908. - Cazzie David

Speaker A: All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it 3 times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? Speaker B: We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

Speaker A: All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Bitch, it's me, Chris Black. New York City, looking at this fucking snow. Snow melting, them jeans was good. Speaker B: Snow melting, yeah, um, just a little bit of a dreary morning here in LA, a little— some clouds, some rains. Had to, had to do my dog walk extra early so I didn't get drenched upon. Speaker A: I hate to hear it. Speaker B: But otherwise, you know, just checking the news.

Pimp down, we got Andrew. Andrew's down, right? Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, they said let the corgis eat him, which I thought was— it's just, it's a real bummer to be like— Speaker B: let the corgis limb from limb. Speaker A: Like, it's— it must be a bummer to be— basically every newscast is referring to him as former Prince, you know. And then they got it, and they got him with the government after that. Yeah. Whereas before he was— he was— he was just Prince Andrew. Now it's Andrew blah blah blah.

It's a hyphenated, obviously, like British, you know. Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, they said let the corgis eat him, which I thought was— it's just, it's a real bummer to be like— Speaker B: let the corgis limb from limb. Speaker A: Like, it's— it must be a bummer to be— basically every newscast is referring to him as former Prince, you know. And then they got it, and they got him with the government after that. Yeah. Whereas before he was— he was— he was just Prince Andrew. Now it's Andrew blah blah blah.

It's a hyphenated, obviously, like British, you know. Speaker B: So you're saying he went from— he went from civilized to civilianized. Speaker A: You hate to see it. You hate to fucking see it. Barber fit different in jail. You know what I mean? Barber fit different in jail. Speaker C: Barber. Speaker B: We're talking about the jacket, not a hairstylist. Yeah. Just to be clear, I'm assuming. Speaker A: Yeah. Barber fit different in that corduroy collar. Speaker B: Yeah. They're hosing him. They make him strip out of his Brioni suit.

They hose him down with some good British water, give him a good scrub-a-dub, and they throw him the barber. And he's like, I'm actually a large tall. And they're like, You're a triple XL. Sorry, King. That's— we don't get to pick the sizes here. And then he's going to be swimming in that barber, isn't he? Speaker A: He's going to be swimming. He's going to be swimming. Well, you know, he'll probably firm up in jail. Like, you know, as far as body goes, you know, hopefully he'll, you know, not that the British are known for their proclivity with exercise, but, you know, he might have to do a few sit-ups and push-ups.

Speaker B: He's only 66. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: So, you know, he's got the whole rest of his life ahead of him. Typically, you know, pimp down. Speaker B: He's only 66. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: So, you know, he's got the whole rest of his life ahead of him. Typically, you know, pimp down. Speaker A: Free the guys, look, you know, as they say. Well, I need— I mean, I'm just seeing all this chatter, the continued— now, now people are mad that GQ did a profile of Clavicular. Speaker B: Yeah, platforming this toxic twink.

Speaker A: Doing a profile on someone is not platforming them. That is not giving them the floor to say whatever they want. Like, this guy is a fucking idiot, who has nothing to say, but doing a story about him is not plat— that's two different things. Arguably, I would say platforming, bringing someone on a podcast is more platforming than I would say a research, you know, a edited story in a magazine. Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, bringing somebody on a podcast, you know, 100 times more platform. It's giving much more platformiana than a written story because you're giving a person a chance to, you know, endear themselves to the rest of the world with their charms despite being potentially a bad person and a complete idiot.

But I mean, I see, I see both sides. I see both sides. I don't. Speaker A: The job of the media is to report on what is going on. This is what is going on. It is, it is a symptom of where our society is. It is not any publication's fault that this guy exists and that he is popular. Like, what are you supposed to— what do you— what are we supposed to talk about? Speaker B: Well, I It seems to me like a lot of the lines are drawn based on what the story is, and there's sort of the three routes of, you know, I'm gonna do a puff piece about how awesome this guy is, I'm gonna do a hit piece about all the bad times he said all the bad things with timestamps, and then there's the one in the middle where it's like, I'm just reporting the news unbiased, this is the thing that's happening.

And I think when people get the unbiased, they get frustrated because they don't know where to put their, their thought process. They can't just be like They can't decide for themselves if this is good or bad or if they should like this thing or not. They prefer one or the other so they can kind of pile on and then we can actually have a battle. Speaker A: The job of the media is to report on what is going on. This is what is going on. It is, it is a symptom of where our society is.

It is not any publication's fault that this guy exists and that he is popular. Like, what are you supposed to— what do you— what are we supposed to talk about? Speaker B: Well, I It seems to me like a lot of the lines are drawn based on what the story is, and there's sort of the three routes of, you know, I'm gonna do a puff piece about how awesome this guy is, I'm gonna do a hit piece about all the bad times he said all the bad things with timestamps, and then there's the one in the middle where it's like, I'm just reporting the news unbiased, this is the thing that's happening.

And I think when people get the unbiased, they get frustrated because they don't know where to put their, their thought process. They can't just be like They can't decide for themselves if this is good or bad or if they should like this thing or not. They prefer one or the other so they can kind of pile on and then we can actually have a battle. Speaker A: Totally. But it's just, it's our, I guess what I'm saying is it's collectively our fault for this. Like we can't, I'm not placing blame on anyone because if you're tweeting negatively about this article, you're still talking about Clavicular.

If you're talking, you know what I mean? It all goes back. It all works in his favor. No matter how mad it makes you, if you're talking about it, online or off, that is more people going to figure out who this guy is and what he stands for. Is that— that's the true reality. I, I just don't think it's a— like, this guy is an idiot, and there's been many idiots before him, and there'll be many idiots after him that people want to talk to to try to see what makes them tick, because that is the job of the journalist, is to like, why is this so popular?

I want to try to understand what makes this guy, you know, do what he does and why people respond to it. Speaker B: Yeah, so, so I guess the The way it'd be is if you— if there's somebody in the world that you don't like, you just want them to go away and you don't want to give any air to breathe for this story. And then a lot of people who will virtue signal about how awful it is, they need something to be mad at. They need something to be upset about.

Speaker A: It's Orange Cheeto Man. It's Orange Cheeto Man shit. It's the same. It's the same kind of thing where it's like, dude, like there's plenty of stuff that happens every day that you can choose to ignore or choose to participate in. I don't know if we need to vilify the people telling you about it. Speaker B: Orange Cheeto Man could do things that affect our lives. No, of course. But I mean, Klav less so. Speaker A: Klav much less so. I just mean when people become obsessed with something like being wrong and that defines their— like, I'm like, I get it.

Like, it's bad. Like, this guy is an idiot. He's dumb and he will eventually die or go away. There's no question. But I don't think that— I guess I just don't think talking about it— I think I would— look, I would never want to talk about it again, but here we are. That's our job. But to some extent— Speaker B: yeah, but we're talking about it intellectually. Speaker A: But there is a— there is a point where it's like, I think that the— the cli— I mean, like, if we want these institutions to stay in business— maybe some of us don't, maybe everybody wants just Polymarket Substack and that's all we need— but like, they have to report on things that are popular so that people read them.

And it's also like The New York Times, for example, that story just was like, oh, this guy's just an idiot. But now my dad knows who this idiot is. You know, it's like, I don't think my dad never needs to know who Clavicular is. But, you know, thanks to the good people over the New York Times, he does. Speaker B: Maybe the big Clav in the New York Times is going to make him go away because the only people who really keep up with Clav and are interested in his goings-on watch him on live streams.

Are just, you know, people who listen to Red Scare or, you know, 9 to 19-year-old children, you know. Speaker A: I just don't think— I don't think any of this is doing him— I guess what I'm saying is I don't think any of this is doing him any favors. If anything else, it is making him— it is shining a light on his stupidity and how disengaged he actually is. And I would say that reflects back on us as a society being this interested in someone who offers so little. Because he's doing things that are, you know, bad.

Like, that's on us, bro. Like, we got to take the L on this one. We're part of the problem. Speaker B: Not me. Speaker A: Definitely you. You've been saying Jester maxing 40 times a day. No, that is— We got to get you a shot. Speaker B: That is false. That is false. I think people like— because we're in such a, you know, a childproofed world. Everyone is afraid to do anything, say anything. We don't want to go to the club and dance and be young, wild, and free because someone's going to post it on Snapchat or whatever.

So whenever we see somebody like Big Clavy just being a provocateur, saying whatever is on his mind, and watching him get away with it, watching him say the N-word in front of a Black person and nobody seems to care, and watching him, you know, just do all these transgressive acts, it's exciting. It's exciting and it's interesting to watch that happen. And I think I'm doing the opposite by being, you know, just a correct amount of transgressive. Just a little bit, you know, just a tiny bit. Speaker A: You know, you could work on your— Speaker B: you could work on your shoulders, but otherwise, yeah, I am working on my shoulders.

