They're like, this is stupid and this is not punk or whatever. You know what I mean? Speaker B: And I'm like, they're mad at the branding of it all. Speaker A: I'm like, look, the Circle Pit is not a good name. I don't love that. But I do think that the, the, the guy, look, the guys that I know that work at Satisfied are heads that were at the same shows you and I were at, but in Europe. And I'm like, dude, what am I— what's the guy— how does he prove to you that he saw Earth Crisis in '97?

And then I'm realizing that, like, you don't know who that is. Like, I don't think the people that are mad about this even understand what they're mad about, kind of. Speaker B: Speed listeners. Well, I'm like, if it's— Speaker A: what does authentic really mean? If this is his culture and he's paying Drain and One Step Closer more money than they usually get paid to play a show, that's pretty cool to me. Speaker B: I got that. That's like— Speaker A: I mean, I don't know. Speaker B: I got the answer because this, this type of thing has been happening for a long time for decades, you know, somebody who works at a brand or a magazine has the cool like underground rapper or the punk thing perform this thing and get them a little bag and it's cool.

And maybe you'll see like a little video of it on someone's, you know, vlog, some cool pics from it. And that's why it worked. I think the problem is once you have KPIs and deliverables and things that a producer person has decided that, yes, if I'm going to spend this much money on this, I need to have this much of a, you know, my ROI has to be arring. But you're— but I agree with you. So this event would have been great if it was just happening. But once you like— Yeah, once you have a drone, once you have a strategy for the clip rollout times and like the drone shot's going to be here and now we're going to have this interview where it's like, dude, what's your favorite top 5?

But you know, once that happens, then, then you start hearing high-pitched noises in your brain if you're cool. Speaker A: But that to me is like, that's the— I don't know, dude. That's like the world we live in. Been like, I don't know, that's, that's what everything is. I don't really— I think that's the thing is like, if you don't, if you don't go to shit like this, or to me it's like, I don't care what the rollout looks like. If it was like, if the band got paid and they normally wouldn't get paid that much and they were treated well, I don't know, like, what's the— who am I to fucking say?

Speaker B: I think that, you know, you don't want your little thing that you know about, you know, my cool underground hardcore band that only gets this many views a month and this many things and this running brand that I use to separate myself from my friends who are not cool. As soon as social media, you know, ad buy algorithms push that into everyone's face, now this cool thing that you love and protect is now known by everyone and you just lash out. You're like, oh, this is bullshit. Now my fucking dorky cousin knows about this.

Speaker A: The way— but it's, it's the— Speaker B: now I have to find a new independent running brand. Sorry. Speaker A: There's like a guy who's like dedicated to making memes about about it. Like, that's all, like, he has an intent, it's only about this, which is funny. And it's— and some of them are really funny, but it becomes to a point where I'm like, are you guys— like, they're reaching a psychosis level, you know what I mean? Where it's like, dude, it's not that serious. Like, it's an Adidas collaboration, they did this thing, they had some punk bands play.

Sure, maybe some of it was corny, maybe you didn't like it or whatever, but the way that people are mad is like something's diff— it's something weird. Speaker B: It's like when, when, like, a news thing comes out and back in the day they'd do like one of those YouTube things where they make it an autotune wrong. You're like, this shit spent like, like 2 weeks making this. Yeah, like, what? Maybe we need a job. Maybe we need different priorities. Speaker B: It's like when, when, like, a news thing comes out and back in the day they'd do like one of those YouTube things where they make it an autotune wrong.

You're like, this shit spent like, like 2 weeks making this. Yeah, like, what? Maybe we need a job. Maybe we need different priorities. Speaker A: We hate on things. All we do is hate on things. And I see how you could think this is corny or say it's corny or whatever, but after like a week of like discourse, it's like, dude, what are we talking about? Like, what are we— like, dude, who— you either there, you weren't, you liked it or you didn't. Like, you can't let— this is keeping somebody up at night, right?