Thank you very much. Speaker A: I'm working on my fucking shoulders. I was working on my shoulders before Klav appeared. But yeah, look, fuck Klav. I don't— look, I would love to never talk about him again. I'd never hear about it again. But I don't think we can— I don't think we can blame journalism at large for his popularity. Or if you think that's lazy or boring, that's fine. But in that case, everything is lazy and boring. Like, I don't know. I don't, I don't know what is interesting. Speaker B: So, I mean, the only thing I gathered from this, as soon as Will Welch steps down, GQ starts posting this stuff, huh?

Interesting. Speaker A: I think, I think this Clavi story is probably in the works for a while. But yeah, yeah, I agree. I agree. Speaker B: Just a joke, Chris. Come on. Speaker A: No, no, I just, I just can't believe I just— the amount of outrage I'm seeing about this is crazy to me. It just seems so— it's, it's just, it's, it's mind-boggling. Meanwhile, if there was a New York Times cover story about Kanye West, I think people would not have the same response. I really don't. And he is arguably more problematic and worse for us historically, but he's given us a lot.

So it's a tough— Speaker B: I also think that if GQ was a magazine and only a magazine, if every magazine was only a magazine and you received this— Yeah, you subscribe to it in the mail on your doorstep and you open it up on a Sunday afternoon where you're having your croissant. And you're like, oh, I heard about this guy. My kid keeps talking about him, you know, let me check out so I can be informed. And you read the story and be like, damn, this guy sucks. That sucks.

Anyway, I'm going to go play golf now and off versus— Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. Speaker B: Only existing in the form of Instagram comment section, Twitter replies, you know, etc. TikTok shit. So it's no longer reporting. It's like, oh, it's so much more than that. And also so much less. Speaker A: Damn, bro, deep, deep as hell as always from them jeans. Well, all right, there's also— Barstool has got a new literary journal called Confluences. Um, so there's a lot, there's just a lot happening, man. There's a lot happening.

People are arguing about taste. Speaker B: That's a, that's a big word for Barstool. Speaker A: We've got, we've got all these, uh, uh, people also— people are seeming to misunderstand what a podcast is, um, which is funny. I, I just think that before we talk to our guest, I, I think we need to clear this up because it's, it's, this is, this is a, a podcast historically to me, Jason, is an audio only piece of content that goes on an RSS, RSS feed on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Now a video podcast exists and normally that goes on both the RSS feed and YouTube.

Speaker C: Mm-hmm. Speaker A: What we are doing with How Long Gone Today, our new show that launched yesterday with our partners at Talkhouse and Amplify Pictures, is neither— it is not a podcast or a video podcast. It is merely a show. And I just— I know this is where we're maybe getting into the weeds and this doesn't actually matter, but I think it's two very different things and you're offering two very different things. And I don't— you know, Vanity Fair recognizes that. That's why they're profiling Hot Ones and Kareem and Jake Shane, because those are, those are, those are shows, but they're also— it's confusing.

Yeah, it's confusing. And I just wanted to clear it up. Speaker B: Yeah, whatever quote-unquote late night TV means, you know, I don't think people are watching Las Culturistas on their phone at 1 AM. You're watching it at 10:45 in a clip while your kids are, you know, waiting to come out from school or whatever. So you're saying we might be at a confluence of— Speaker A: well, it's really what— it's really when Netflix announced all these new shows and they called them podcasts. And it's like, no, this is Pete Davidson sitting in his garage with MGK That's just a talk show.

That's David Letterman, like, on Netflix. It's not— there's no podcast element to this. Like, it doesn't— two people talking does not a podcast make, I guess, is my point. Speaker B: To me, yeah, it's just, uh— oh yeah, our guest is here. But yeah, it's the same purist. It's all semantics, you know. Back— Antifa used to mean that you are against fascism, and now it means you're against Republicans or whatever, you know. Woke used to mean this. All these words have been moved and morphed, and it is not a podcast, it is a show.

Speaker A: It's a show. Speaker B: Is it a TV show? Who knows? Speaker A: Check out YouTube, uh, How Long Gone Today. Uh, we're gonna come back when we come back. All right, our guest today, friend of the program, uh, Kazi David, popular guest for us. She's back. She's got a new book, uh, that comes out in March. It's called Delusions, and the COVID looks like a sheet cake, um, with, uh, with sprinkles on it. It seems to be because this is in the run-up to her 30th birthday. So I think that— I think that's some symbolism in the artwork.

So let's, uh, let's go over to Brentwood and, and give her a call. Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, you're fine, you know, drink more water. Speaker B: He knows how to charge my copay. Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: That's about it. Speaker A: As if I could drink more water, doctor. I, I don't get data. I don't get a game plan. I just get a pat on the ass and get out there and, and make it better.

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Jason, we're, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own, but the truth is no one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference.

Speaker B: I agree, Chris. And sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them, because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself. And that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp, choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over 6 million people globally are using it and, you know, have some breakthroughs, go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be.

Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha and just think and be like, damn, I really am him. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at com/howlong. That is com/howlong. Speaker C: I'm not in Brentwood. Speaker B: Oh, so you're traveling. Speaker C: For the hundredth time. Speaker B: Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bel Air, Bel Air, our bad. Speaker C: Let us get our little jokes off, okay? Speaker A: That's what we do here.

That's a harmless joke that hurts no one involved, you know, except our guest. Speaker C: It's like my— it should just be my nickname. Speaker B: What up, Brentwood? Like if you're on The OC. What up, Brentwood? Speaker C: Exactly. Speaker B: Oh shit, what are you doing here at Brentwood? Speaker A: It does that. Honestly, there's definitely a child running around in a very expensive stroller that is named Brentwood somewhere. Oh yeah, there's got to be. Speaker C: It's like my— it should just be my nickname. Speaker B: What up, Brentwood?

Like if you're on The OC. What up, Brentwood? Speaker C: Exactly. Speaker B: Oh shit, what are you doing here at Brentwood? Speaker A: It does that. Honestly, there's definitely a child running around in a very expensive stroller that is named Brentwood somewhere. Oh yeah, there's got to be. Speaker C: Are these headphones okay? Can you hear me in these? Speaker B: You sound great. Speaker A: These are an unrecognized brand though, if you want to talk about it. Speaker C: Oh, do I. Speaker B: Um, so let me guess, they're not $4 and you didn't get them at an airport.

Speaker C: These are— it's, it's worse actually. It's like these are like EMF-proof headphones, but it's only because I got so scared because I have to sleep in headphones every night because I need like— I need people talking like as close to my brain as possible. 'Cause even the space, like if I have it on the TV or something, the space from the audio from the TV to my ears. Fellas, you hear this? Speaker A: Fellas, you hear this? You ain't staying over. All right? You ain't staying over. Speaker B: Well, unless you're going to whisper into her ear the entire time she's asleep, then it's okay.

Speaker A: No, bro, it was worth it. Speaker B: I didn't get a wink this week. Speaker A: I talked all night. Speaker B: For our listeners at home, EMF, like the electromagnetic field radiation of like electrical devices. So these are headphones that are void of that. Speaker C: I don't even know if it's a conspiracy or not, but obviously I got scared every single night with headphones in the, in the ear. Felt like too much. Speaker C: I don't even know if it's a conspiracy or not, but obviously I got scared every single night with headphones in the, in the ear.

Felt like too much. Speaker B: When MIA sent them to you, did you have to do a post or what? Did you pay for it? How did it work? Speaker C: No, I, I like did research and I found them. Speaker A: I just got a pair of $2,100 headphones, uh, at the house yesterday. I'll let you guys know how they sound. Speaker B: What? Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker C: Are they Bluetooth? Speaker A: Actually, yeah, they're, they're banging a full set. They're like the, they're the nicest ones they make.

They come in like a leather bag. They look— they're the sexiest looking headphones. I have not tried the sound quality. I'm afraid I will not be able to tell the difference as usual. Are you— Speaker C: are you scared about the Bluetooth headphones at all? Speaker A: I'm not scared of anything. I'm ready to die. Speaker C: Good for you. Speaker A: Like, any time. I don't really care. I mean, I'm not going to walk into traffic or anything, but I'm not— I'm also— if my phone is in my pocket, that's fine.

Speaker C: Yeah. You know, from pocket. Speaker A: Yeah, I'm not. I'm not worried about what that's gonna— are you— how— because you're very scared of everything, right? Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: Yeah. How is that— how is that manifesting most recently beyond these headphones? Are there other— have you taken other measures recently that maybe would feel extreme to a civilian? Speaker B: Any new frights we should know about? Speaker C: There's always new frights. Um, I will say the morning routine has gotten slightly unbearable because mostly you see all this stuff online and it's like, do this first thing in the morning, right?

On an empty stomach. Speaker A: Of course. We gotta drink, we gotta drink, we gotta drink hot water. We gotta jump up and down 100 times. Speaker B: Do I spit? Do I swallow? Speaker A: Of course. We gotta drink, we gotta drink, we gotta drink hot water. We gotta jump up and down 100 times. Speaker B: Do I spit? Do I swallow? Speaker C: There's so many things you're supposed to do on an empty stomach. Which one is the thing? Speaker B: You know, lymphatic. Speaker C: Yeah. I've been doing that Chinese peptides.

Speaker B: Me too. Speaker C: I'm not on peptides. Speaker A: If you wake up, let's say, let's say you wake up at 8:00 AM. What time is your routine done and you can kind of kick your day off and hit com? Speaker C: At this point it's like lasting at least an hour if I'm getting up and doing it all. Speaker A: All right, so we gotta— Speaker C: but I am on my phone for— that's the problem is I wake up, I go directly on my phone for a really long amount of time and depending on how depressed I am that morning.

Speaker A: Okay, what— and you're looking at Instagram, the usual? There's no secret stuff you're looking at? Speaker C: No. Speaker A: Okay, you're doing the stuff, the same stuff we do, checking the markets? Speaker C: Yeah, I'm just looking at people doing the most mundane things. Speaker A: I know you get a lot of imaginable get ready with me's on that feed. I'm telling you that right now. Speaker B: I'm watching homeless guys get shot in a parking lot. Speaker C: Yeah, Brentwood's got a lot of get ready with me.

Speaker A: All right, so you're, you wake up, you're scrolling obviously, and then once you pry yourself out of those, uh, high thread count sheets, you have an hour ahead of you of routine to get into before you can kind of leave the house. Speaker C: I'm pretty bad at math, so I'm not sure if it's actually an hour, but it sure feels like one. Speaker B: It's less math, more time, but we'll We'll continue. Speaker A: Let's start at the top. Let's start at the top. Speaker C: Let's start at the top.

So I heard you're supposed to oil pull directly first thing. Okay. Speaker C: I'm pretty bad at math, so I'm not sure if it's actually an hour, but it sure feels like one. Speaker B: It's less math, more time, but we'll We'll continue. Speaker A: Let's start at the top. Let's start at the top. Speaker C: Let's start at the top. So I heard you're supposed to oil pull directly first thing. Okay. Speaker B: Old school. Speaker C: That's getting all the bacteria out. Speaker B: What kind of oil though?

Speaker C: Coconut. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: Okay. Speaker B: Real heads do sesame, but you know, I'm not gonna knock you in the head. Speaker C: I don't know if I can get into sesame. Speaker A: Oh, you said you like Chinese stuff, but whatever. Go ahead. Speaker C: Are you doing sesame? Speaker B: Seriously? No, it's sesame. Are you doing sesame? I've, I've tried it. It's a little too Panda Express in the morning for me. Speaker A: You know what I mean? Speaker B: As much as I love celestial flavors, it's Yeah, I go coconut if I'm going to keep it alive.

Speaker C: Yeah, I think that's too far. Speaker A: Coconut feels like a morning flavor. Yeah. Speaker C: So I'm doing the coconut, but then you're supposed to have also, as you've heard, the warm water with lemon first thing in the morning. But you're also supposed to take the olive oil shot first thing in the morning. Speaker B: So important. Speaker C: So like, what's the order of that? Speaker B: The olive oil shot? I think it's, it's more— it seems like that's like old people stuff. Like, I think you're too young to be doing that.

Obviously you can. It's a thing that fat people shouldn't do. And you're not fat, so you can do it. Speaker C: Metaphysically, I'm like 70 years old. Speaker B: But you're an old. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker B: You should be doing— And do you have a special brand of olive oil that you use? Speaker C: You turned me on to this olive oil. Speaker B: Oh, the Inez? Speaker C: Yeah. I'm hooked on Inez. Speaker B: You're gargling that shit. Speaker C: Yeah. Wow. Speaker B: So you got the caprese out.

You got the morning caprese, a little hit for you, a little hit for Mama, a little back over here. Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker B: You should be doing— And do you have a special brand of olive oil that you use? Speaker C: You turned me on to this olive oil. Speaker B: Oh, the Inez? Speaker C: Yeah. I'm hooked on Inez. Speaker B: You're gargling that shit. Speaker C: Yeah. Wow. Speaker B: So you got the caprese out. You got the morning caprese, a little hit for you, a little hit for Mama, a little back over here.

Speaker A: Can I ask a— Can I ask a question though? Is this— and I don't want to get into the weeds, Jason, as far as food goes, but is finishing or cooking for this purpose? You know what I mean? Like, that's the question. It's finishing. I know, but I'm saying like that feels— maybe a cooking oil would feel more utilitarian for the purpose of your use. Speaker B: Little Graza squeeze down the tube. Speaker A: Yeah, a little Graza. It's got the squeeze. Speaker B: Yeah, like a nice Magna Electrolyte bottle.

Squeeze that Graza right in there. Speaker C: How— wait, are you— do you like the Magna Electrolytes? Speaker B: Love the Magna. My favorite flavor is apple juice, but check out the new flavor. Speaker C: Yeah, apple juice is amazing. Speaker B: We've developed a new Halong An flavor that's coming out soon. Speaker C: No way. Speaker B: It's the flavor of blue Gatorade. Speaker C: Wow, that's sick. Speaker B: We used to be called Blue Ice, but we decided blue is a little cleaner. Speaker A: We just changed it for now.

Just kidding, because of what's all the stuff that happened, we decided to change it. I prefer the Arnold Palmer. Flavor. Speaker B: Flavor forever. Speaker A: It gives me that country club feeling. Speaker B: People really love the mint lemonade as well. Speaker C: I've only had the apple. Speaker B: I mean, apple is so good. Speaker C: I can't find it anywhere. You have to just get it online. Speaker B: We'll get it for you. Well, Cazzie, just like every other cool product in the world, you come on this podcast and then I DM a beautiful, nice young lady who sends it to your house in Brentwood.

Speaker B: Flavor forever. Speaker A: It gives me that country club feeling. Speaker B: People really love the mint lemonade as well. Speaker C: I've only had the apple. Speaker B: I mean, apple is so good. Speaker C: I can't find it anywhere. You have to just get it online. Speaker B: We'll get it for you. Well, Cazzie, just like every other cool product in the world, you come on this podcast and then I DM a beautiful, nice young lady who sends it to your house in Brentwood. Speaker C: Okay, that would be great.

Speaker A: There's a 25-year-old project manager sitting at her laptop itching to send you some Magna. Speaker C: Mm-hmm. Speaker A: There's no question there. Speaker C: That's the only thing I want to be sent is like this stuff. Speaker B: Okay, I'm sure. Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure the Mew Mew you send right back when that gets there. But the electrolytes I get. Speaker B: Are you talking about more like the, like the $1,800 trash can that you don't know where to put kind of thing? Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: All right.

Speaker A: So. All right. Speaker B: So it's Bluetooth. Speaker A: Sorry. We need to continue with your routine. We're all right. We're— we're moving past olive oil. Where are we going next? Speaker B: We're pulling, we're shooting, we're chugging, we're rinsing. Speaker C: Now we're dunking in ice. Speaker A: We're doing the face dunk Ashton Hall style. Speaker B: Whole body or face? Speaker C: Just face. Speaker B: How long can you go? Speaker C: 30 seconds. Speaker B: Okay. It's cute. Speaker A: Just like Jason. Is the, is the, is the, is the— I've seen, I've gotten some advertisements on my Instagram feed.

Speaker C: For the one with the hole. Speaker A: Yes. The bowl with the hole. So the face fits perfectly. What do you think about that? Speaker C: So tempting. It's pretty good. But I do think it's just going to add to more junk in my house and then I'm just going to have it. Speaker B: What exactly is a bowl with a hole? Because a bowl is a hole. Speaker A: No, but it's made to put your face in it. So there's no neck. Contact. Speaker B: Oh, so it's like when you're getting your hair washed at the salon, there's a little divot for your neck to rest on.

Speaker B: What exactly is a bowl with a hole? Because a bowl is a hole. Speaker A: No, but it's made to put your face in it. So there's no neck. Contact. Speaker B: Oh, so it's like when you're getting your hair washed at the salon, there's a little divot for your neck to rest on. Speaker C: You're kind of like snorkeling. Speaker B: Oh, that's nice. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: So are you able to breathe? Is there like a scuba system? Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. And apparently if you get that, you're going on way past 30 seconds.

Oh, yeah. Speaker B: I mean, most people can hold their breath longer than 30, just to let you know. Speaker C: Really? Speaker B: No shit. Yeah. Speaker C: That's too bad. Speaker A: Something to work on. Something to think about. Speaker B: Let's get that cardio up. Speaker A: All right. So we ice our face for 30. Speaker C: Okay. And now I'm drying the face in a red light on a vibration plate. Speaker B: Oh, wow. So it's worse than I thought. It's worse than I thought. Speaker A: This is really bad.