Like, you got to run 100 miles this week, bro. You need your You know what I mean? You can't be doing this. You can't be doing this, bro. Speaker B: We gotta, we gotta move on. Speaker A: I'm just a little, honestly, I was like shocked cuz I mean, I was like, oh, some of this is not for me, but like I was there and it was fun and everybody's cool. Like it wasn't like big of a deal to me. But also I guess I understand, I don't know, I at least understand hardcore and what was happening as far as that goes.

But like, that's not the issue. The issue is people like, this is so corny. This is the worst thing I've ever seen. And it's like, oh, you've never been to a brand activation. You know what I mean? Speaker B: Cause no, I haven't. If you think this is, if you think this is bad, then you should really check out some stuff that happens every single day. I'm usually too ugly to be invited to those things. So yeah, this is a little tough. Speaker A: And it's coming for— yeah, it comes for every industry.

I mean, no industry is— I mean, it's like, that's, that's what we do now. This is how brands spend money. This is how we experience things. Like it's, it's for better or worse. That's just where we're at culturally. Speaker B: Yeah. Let's, let's do some quiet luxury versions of brand activations for these cool, interesting, emerging independent-ish brands. We want to protect them. We don't want to, you know. Speaker B: Yeah. Let's, let's do some quiet luxury versions of brand activations for these cool, interesting, emerging independent-ish brands. We want to protect them.

We don't want to, you know. Speaker A: But what's interesting about this particular case, and I can't speak for everyone. But there was no— no one asked me to do anything. There's no story to be written, there's no picture to post, nothing. It was just like, yeah, come hang out. Speaker B: And just like when you go to the airport, they don't even make you take your passport anymore because they're scanning you with the fucking retinal 3D shit. Speaker A: It's like, you own my image. Speaker B: Do you need me to post anything on the store?

Not even stories? And they're like, no, you're good, trust me, you're good. And then you wake up the next morning, you got all these shit posted on your grid. They use Claude to— how'd you get my blood type, bro? Speaker A: That's crazy. I didn't tell you anything about what kind of blood I got. I don't— I didn't tell you nothing about that. Speaker B: They're like, hey Chris, tell your sister's kids I said what up. What the fuck? How do you even know that? Speaker A: Adidas, what size? What size are your nieces?

We'll get them some products. Speaker B: Do they still go to, uh, Shortyville Elementary? Yeah, that's what I thought so. Speaker A: Yeah, no, we don't need your address, we'll send everything over. Um, yeah, but the other, the other thing that's breaking as of yesterday, there's a big New Yorker story about strangers Strangers. Um, and now it's saying that, you know, that there's some lies or some things were omitted from the story. And, you know, it's like he was giving her $600K a year in child support. Speaker B: When you say Strangers, you mean the book?

The book, the Bellbird book. Yeah, because I was like, Stranger Things, what you talking about? Speaker A: That is a hit. And now, you know, there's a New Yorker story that's saying, you know, he was giving her— the ex-husband was giving her $600,000 a year in child support until the kids are 22. He had— she had you know, private beach key on Martha's Vineyard worth $450,000. Speaker B: When you say Strangers, you mean the book? The book, the Bellbird book. Yeah, because I was like, Stranger Things, what you talking about?

Speaker A: That is a hit. And now, you know, there's a New Yorker story that's saying, you know, he was giving her— the ex-husband was giving her $600,000 a year in child support until the kids are 22. He had— she had you know, private beach key on Martha's Vineyard worth $450,000. Speaker B: Yeah, just sounds just like Pete Davidson's check. Speaker A: Basic. But my thing with that is like, I'm sure all of this is true and it is crazy the publisher didn't look into this stuff before they, they did it.

But also like, it— I don't know, it doesn't make the book any less good to me. Like, I don't care. Like, the book was so good. Like, if some of that is untrue after I read it and enjoyed it, like, I don't necessarily care. Yeah. I think people just really love a gotcha. Speaker B: I still enjoyed Santa Claus knowing now that he's not real. Speaker A: Nah, I'm just a kid. It was dope. I'm just sort of like, guys, when people tell— I don't know, I'm just like, if the story is good and a few things aren't right, I can live with that if it was that enjoyable.