Speaker C: I honestly, I know. Speaker A: I'm into it. Jason and I are both pretty into shit like this, like more than most guys our age, let's say. Speaker B: I do a lot of this stuff. Speaker A: The vibration. Speaker C: Okay. The problem is that if I don't do it, I really feel like a failure the whole day. Speaker B: Well, you are. Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. If you don't get it done. So which red light mask do you use? How long do you wear it? Speaker C: By the way, I really didn't want to talk about this stuff on this episode because I remember the last time I came on, I was very insecure afterwards that we only talked about my health routine.

Speaker B: Well, it's a good thing you brought it up. Speaker A: But yeah, this is what people want from us and you, to be honest. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: When we had Audrey Hobart on yesterday, she was talking about creams, you know, and we brought that up. So people want to know about routines and creams. Speaker B: Well, it's a good thing you brought it up. Speaker A: But yeah, this is what people want from us and you, to be honest. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: When we had Audrey Hobart on yesterday, she was talking about creams, you know, and we brought that up.

So people want to know about routines and creams. Speaker A: They want to be like you. They're like, this— she writes books, she looks good. What can I do? Speaker B: They don't want to know about this fucking book. Speaker A: How much do you have to spend to be like her? Speaker C: By the way, the vibration plate is like $100. And that I got very influenced by online, which I regret to say. Speaker B: So that's like supposed to really like fast-track the lymphatic jiggle drainage. Speaker C: So I'm doing the lymphatic dances on the vibration plate.

Speaker B: The arms are swinging, we're flopping. Speaker A: Hold on, hold on. I'm sorry. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: I didn't know those were— I didn't know those were referred to as lymphatic dances. I know exactly what you mean, but I've never heard that. Speaker B: What would you call them? Moves? Speaker A: Yeah, I guess I'd never thought about what to call them. I've never spoken that out loud, but I understand what you mean now. Speaker B: What about a little inversion table? That's what my wife and I have been on lately.

Speaker C: Tell me more. Speaker B: It's where you strap in your ankles and then you flip upside down and hang upside down. Imagine if that also had red light and It was like a wet situation and cold also, cryo. Speaker C: I honestly need to live in like a warehouse with all this stuff. Like at this point. Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that's a goal of mine. Speaker C: I don't have— Speaker B: I want to have a garage with just all this horseshit, a Pilates reformer, all of it, and just go in there and just fucking cruise.

Speaker C: I honestly need to live in like a warehouse with all this stuff. Like at this point. Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that's a goal of mine. Speaker C: I don't have— Speaker B: I want to have a garage with just all this horseshit, a Pilates reformer, all of it, and just go in there and just fucking cruise. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: But what is the— what is the time? What is the suggested retail time of the— of the vibration plate? I'm doing that for like 6 minutes because they had, you know, they've always had those at Equinox and it's one of those things that's been there.

I've always seen it. No one started using it until a year ago. Now there's a line for it. Speaker C: Well, that's because everyone's so— it's again, lymphatic is a trend, right? And that's the thing we're all obsessed with. And so you find out that this actually does something for lymphatic drainage and you're like, okay, now we're all going to use it. Speaker A: How often do you get lymphatically drained? How often are you Drain Gang professionally? Speaker C: I'm not. I'm doing that maybe before a red carpet. Speaker A: Before an event?

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Okay. And depends, depends on the dress. Speaker A: Oh, so okay, if something's a little, maybe a little more snug. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: What are we showing here? I need to get drained. Speaker C: Sure. Speaker A: No, I mean, that, that, that's just practical. I mean, that's just practi— Speaker B: But when you guys get the lymphatic, I've never done it. Chris has, you have obviously. Do you really feel— because like, I, I guess after a good massage I will feel that I have to do like a king's piss?

Speaker C: Totally. Speaker B: Not to be crude, but like, the— Speaker C: this is real— this is getting a little gross, but did they do the thing on the stomach to you where they like push— they like use like a tool and they pull? Speaker C: Totally. Speaker B: Not to be crude, but like, the— Speaker C: this is real— this is getting a little gross, but did they do the thing on the stomach to you where they like push— they like use like a tool and they pull? Speaker B: My wife makes me do that for her.

Wow. Speaker A: You're talking about the ricari, like the— the— when they use the machine? Speaker C: It's— it's not even a machine. Sometimes they use their hands though. Speaker B: It's— it's kind of like you— you— yeah, I use my hand. Speaker A: Oh yeah, that's part— that's just part of the— Speaker B: yeah, that's just part of And then you got to hit the sides, come around on the sides. Speaker C: Yeah, that— Speaker A: I know you hit from the side. Speaker C: That feels so effective. Even if nothing's happening there, that feel— you can't help but feel like, oh, this did something.

You know? Speaker A: I feel— I will say that it— I sleep like a rock. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: After you get drained? Speaker A: After I get drained, I sleep like a rock. But unfortunately, my first drainage was sort of like a prank because it was my friend Ryland's wife and I had to put on the suit in front of her and we're friends. So it was sort of like him pranking me, but me getting this great service out of it. So I've kind of— Speaker B: bittersweet. So when you took the photo, you had to cover your nipples and it was a whole thing.

How many of the— Speaker A: Cassie, be honest, how many, how many times have you taken the hot girl picture in the suit? Speaker C: I'm sorry, I kind of like spaced out. What's the suit? Speaker B: They put on like the Tron bodysuit that looks like all tech and shit, you know. It's kind of like an Olympic luge suit. Speaker C: Oh, I haven't had to wear that. I'm, I'm just going underwear and a little towel. Speaker A: You put on this suit— for a while it was a big trend among women.

You would go when lymphatic was, I would say, not new to market but really gaining popularity, and you would take a selfie, sort of, you know, one of these, because sure, it's, it's clearly see-through. Speaker C: Oh, I haven't had to wear that. I'm, I'm just going underwear and a little towel. Speaker A: You put on this suit— for a while it was a big trend among women. You would go when lymphatic was, I would say, not new to market but really gaining popularity, and you would take a selfie, sort of, you know, one of these, because sure, it's, it's clearly see-through.

Speaker C: Yeah. And it's like, and it's not only you look hot, but it's like, and you take care of yourself. Speaker A: But it's so hard to get on. For a man of my stature that if somebody saw me trying to put that on, it would be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. Like, I'm falling apart. Speaker B: Brandy trying to try on a sweater, it just ain't gonna work. Speaker A: It's got a sort of— it's got a sort of boat neck too. It's just not right, you know?

It's not for me. Speaker C: But I'm gonna have to look that up. Speaker A: It's— Speaker C: it's not— that might be my next red carpet dress. Speaker B: There's, uh, Chris has a good— he's a— Chris is a mod on a subreddit forum with a bunch of pictures. You can check it out. We'll send you the link. Speaker C: Check it. Speaker B: Yeah, it's private, but you're cool. Speaker A: We'll let you in. We'll let you in. All right, so are we done with more. Speaker C: So then, you know, then you're doing the skincare, and then you have to go— you have to go work out.

Speaker A: Okay, so you do all this before you— I would— okay, I would think the skincare would come after you work out, post-shower, but you're saying you do all that before? Speaker C: I don't really sweat when I work out. Speaker A: Well, you ain't going that hard then, are you? Speaker C: If I do a heated class, like, I'm sweating, but I just like don't really sweat that easily. Speaker A: That's a great quality. Speaker C: Is it? I'd like to sweat. Speaker A: Yeah, I don't get— I don't want to get into the toxins that you're retaining, obviously, without losing that much sweat.

Speaker C: If I do a heated class, like, I'm sweating, but I just like don't really sweat that easily. Speaker A: That's a great quality. Speaker C: Is it? I'd like to sweat. Speaker A: Yeah, I don't get— I don't want to get into the toxins that you're retaining, obviously, without losing that much sweat. Speaker C: But, well, I do wake up every night in the middle of the night dripping of sweat. Speaker B: There is that. There is that. Speaker A: I only sweat. Speaker C: I only sweat in the middle of the night when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

Speaker B: And scared. Okay. Speaker C: Drenched. Speaker B: Okay. Good call out. Glad you shared that one. Speaker C: Yeah. So if the headphones weren't enough of a deterrent to sleep over, you know. Speaker B: So when you wake up in the middle of the night and you have to change your diaper, whatever you're listening to is still playing in your MIA headphones. I'm choking from the wire of my headphones wrapped around your neck like an umbilical cord, swimming in a pool of your— Speaker C: I have to change my entire outfit.

Speaker A: So you're listening, you're listening to a podcast in those headphones to sleep? Speaker C: No, no, no, Gilmore Girls blasting. Speaker B: I, I didn't know Fret made plastic sheets. That's cool. Speaker C: You should have seen Chris's face. Speaker B: Okay, so you're listening to Gilmore Girls episodes, not like a Gilmore Girls podcast or audiobook or something. You just like, you pull it up on Netflix, you And you listen to it like audio. Speaker C: And by the way, I have an extension for the headphones. This, this goes on.

I have, I have these— wait, because I need the computer far away from me, so I have like a 20-foot extension cord, um, for these headphones, and it goes across my room. Speaker B: Okay, for listeners at home, she would look like she was doing battle ropes at the gym, unveiling her anaconda Yeah, that's an anaconda. Speaker A: That felt— I felt the scarf coming out of the pocket of a magician. It just kept coming. Speaker B: Okay, so you have to keep the laptop in another far away wing of the house because it's across the room.

You're going to defeat the purpose of the headphones if you're just sleeping right now. Speaker A: Which Gilmore Girls character do you think gives you the most calm? Like which one? Obviously it's the overall conversation. Speaker C: I'll tell you who it's not. Speaker A: Dean. Speaker C: Who's so fucking annoying and whiny. Speaker B: Fuck Dean. Speaker C: I, I actually can't stand Dean. Speaker B: I've never, I've never seen the show, so I don't know about Dean. Speaker A: I saw, I saw Lauren Graham at a party recently, recently-ish, and I have to say I was pretty starstruck.

Speaker C: Yeah, I would be too. She's unbelievable. Speaker A: That show was so popular. I didn't really watch it, like I did a little bit, but I was more of a Dawson's guy. Not that I have to choose. Yeah, I, I do feel like that wholesome era of television has long passed us by, right? Speaker C: Well, it was super weird because when I first started watching it, I think I was, I was younger than Rory was, and now I'm still watching it, which is really pathetic because I still need to watch it to go to sleep even though I'm no longer 14.

Speaker A: Have you tried any other programs, or is this your comfort show? Speaker C: I rotate between 4 shows. Speaker A: All right, so Kill Tony, Gilmore Girls. What else? Speaker A: Have you tried any other programs, or is this your comfort show? Speaker C: I rotate between 4 shows. Speaker A: All right, so Kill Tony, Gilmore Girls. What else? Speaker C: It's anything, anything that has girl in the title I've rotated between. So it's New Girl. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker C: Gilmore Girls. Speaker A: Got it. Speaker C: What else has girl in the title?

Gossip Girl. Speaker A: Okay. Speaker C: But I've done Gilmore Girls now, and I'll do Sex and the City sometimes a little bit. Like a little bit. Speaker A: The original, the original girl show, really, if you will. Speaker C: Yeah. But sometimes it makes me a little nauseous. Speaker B: Why? Speaker A: Too much intercourse? Speaker B: They're too fab? Speaker A: Yeah, sorry, they were just slaying too hard. I couldn't sleep. Speaker C: Those Manolos, you know, sometimes Miranda's doing something that's kind of gross and it doesn't help going to bed.

Speaker A: Don't talk about him like that. That's her husband. Speaker B: Look, he's not everyone's flavor, but I think he's got a lot of nice qualities. I think his legs look good in a cargo. Speaker A: I think Steve's a good hooper too. I think he gets a little discredit. Speaker B: Low key. Speaker C: Yeah, he is a good hooper. Speaker B: All right, so Which is good, but it'll only take you so far. Speaker A: How, how long, how many episodes of GG do we have to get through before you're sawing logs?

Speaker B: Yeah. How, when, when do you put the self-timer on? Speaker C: I'm hoping it's like, you know, I'm listening to like half an episode and I can pass out. Speaker A: Okay. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: That's reasonable. Have you ever thought about sleeping pills? Speaker C: No, because I just don't want to get reliant on them. Mm-hmm. But I, you know, there was the time where I was doing the melatonin and then there was the whole thing, melatonin's bad for you. I don't know if I buy that.

Well, melatonin's fake. Speaker A: Okay. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: That's reasonable. Have you ever thought about sleeping pills? Speaker C: No, because I just don't want to get reliant on them. Mm-hmm. But I, you know, there was the time where I was doing the melatonin and then there was the whole thing, melatonin's bad for you. I don't know if I buy that. Well, melatonin's fake. Speaker A: I'm talking about prescription drugs, the only ones that work. Speaker C: Okay. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Speaker A: I understand. Speaker C: I'd rather just like sleep less.

Speaker B: You'd rather white-knuckle life and sleep every single day? Speaker C: Do you think falling asleep with a sleeping medication, the sleep you get from that is equal to— is it more beneficial than just sleeping a little bit less? Speaker A: Yes, no question. Speaker C: Okay, interesting. Speaker B: I think it depends on the medication. Speaker A: If I take a Lunesta, or as I refer to it in my household as a loony, Um, it— 8 hours, you wake up fucking loonies, babe. You wake up feeling like a fucking king.

Speaker C: Like, are you on that every night? Speaker A: Not every night, but I really just like— I cannot toss and turn. I can't. I cannot play that game. Like, what you're talking about, I can't. Speaker B: We do not toss and turn on this. Speaker A: I cannot deal with that. And I'm, I'm not allowed to take any other drugs or alcohol, so I, I feel like Getting 8 hours of sleep is unfortunately my drug. Speaker C: I will be like relaxed and then I'll get in bed and, and, and everything, like even just like a part of the sock, like just hitting the wrong place of the foot makes me so crazy.

Like the tossing and turning for me is— it's a really bad time. Speaker A: I think, I think you kind of like it. I think you've romanticized it. Speaker A: I think, I think you kind of like it. I think you've romanticized it. Speaker C: And then, and then I'm getting choked by the headphones. Speaker B: Okay, well, follow-up question. How does your sleep change when somebody else is in the bed with you? Could be romantically a friend. Or whatever, just when you're not alone. Speaker A: Don't do that, Jason, when your sister's sleeping over.

Let's keep this PG. Speaker B: It could be, it could be that, it could be whatever. Speaker A: But you know, chicks love to share the bed with their friends. One of the weirdest things about women. Speaker C: Uh, there's only two friends I can share a bed with, otherwise I'm just up the whole night. Speaker B: Okay, okay. Does a, does a bed companion make things better, worse, or neutral? Speaker C: First of all, if they're a light sleeper, it's hard because then I'm scared that anytime I move, I'm waking them up.

And if they're a deep sleeper, it's also hard because There's just something about having someone next to you who's so deep in sleep that makes— it's almost like the contrarian in me, like, I can't fall asleep. Speaker A: All right, bitch, I'll show you. Speaker C: Okay. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker A: Well, this is— it's funny you— it's funny you say that because this is the issue we deal with in my household, is that I fall asleep and that makes my wife mad. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: That I'm asleep.

And then she sort of— I'm not gonna say holds it against me into the next day, but I would say sometimes I'm feeling something that I, I'm not aware of. And I come to find out she's watched, you know, 4 episodes of Tell Me Lies, you know, and has been up all night while I'm over there sawing logs. Speaker C: You want to be the first person to fall asleep, and if you're not— Speaker A: you're— that's her whole thing. Yes, yes, yeah, that's the whole thing. That whoever— that's the winner is who falls asleep first.

Speaker C: You want to be the first person to fall asleep, and if you're not— Speaker A: you're— that's her whole thing. Yes, yes, yeah, that's the whole thing. That whoever— that's the winner is who falls asleep first. Speaker B: That's all. Speaker C: No, I'm sorry, I just— I do think you should be like petting her to sleep and staying up until she falls asleep. Speaker A: The fuck? Speaker B: Like a sick animal? Speaker A: I'm modern, bro. We're equals. What the fuck am I— I ain't got to do all that.

She has a job and stuff. Speaker C: That's just respect. Speaker B: That's just respect. That— look, yeah, I always let my partner sleep first before I finish. Speaker C: They need to sleep first and they need to wash their face and brush their teeth first. Speaker A: Well, you gotta let a chick wash her face and brush her teeth first. I agree. I'm fine. Speaker B: This is why we have two sinks, honey. Get your money up. Come on, guys. Speaker A: No, but you don't want to be— you don't want to be— you don't want to be— I don't want to be in the bathroom with anyone ever under any circumstance.

Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: I don't give a fuck. I don't care if I have 4 sinks. Speaker B: I don't want— what if they're like shampooing you? What if they're giving you a little rub? Speaker A: That's different. I mean, a little different. I just— I take a shower before bed, so I need Chris time. Speaker B: Say less. Speaker C: I'm a before-bed shower myself. Speaker A: Well, I know you're— I can tell you're a 2-a-day type like me. Speaker C: Yeah. And then you see online— have you guys seen these videos where it's like the AI, like, screaming at— like, as a product screaming at you?

Like, ah, yeah, yeah. No. Do you know what I'm talking about? Speaker A: No, I don't. Speaker B: What kind of product would scream? Speaker C: Well, I saw this one AI video that was, and I don't, I don't know, you guys, the internet from in the last 3 months, you guys, the world in the last 3 months, the algorithm, how fast it changes has completely shocked me because it used to take at least a few hours, you know, and now you can just watch one video and like, that's it.