But I guess people aren't okay with this, you know? They really want everything to be perfectly factually correct in a book that's not about them, you know? Speaker B: Yeah, everyone has their line of where it's too far, and I, I think you and I are on the same page, no pun intended, when, you know, a recounting of actual events has, you know, 10 to 15%, a little zhuzh up on some of the deets. If it's a— I mean, if it makes the story better. And I think some people are like, 15%, that's insane.

You know what I mean? Some people, some people like, hey, maybe I'll do— I'm gonna get a little Botox, put on— get my brows down. They're like, you fucking fake cunt, you fucking liar, you bitch. Speaker A: But I mean, yeah, I I think, but I also think the money part, I mean, because she's obviously rich and that's part of the story, like she comes from a lineage, but I feel like the book was more about like the abruptness that he left her and the surprise. I don't— the money part is, is part of it, but that wasn't like the crux of the book to me.

Like, that is not the— that's the sexy part in some ways. Speaker B: So it's like, he left me high and fucking dry with only $600,000 a month. Speaker A: But she wasn't really— I don't know, I don't know, maybe I'm remembering it wrong. She never— Speaker B: she didn't need the money. She just never said— Speaker A: she just never said she was destitute. Like, that's not— that wasn't the, the story. That was not part of the— Speaker B: the story was more like emotionally destitute. Exactly. Speaker A: But I mean, the story was more like, I came home one day and this guy was like, I'm leaving, and that was it.

And, and it was— we'd been together 20 years and had these kids. Like, obviously the money plays a part in it because that— the money plays a part in everything in our lives. But that wasn't the— to me, that wasn't the main takeaway from the book. No, I agree. Speaker B: And so I guess, I guess Belle Burden's man was like you guys don't know what it's like being married to Belle Burden. Well, the best last name is that name for a reason, y'all. Speaker A: The best part about the husband— there's a part where she, like, when they're getting divorced, where she figures out how rich he is because she didn't really deal with the finances, and it's fucked up.

It's like a lot of money. It's sick. She's like, yeah, and then I was looking at the papers, it was like, yo, what, bro? You made how much money? Like, what? I didn't take care of the bills. Speaker B: Shorty sees different papers than other people. Yeah, yeah. But you don't, you don't become a millionaire by spending all your money. You become a millionaire by putting all of, uh, your wife's properties in your name. Speaker B: Shorty sees different papers than other people. Yeah, yeah. But you don't, you don't become a millionaire by spending all your money.

You become a millionaire by putting all of, uh, your wife's properties in your name. Speaker A: Exactly. Everybody knows that move. Everybody knows that move. I know it's both our house. Speaker B: We just keep it at my house. Speaker A: No, no, no, no. That's my PlayStation. We just share it. It goes back and forth. Like I bought that shit. That's my PlayStation. Yeah. Speaker B: You're welcome. Oh shit. So your, your boy Drake, now that we've had enough time to sort of process and sift through his, his breadth of work.

Work. Some lyrics are popping up that I'm— and people are enjoying. One of them from the song, "Goose and the Juice." Do you know that, what that means? Speaker A: I, I don't. I have no idea what that is. Speaker B: In the juice, meaning— is it a Joe and the Juice reference? I hope it refers to drink— uh, it refers to drinking Grey Goose vodka to gain emotional juice, AKA courage and openness. Okay. Acquired for a late-night alcohol-fueled conversation. Speaker A: Great. The only kind he has. Speaker B: Okay, so he's juiced up on the goose, and this line is quintessential Drake pettiness that only a toxic gay guy like Drake could say.

The venue that your wedding is at has some shady reviews. I saw this. So he's saying that to a woman that has moved on, is remarried to another man, the wedding has happened, and now he's saying like, oh, you're a little— he's venue checking. Speaker A: Your little venue. I saw your little venue and it looked like— I heard people saying it was, it was crap. I think it's funny. I think this is great stuff. Speaker B: That's the botanist you went with? Speaker A: Wow. This is the great— this is great stuff.