I, I watched this one video of like jam being spread on something, like a material, an AI video of material that turns into jam. Speaker B: What kind of product would scream? Speaker C: Well, I saw this one AI video that was, and I don't, I don't know, you guys, the internet from in the last 3 months, you guys, the world in the last 3 months, the algorithm, how fast it changes has completely shocked me because it used to take at least a few hours, you know, and now you can just watch one video and like, that's it.

I, I watched this one video of like jam being spread on something, like a material, an AI video of material that turns into jam. Speaker A: Okay, got it. Speaker C: And my whole feed for days was just different materials being spread into jam. But anyways, I, I only say that because I saw this AI video that was saying like, you, you don't want to take 2 showers a day, you don't want to use hot water because it dries out your skin, blah blah blah. And it's like this cartoon that's yelling at you.

Speaker A: Yeah, I, I— Speaker C: and it makes you like scared of everything. Speaker A: I've heard all of those. I just think that I just think we— unfortunately, the amount of information we have access to allows us to both believe and disbelieve every single thing. So I think it's a little— I think you got to find out what works for you. And in your case, an hour of prep before you leave the house is what works, and I think that's fine. Speaker B: You know what works for me?

Delusion. Speaker C: I just know I'm gonna die in the most embarrassing way and everyone's gonna laugh at me. Speaker A: This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. Speaker C: I just know I'm gonna die in the most embarrassing way and everyone's gonna laugh at me.

Speaker A: This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. Speaker B: A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast 3 times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do?

Speaker A: 3 times a week. And I, I have a feeling, just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. Speaker B: The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Speaker A: Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, uh, stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch on YouTube.

It's 3 times a week. And, and who couldn't use more news, you know, especially especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it, give it a listen, give it a listen. Your summer starts now with Memorial Day deals at The Home Depot. It's time to fire up summer cookouts with the Nexgrill 4-burner gas grill on special buy for only $199. And entertain all season with the Hampton Bay West Grove 7-piece outdoor dining set for only $400. Speaker B: $199. Speaker A: This Memorial Day, get low prices guaranteed at The Home Depot while supplies last.

Pricing valid May 14th through May 27th. US only. Exclusions apply. See com/pricematch for details. Speaker B: $199. Speaker A: This Memorial Day, get low prices guaranteed at The Home Depot while supplies last. Pricing valid May 14th through May 27th. US only. Exclusions apply. See com/pricematch for details. Speaker C: Like, I'm scared I'm going to get like attacked by an animal on a hike or something and everyone's going to laugh. Speaker B: Look at that idiot getting eaten alive by a mountain lion. So stupid. Speaker A: This dumbass went on a hike in LA.

That's what you get. Speaker C: No one laughs at other people dying in like freak accidents, but I think they would laugh at me. I— no, I do. Speaker A: I laugh at that. Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Speaker A: I'll laugh at that because we always gotta make it about you, Kazzy. We always talk about how I want to die all the time because I, I want to go— I have a pretty clear idea. If it's not OD in a hotel room, obviously it's plane or helicopter crash. Speaker C: I agree.

I mean, there's only a few ways to really cement your legacy. Speaker B: Oh, Kazzy getting airlifted but then it starts spinning too fast. Remember that one? Speaker A: Oh yeah, yeah, that could really work for you. Speaker C: You can't cement a legacy with an embarrassing death. Speaker A: Imagine if I died in a hotel room in a suit after relapsing. That is hot. Speaker C: Yeah, that's cool. Speaker B: Like Tom Ford for Gucci with the T. Speaker A: That's the way to do it. Speaker C: It's undeniably— Speaker B: I don't like you fantasizing your suicide this much.

Like, it's okay to peek around a little bit, but don't get too invested. Speaker A: It would be accidental. It would be accidental. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker C: Did you watch— did you watch the Tell Me Lies finale? Speaker B: Uh, it was playing in my room, um, but I was only listening to it to fall asleep. Speaker A: I keep forgetting— I keep forgetting that guy is the mom. From Married with Children's son, which is a really cool— Speaker A: It would be accidental. It would be accidental. Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker C: Did you watch— did you watch the Tell Me Lies finale? Speaker B: Uh, it was playing in my room, um, but I was only listening to it to fall asleep. Speaker A: I keep forgetting— I keep forgetting that guy is the mom. From Married with Children's son, which is a really cool— Speaker B: why do you keep forgetting that, Chris? Speaker A: Because I just— I, I— because it comes up, it comes, you know, I'll read something about him, I'll read something about him, and I think they're hot and it's cool that they're a real couple.

That show is, is crazy. Speaker C: That is the best show I've seen in a really long time. Speaker B: Better than Industry? Speaker A: Speak to you like that? Speaker C: I need to watch Industry. I haven't watched it yet. Yeah, it really speaks to me. I just think it's the writing is really good because it, it brings up like the dramas we, we grew up watching, like the Gossip Girl. Speaker A: Yeah, it does a good job. I mean, the way that— it's really funny because this is something I remember from being that age, is like, at least in this show, the girl that's supposed to be like the hottest one is not, which is very high school to me.

She's like— they give her that haircut, I just can't— I just think that they do a good job of making it look very time appropriate too. Which is, is tough because it's not a glamorous era. Speaker C: No, they really did make it seem like that was a nostalgic time, even though it was so recently, because it's not— Speaker A: what was it, like 10 years? No, I guess longer. Speaker C: I think it's from— there's stuff from 2009, I think, in it, and like 2015. Like, it jumps around. Speaker A: Yeah, that's not that long ago.

Yeah, that's not that long, but it really looks like a— it's really not— Speaker A: what was it, like 10 years? No, I guess longer. Speaker C: I think it's from— there's stuff from 2009, I think, in it, and like 2015. Like, it jumps around. Speaker A: Yeah, that's not that long ago. Yeah, that's not that long, but it really looks like a— it's really not— Speaker C: point in time that you can remember. Speaker B: Am I gonna like the show? Speaker C: I just think it's actually good. Like, it's not bad.

Speaker A: I think it's good too. I think it's good too. Speaker B: Well, are we done talking about a Hulu show for teenage girls now, guys? Speaker A: Hey, man, that show is way more popular than I realized, honestly. Speaker B: So is The Summer I Turned Pretty and the one with the Indian girl. And there's all these super— Speaker C: No, it's not even close. Speaker B: Oh, really? Speaker C: Are you guys on— like, you guys watching any reality TV? You guys watching Traders at all? Speaker A: I don't watch Traders for some reason.

I'm trying to get into the new season of Love Is Blind, which is No, so far my favorite, because it's— it's— they picked Ohio, which feels like one of the most bland places on Earth to pull singles from, um, but it seems to be working so far. Speaker C: I think Love Is Blind was the turning point, like, was a really bad turning point for our culture. Like, that's when that just crossed the line of stupidity. Speaker A: Really? You think that's what crossed the line? Did you see Flavor of Love?

Maybe you're a little too young. We crossed that line a long time ago. You remember when Bret Michaels was biker chicks over to his house. Speaker B: Yeah. I mean the, this is, there was like the dating show where they'd be like the 3 eligible bachelors just behind like a plywood wall on a stage and they would, you know, pick the person based on conversation and not looks. Right. Speaker B: Yeah. I mean the, this is, there was like the dating show where they'd be like the 3 eligible bachelors just behind like a plywood wall on a stage and they would, you know, pick the person based on conversation and not looks.

Right. Speaker A: Same thing. What was the MTV one that, that was really popular? Speaker C: Next. Next was fun. When you tell an ugly to get off the bus, but they're not getting married. It's just like, let's go on a date. Like, who should I go on a date with? Speaker B: They're only going go-kart riding for an afternoon. Speaker A: We gotta push, we gotta push the stakes. We're, you know, you gotta, you It's got to be worth something or no one cares. But I think that— I think Love Is Blind is horrible, but I also think it's the best.

Speaker C: You watch Love Island? Speaker A: No. Speaker C: That's a huge mistake. Speaker A: Isn't it every day? Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: That's great. That's so— that somehow is too far. Speaker C: There's nothing else to live for besides getting a new episode. Speaker A: How long is it? How long is it on every day? Like, how long is the, the run? Like 2 weeks? A month? Like, how long is it on every single day? Speaker C: So a season is like— I'm trying to think about how long I've been watching this one season for that's on right now.

Speaker A: It's, it's never ending. That's the whole thing. Speaker C: Thank God it's never ending. Speaker B: It's always on television. Speaker A: It's always on. Speaker B: If somebody dies, do they just replace them? They don't even say anything. Speaker C: I'm not even kidding. I will be so depressed, and then a new— I'll find out a new season has come on, and it'll completely give me life. Okay, for the next month. Speaker A: Are they hot, or like, they— are they just like more reality show contestants with like muscles and plastic surgery?

Speaker C: There's always two that are hot. Speaker B: Okay, are you saying they find each other hot to you, or hot Hot to everyone. Speaker A: Are they hot, or like, they— are they just like more reality show contestants with like muscles and plastic surgery? Speaker C: There's always two that are hot. Speaker B: Okay, are you saying they find each other hot to you, or hot Hot to everyone. Speaker C: Sometimes they find each other, sometimes they're with other people. Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Speaker C: Hot to everyone.

Speaker A: Have you seen any of these Love Is Blind contestants out in the wild in the Los— greater Los Angeles area? Speaker C: I have not seen them. I'm— I have not seen anyone, but they're all the US version, so they're from all over the US. Okay. So there's people from Texas. Speaker A: Okay. Speaker B: Whatever. Like Cat's Eye. Speaker C: And then UK, it's like they're all in England. Speaker A: Sure. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: UK, they're all in England. In America, you got to go to South Park.

Speaker B: So the UK one is in England. Okay, I'm learning. I'm learning. Speaker C: But there's also an Australian one. And by the way, now that's, that's 3 seasons a year. Okay. Australia, US, UK, and 3 very different times. So I'm watching 3 seasons a year and then you have games. Okay. So that's 4. And then you have All-Stars, which is 5. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker C: So I'm watching 5 seasons. Speaker A: So there's basically no break really when you get down to it. Speaker C: Sometimes you get a few weeks of a break and, but you don't want the break.

Speaker A: The break makes you want it more. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker A: Really? Speaker B: So the break is like you go, you guys go to the Maldives for 3 weeks and just kind of dry out. Speaker C: Well, Sometimes it feels like how it does when you're like on your phone for too long, where you're, you're like, and you like need to throw the phone and like escape. That's what it feels like when you're kind of on episode 23. Speaker B: It's like toxic. Speaker C: Oh yeah, I should mention there's 50, um, episodes a season.

Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. That's what I was always told. Okay, how drunk are they? Very, right? Speaker B: It's like toxic. Speaker C: Oh yeah, I should mention there's 50, um, episodes a season. Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. That's what I was always told. Okay, how drunk are they? Very, right? Speaker C: They're only allowed like one drink a night. Speaker A: You're saying they act like that? Yeah, naturally. Speaker C: But think about it, it's a, it's an entire— it's such it's such a psychology experiment. Like, that's why it's so fun to watch, because they're all stuck on this island, right?

Speaker B: But they're not looking for love, are they? Speaker C: Well, I think it's like the same thing when you're like at camp or like on a set. Like, you get really close to these people and you really develop like, yeah, real feelings. Speaker A: How many boyfriends from your camp era do you still talk to as an adult? Speaker C: I only went to camp for 2 weeks and I never went back. Speaker A: Wow, smart. I'm proud of you for that. Speaker C: Thank you. Speaker A: I never went to camp.

That wasn't part of my culture. Speaker C: First of all, at our camp, you like— it was the cool thing to shower in the lake. So like all the girls would go to the lake naked and like have to shampoo in the lake and use like— Speaker A: Jason's way sounds sick. Speaker C: Everyone was like watching. Speaker B: When you're saying how this is like what happens before a porn starts, that's what happens before this is children. Okay, got it, got it. Okay, I didn't know. Speaker C: We're 12.

Speaker A: Okay, he didn't know, he didn't know, he's not Jewish, he didn't know, he didn't know. Speaker C: No, really, really hated it. Made me want to not bathe because you were like a loser if you took a shower, right? Speaker B: Right, right, right. Speaker A: Okay, so if you didn't— if you didn't go down with your Pantene to the fucking lake and took a regular shower, so this is similar to like a frat hazing ritual. Yeah, this does seem like a hazing ritual for sure. I don't know, where were the counselors while you— while you little hussies were out there fake showering?

Speaker C: No, really, really hated it. Made me want to not bathe because you were like a loser if you took a shower, right? Speaker B: Right, right, right. Speaker A: Okay, so if you didn't— if you didn't go down with your Pantene to the fucking lake and took a regular shower, so this is similar to like a frat hazing ritual. Yeah, this does seem like a hazing ritual for sure. I don't know, where were the counselors while you— while you little hussies were out there fake showering? Speaker C: I— in my— in my memory, everyone was— the counselors were showering there too, in the lake.

Speaker B: Oh hell no. Speaker A: See, that's the— that's the problem. I'm waiting for this documentary to come out. No sir. Speaker B: What island were you on, you know? Speaker C: Yeah, what— Speaker A: yeah, exactly. Speaker B: Was Prince Andrew there? Speaker C: This was like a— this was a camp in Canada. Speaker A: I knew it, they're looser up there. Yeah, they're kind of loose with it as far as, as far as stuff like that goes. Speaker C: I made no friends. Everyone hated me. This is kind of like the story of my life.

Speaker A: Did you go there— did you, did you go there with any friends? Like, did you go in there completely solo, or did you know a few people? Speaker C: So I went with my sister, but she was in a different, you know, age cabin. Speaker A: Oh, I see. Because you guys are, you guys are pretty close in age though. Speaker C: We're 2 years apart. Speaker B: Yeah. Speaker A: Damn, they broke you up 2 years. That's twin. They can't do that. That's crazy. Speaker B: Nobody said camp was easy, Chris.

These are skills that we have to learn to grow. Speaker A: Wow, I thought you guys could share bunk beds if it's 2 years apart. That's not that crazy. Speaker C: No, every year was separated. Speaker A: Oh, okay, okay. I see, like school. Speaker C: She thrived. She went back the next year. Speaker B: That bitch. Speaker C: Yeah, I never went back. Speaker A: Wow, I thought you guys could share bunk beds if it's 2 years apart. That's not that crazy. Speaker C: No, every year was separated. Speaker A: Oh, okay, okay.

I see, like school. Speaker C: She thrived. She went back the next year. Speaker B: That bitch. Speaker C: Yeah, I never went back. Speaker B: Yeah, just stuck with your books that summer. Speaker C: Sometimes I'll get a DM from someone that's like, we went to camp together. And I'm like, I can't imagine that you were very nice to me. Speaker A: Yeah, they want— they look, they see a book coming out and they're, they're trying to get some clout, you know what I mean? They said this, this— she's got a book.

Speaker C: I wish people were using me for clout, Chris. Speaker A: No one's using you for clout. I guess an author is not the number one clout usage in 2026. Speaker B: Um, I, I pull— I've read a few chapters of the book in the sauna getting my red light on. I haven't had a chance to finish Few, few quotes I wanted to just pull out and chat with you about. One of them, who knows where I'd be if I discovered mouth tape 10 years ago. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: Which is something I've sort of thought about as well.

Are you, are you heavy on the taping and how has it changed your life if so? Speaker C: So trying to tape every night, obviously. Mm-hmm. Sometimes obviously when I wake up in the middle of the night with the cold sweats, screaming from a nightmare. The mouth tape can be a little frightening. Speaker B: I'm imagining the snot flying out of the nose. Speaker A: It's really a quote of nowhere for it to go. Speaker B: Nowhere for it to go. Speaker C: It's more about how, like, everything I learn makes me just like more upset for my past that I didn't know it.

I don't get happy to have learned something new. I just get more upset. Speaker B: I'm imagining the snot flying out of the nose. Speaker A: It's really a quote of nowhere for it to go. Speaker B: Nowhere for it to go. Speaker C: It's more about how, like, everything I learn makes me just like more upset for my past that I didn't know it. I don't get happy to have learned something new. I just get more upset. Speaker B: So that's the very Therapy 101. As soon as you have a breakthrough, the next thing you think about is all the years.

I wish that I I wish I had this breakthrough 10 years ago or 2 girlfriends ago or whatever it may be. Speaker C: Yeah. Speaker B: So that's where you go to by default and you're able to fill a whole book with that shit, huh? Speaker C: It seems like. Speaker A: Yeah, this book is a little thick, I got to say. Speaker C: You think it's too thick? Speaker A: I'm not saying it's too thick, but 300 pages. 300 pages is insane. Speaker C: 300 pages is one page more than to be able to be taken seriously as a book.

Speaker A: I'm novella. Speaker C: One page less. That's not a book. It's not serious. Speaker B: 300 puts you in a different book bracket. I agree, which can be good and bad. Speaker A: I got to, I got to say though, look at the notes in the back. This is art. I have to say the first one reference is, is I wouldn't take anything back. Suki Waterhouse on her wild ride from London it girl to LA mom and finding pure love with Robert Pattinson from Vogue. We've got Nora Ephron, but we've also got Jennifer Lawrence.

I love these questions. When Kylie Jenner, there's really a lot of great Great references. Speaker C: We pulled some stuff. Speaker B: You got a Graydon Carter quote, we got a Diablo Cody. Yeah, can't win them all. Um, Jesus Christ, you, you, you needn't comment. Speaker C: We pulled some stuff. Speaker B: You got a Graydon Carter quote, we got a Diablo Cody. Yeah, can't win them all. Um, Jesus Christ, you, you, you needn't comment. Speaker A: I like the reference. I like putting that. I think doing stuff like that in the back— I know you have to do it legally too, but I think it's pretty fun to look through.