This is why we need Drake. This is hilarious. This is so good. Speaker B: Because if it is true that he is like a criminal kingpin and, you know, controls a vast gang network throughout the Pacific, through the Great Northeast, and he's taking the time to make songs that are like little like club bops for the girlies. Where he's like talking, talking shit about your girl's wedding venue. Like, get you a man who can do everything. I'm saying, I'm saying everything but look straight. But you know, I've seen a few.

Speaker A: I mean, look, I gotta say, people, the thing where he went in the car with the dad who sings with the daughter after school every day, that was— that touched me, man. That, that really— I was like, damn, this is so smart and so cool. And every comment is like, oh hell no, let that pedo next to my— I'm like, you guys, you guys do not like give me a fuck. That you see, he touched her arm. He touched her arm. Like, he touched her arm because he— she didn't know he was in the back seat.

And he like, what are you talking about? Like, you guys are crazy. Speaker B: What'd I say? What? In the chat I said, you know, he got the daughter's snap after they— Speaker A: I mean, that's funny because I— Speaker B: it's so crazy. But what's your snap? Speaker A: That's funny because you're saying it. These people are dead ass serious. These people are dead ass serious. I'm like, like, guys, this, this guy, this guy and his daughter have sung Drake songs after school for like 2 years. Drake showed up, surprised.

They sing the N-word too? No, they don't actually. She's good about that. They, they, they, they get the— they— he bought them a brand new Escalade. Speaker A: I mean, that's funny because I— Speaker B: it's so crazy. But what's your snap? Speaker A: That's funny because you're saying it. These people are dead ass serious. These people are dead ass serious. I'm like, like, guys, this, this guy, this guy and his daughter have sung Drake songs after school for like 2 years. Drake showed up, surprised. They sing the N-word too?

No, they don't actually. She's good about that. They, they, they, they get the— they— he bought them a brand new Escalade. Speaker B: Drake's not even allowed to say it. Speaker A: Yeah, he brought them a brand new Escalade and showed up and did the thing with them. That's just, that's, that's just funny. And he looks happy. I'm just like, guys, this is— you gotta stop, man. Speaker B: Like, and let's— and to, to circle the square, let's, let's compare that to Travis Kelce you know, pulling a warm shitty beer out of his pocket and then, you know, stopping the NBA Finals so everyone can look at him drink a beer.

Speaker A: Like, I'm like, dude, or it's like, you know why Kendrick Lamar can't do that? Because nobody sings his songs. Because nobody's singing his— nobody's— no kids like his music. Nobody likes his music. No, nobody's singing along. Speaker B: So, so Taylor and Drake, they're sort of the same person. So in order for Drake to —whatever—rehabilitate his image from being a pedophile, he needs to get himself whatever the equivalent of a Travis Kelce is. He needs to get a dumb chick. He needs to put a ring on Sexyy Red to really endear him to the community.

Speaker A: I don't think that's out of the question. I think we're going to look back on that, the pedophile thing, and be like, this was one of the dumbest things. Like, that is— it's just so— it's so insane what that word means and now what people think it means and how it gets thrown around. Like that. It's actually criminal what Kendrick Lamar did to that word and its meaning, because now people don't actually know what it means. Speaker A: I don't think that's out of the question. I think we're going to look back on that, the pedophile thing, and be like, this was one of the dumbest things.

Like, that is— it's just so— it's so insane what that word means and now what people think it means and how it gets thrown around. Like that. It's actually criminal what Kendrick Lamar did to that word and its meaning, because now people don't actually know what it means. Speaker B: Because it's only for like little kids, not for like teens, like how Drake is into it. Exactly. Speaker A: That's exactly what I'm trying to say. And I'm saying this is just— we got this all fucked up. This is— we got this all fucked up.

I'm saying Kendrick Lamar, but I'm saying— Speaker B: I think I stole that line from a book called Off Season. Speaker A: Nobody sings Kendrick Lamar songs. No, no kid. No, no Kendrick Lamar songs don't bring anybody joy. And that's the problem. You know what I mean? That's the, that's the problem. And if they do bring them joy, it's a barber shop full of dusty old men, and that's just not— Speaker B: nobody wants that. Nobody wants that. I just Googled, I asked who the, the female versions of Travis Kelce are, you know, for somebody for, for Drake to date.

It's gonna be, it's gonna be a WNBA player. Speaker A: We got Angie Reese up top. Speaker B: I knew it, knew it. Okay, we got Meg Thee Stallion. Oh, that's a pretty— Speaker A: but she already dated Klay and she, she had the game. I think she's out of the game right now. Speaker B: He couldn't do that. Lori Harvey. Speaker A: Lori Harvey's dated— Lori Harvey belongs to the game, so that's very possible. Teyana Tayler. Okay. She's clean. Speaker B: She's divorced. Yeah. If, if Drake and Teyana Taylor dated, I think that would complete everything because she would cuck the fuck out of him.

She would get him on the straight and on the straight path. Speaker B: She's divorced. Yeah. If, if Drake and Teyana Taylor dated, I think that would complete everything because she would cuck the fuck out of him. She would get him on the straight and on the straight path. Speaker A: Stop fucking around. Imagine her abs talking to his abs. Oh man. Speaker B: Damn. That's an ab off I don't want to have. The jokes don't stop between those two. Yeah. Drake, start, start dating Teyana Taylor. Teyana Taylor, let Drake into your life and rehabilitate this broken man into, into the person that we need him to be.

Speaker A: It's— I, I could say this is not a bad idea, dude. This is really not a bad idea. Speaker B: I think it's working because we're all a little annoyed by Teyana Taylor right now too, because she, she just won't stop, won't stop doing everything. Speaker A: She really does do everything, but that's fine. That people go through phases. Speaker B: I'm sure it'll be quiet the night of awards ceremony speeches. Every, every award show gets her. Um, and shout out to lastly this podcaster named Stephen Bartlett who's going viral because he said a few glasses of wine ruined the next 3 days of life and quote, I got worse sleep.

My dopamine system was, and cortisol is messed up and I podcasted worse. Speaker A: That's why men shouldn't drink wine. That happened to you the other night too. Remember that happened? Speaker B: This literally happened. Men should not drink wine, of course. But also if you, if your podcasting gets worse when you're hungover, you're a fucking bitch. Speaker A: That's true. But men should drink. What should men drink? Beer and vodka and tequila. Tequila is a little feminine in my opinion. Speaker B: I mean, look at, uh, our biggest podcast, you know, our fucking Shane Gillises of the world.

These guys podcasting, selling out stadiums. He goes on his podcast, shows a testicle shooting out of his fucking chubby shorts, and he's hungover as fuck, and he's, he's making $3 million a week doing his fucking podcast. Speaker A: That's true. But men should drink. What should men drink? Beer and vodka and tequila. Tequila is a little feminine in my opinion. Speaker B: I mean, look at, uh, our biggest podcast, you know, our fucking Shane Gillises of the world. These guys podcasting, selling out stadiums. He goes on his podcast, shows a testicle shooting out of his fucking chubby shorts, and he's hungover as fuck, and he's, he's making $3 million a week doing his fucking podcast.

Speaker A: Hey, he's hungover from beer and shots. Yes, he is not— there is no way that Shane Gillis is like, oh, do you have any bubbly reds? Speaker B: He's hungover because he drank too many beers the night before when he sold out where, you know, a 70,000-person football stadium. I'm telling you, that's the problem. Speaker A: We let men— men got too into— this is actually something we gotta unpack. We don't have time today. Speaker B: This is a guy, and this is a guy who he's letting his Whoop strap control his life.

Speaker A: You guys got too much data. You're drinking wine. You're doing shit that men shouldn't do. Data is not for us, honestly, unless it— unless it's a— unless it's making you money. Like, all this stuff— I mean, you heard about the guy that got caught cheating because a chick was weighing herself on his smart scale? Speaker B: Oh shit, who the fuck is 127.3? Speaker A: That's literally— that's literally what happened. That's literally what happened. That's literally what happened. Speaker B: Ah, that's amazing. That's what I'm saying, bro. Speaker A: This smart technology, this ain't for men.

Look what it's doing to you. Look what it's doing to us. Speaker B: Yeah, if you want to track all this shit, this is the same type of person who's like, oh, I'm gonna get COVID to us, you know. Speaker A: That's literally— that's literally what happened. That's literally what happened. That's literally what happened. Speaker B: Ah, that's amazing. That's what I'm saying, bro. Speaker A: This smart technology, this ain't for men. Look what it's doing to you. Look what it's doing to us. Speaker B: Yeah, if you want to track all this shit, this is the same type of person who's like, oh, I'm gonna get COVID to us, you know.

Speaker A: I really believe this, and I've said this before, but if you look at a sleep score and it's bad but you feel good, then you decide that you feel bad because the sleep— it's like, that's psycho, that's insane. You can't live like that. You cannot be tagged, you cannot be like tethered to the data in that way. It just seems so unhealthy to me. Speaker B: It seems so crazy. No, I've— when I've tracked my sleep the few times I did, and it's like, oh, you got a really bad sleep score, you wake up and you're like, today is going to fucking suck.

Yeah, you don't even decide for yourself if you feel bad or not. Speaker A: It doesn't, that doesn't work for me. That doesn't work for me. Speaker B: It's everything you do bad. So that's, yeah, don't look at it. Just keep doing drugs. Speaker A: Nobody's deciding if I, I'm the only one deciding if I feel like shit or not. Okay. I'm not going to let data influence that myself. I'm not going to let data influence. Speaker B: Which is, and, and we're going to get off now and we're going to watch the enhanced games where they're doing cool stuff, but unfortunately it is a little too data driven.

It is data driven. So it is getting a little too Bryan Johnson-y because we just want to see fucking roided out people and, you know, chicks on Adderall just destroying world records. That's what we want. We don't want Bryan Johnson being like, oh, his oxygen O2 blood cortisol levels are at 7.4. This is unprecedented. Speaker A: I want a guy that looks like a boulder flipping over tires. That's what I— I don't want to see. I don't want to see any of that shit, dude. Take that oxygen. Speaker A: I want a guy that looks like a boulder flipping over tires.

That's what I— I don't want to see. I don't want to see any of that shit, dude. Take that oxygen. Speaker B: You see a guy fighting a car and winning. I don't want to know that shit. Speaker A: Take that shit somewhere else, bro. Bro, take all that data somewhere else. All right, How Long Gone, thank you for listening. We'll be back next week, uh, with even more podcasts, don't you worry. Uh, a new episode of How Long Gone today is in the pipes and we'll be with you soon.

Speaker B: It's going to be our Eyes Wide Shut. I think that's changed the game. Speaker A: I think that's it, TJ. I think that's it. I get to go in the rain, get to go to a birthday dinner tonight at Mission Chinese. I'm having a big Sunday. Speaker B: Happy birthday, Alex. Happy birthday, Alex. I love you. Happy birthday, Alex. The first— the first lady of How Long— the first lady of Gone Golly. Speaker A: All right, I'll send over the total of birthday spend just so we can compare.

All right, love you guys. Speaker B: Uh, have fun. I'm going to, uh, I'm gonna watch sports and smoke some weed today, and then, you know, maybe we'll order some Goop. Who knows? Have fun with your whole little thing though. Speaker A: Whole little thing. Spring Summer 26, when the world is gonna end, no hope for anything. Yeah, we're walking on a runway that goes straight to hell. Nothing's gonna save us, not music, fashion, or film. It's spring, summer, 26, when the world is gonna end, no hope for anything. Speaker B: Yeah, we're walking on a runway that goes straight to hell, I know.

Speaker B: Yeah, we're walking on a runway that goes straight to hell, I know.