Speaker C: By the way, that's the most of the book you're gonna read, and I know that, and that's okay. Speaker A: No, no, I'm going to read this. Speaker B: I'm absolutely gonna read this book. Speaker A: It I got— it came like it got returned for some reason to the publisher and they were like, whatever. So it didn't, it didn't come until recently. I'm just in the middle of another book right now. I'm gonna take this with me this weekend to Charleston and absolutely read it. Speaker C: Um, it is 300 pages of someone complaining.

Speaker A: I mean, I'm about to do the same thing, so I just don't— I don't, um, I complain 3 times a week. I don't, uh, I don't read all the authors that come on the podcast because some of them don't. Yeah, but when they do, I feel personally invested in your success. Speaker C: Yes, thank you. That means a lot to me. Speaker A: Not that I did any contributing to it, but I just— Speaker B: and we, we read the— we read something else that you did when you were on the first time, right?

Speaker A: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. Speaker C: What was I on for the first— oh, I think for my movie, right? Speaker B: Probably. Speaker A: I can't keep track of all your projects. Your slate is so full. Speaker C: You know what, it's so— it's so embarrassing to have a project that I have to come out of the woodwork and ask people, like, for a favor. Is so humiliating. Speaker A: I know. Speaker C: I saw a text between me and someone the other day. I was inviting them to this, like, book party I'm having, and I saw that the last text I sent them was inviting them to a screening.

And it's like, like, what? Everybody probably hates me so much. Like, I don't know, I don't ever really feel like anyone is inviting me to stuff constantly. Speaker C: You know what, it's so— it's so embarrassing to have a project that I have to come out of the woodwork and ask people, like, for a favor. Is so humiliating. Speaker A: I know. Speaker C: I saw a text between me and someone the other day. I was inviting them to this, like, book party I'm having, and I saw that the last text I sent them was inviting them to a screening.

And it's like, like, what? Everybody probably hates me so much. Like, I don't know, I don't ever really feel like anyone is inviting me to stuff constantly. Speaker A: That's not true. I see you at stuff. Speaker C: But I guess it doesn't— I'm not— it's not framed in my mind as like an annoying thing that's like a favor. Speaker A: But this is, this is what— this is actually— I learned this lesson from like restaurant people. They're like, it's not annoying, it's our job. Like, when you want— if we, we are friends, if you want a table at my restaurant and you text me, it is not annoying because we are friends and my job is to make sure that my friends eat at this restaurant.

Speaker C: So I have a, I have a screening. You think that's the same thing? Speaker A: I honestly, if you are in— Speaker B: if you work in that stuff, but if you— Speaker A: I don't want to watch anything, but if they're in that business and you invite me to something, I would want to go to support you It's not, I don't think that's annoying. Speaker B: But I have friends who will be like, hey, do you want to go to this thing? And it's like stupid. And you got to be like, versus like you're coming to the table with no partiful links and all this shit.

You want to come to this movie screening, book release, spelling bee, you know, cool guest list only event with open bar and a gift bag. Like at least you're, you're coming to the table with something of value versus like, hey, do you want to go to Treeston, smoke cigs and chat about my life? Speaker A: I don't think it's really like that. That. I understand because everything we do is also embarrassing and I feel pathetic every day when I look in the mirror. But we have chosen— unfortunately, we have chosen this career path.

And if we went and had jobs, we wouldn't have to do this, but then we might not like our lives as much. So I think you got to look at it that way. Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. Speaker B: And if you're afraid that you have to ask other people to do you a favor, to platform you for your project that you don't like that you have to do, the more famous you get, the more you'll be doing them a favor by appearing on, you know, their podcast interview, whatever it is.

Speaker A: So to be clear, to be clear, we're doing you a favor right now. Speaker C: I just want to be very clear. Yeah, I know. Speaker A: I just want to be upfront about that. Speaker B: Okay. Speaker C: I'm certainly not doing you guys any favors. Speaker B: We're bullish on David, but you know, we'll probably be your most hated episode. Speaker A: No, no way. Speaker B: No, no, no. This will be the second, second most hated. The first time you came on still is number one.

Speaker A: Let's look at the rankings. Speaker B: Don't look at the Reddit, Kazzy. Don't look at the Reddit, you guys. Speaker C: My— I talked to the Kareem, the Subway Takes guy, of course, and he was like, you, you probably are top 3 most hated, uh, takes. Speaker A: Subway Takes with Kareem, I think that's a badge of honor. I think that means you did the best job. Speaker C: Well, it's crazy because some people go on there that are and are like, love is, love is the most important thing.

It's like, hey, that's not a take. Speaker A: I got killed for mine, but I thought it was really innocuous. But maybe that makes people even more mad. Speaker C: What was yours? Speaker C: Well, it's crazy because some people go on there that are and are like, love is, love is the most important thing. It's like, hey, that's not a take. Speaker A: I got killed for mine, but I thought it was really innocuous. But maybe that makes people even more mad. Speaker C: What was yours? Speaker A: Well, mine was— bath mats are disgusting.

I think they're gross. There's no reason to have one. People got very upset. Speaker B: I think that's like, don't you know, it's at least something to dry? Speaker A: And I'm like, dude, yeah, I know how they work. I just think they're gross. Like, I don't— Speaker C: the definition of a take is something that is going to be different It's not everyone's supposed to agree with it. Speaker B: Well, there's— if you want to do a hot take, there's a hot take, there's a cold take, and there's a Subway take.

Who knows what that means? Speaker A: What was your— what was your— what was your— Speaker C: so mine was like that. I think naps are insane and disgusting. Speaker A: Oh, that's— Speaker B: that's perfect. Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's exactly— that's what I mean. Speaker B: That's exactly what the one that I saw yesterday was. Races shouldn't mix. Speaker C: When I say like, this is the most hate I've ever gotten for talking about naps. Speaker B: Naps. Speaker C: Yeah, people still comment and are like, go to hell, like you should be— Speaker B: yeah, Nap Army woke up and came for your ass.

Speaker A: Once you do, once you do, once, once they— you are tagged in your Subway tag, you will get an update about someone hating you for the rest of your life. Speaker B: Yeah, no joke. Speaker A: Every day there's an alert being like, you don't know how bathmat works, you fucking idiot, why don't you have any hair? It's like, dude, whoa, hey, hey. I forgot I even did this. Speaker B: Yeah, no joke. Speaker A: Every day there's an alert being like, you don't know how bathmat works, you fucking idiot, why don't you have any hair?

It's like, dude, whoa, hey, hey. I forgot I even did this. Speaker C: No, I was very careful to also— I had to think of a take that wasn't privileged because that's the first thing anyone's gonna say about me. They're just gonna be like, you're a privileged bitch, shut the fuck up, right? So when I— I was trying to think of something also innocuous, and I was like, okay, this is foolproof for privilege because no, you can't— if you're privileged, you can take naps during the day. Speaker A: I would agree with you.

Speaker C: You have the privilege privilege to sleep during the day. Speaker B: When you're in Delta One, they should put the suitcase up there for you. I shouldn't have to do it myself. Something like that you want to avoid. Speaker C: And the way people surprised me that they could find a way to make this privilege— Speaker A: they could find it. Speaker C: They were basically like, you've never been tired enough to take a nap because you're so privileged. Speaker A: You've never been tired enough to take a nap is fire.

That's really, really good. But that, that honestly, it really is, uh, it is— I guess I forget, and that is the— to me, Subway Takes is the greatest reminder of this, as a— when you— as a participant, is how wide this internet is, you know? Like, these are not people who like you. They don't know who you are. They don't give a fuck about what you've done. They just hate what you said and want to tell you they hated it. Speaker B: Yeah, it's not your fault. It's the algorithm's fault.

Speaker A: I think it's beautiful. Speaker C: Well, I'll tell you the worst part. Was just that I wasn't really aware of the subway lighting when I was going on. Speaker B: Yeah, it's not your fault. It's the algorithm's fault. Speaker A: I think it's beautiful. Speaker C: Well, I'll tell you the worst part. Was just that I wasn't really aware of the subway lighting when I was going on. Speaker B: Go on. Speaker C: Um, and the bags under my eyes. Speaker A: I feel like you've taken a train before.

Speaker C: Help the take. Speaker A: Oh, they were like, bitch, you need a nap. Speaker C: Yeah, stuff like that. People actually at some point started commenting just the bag emoji. Speaker B: If you napped more, maybe you wouldn't be so ugly. Speaker C: There was almost like a writer's room competition for like how— like there were people like being like, you, your eye bags are the size of airport luggage. And then someone else would come in being like, they look like— Speaker B: so someone's like, I need 50 takes on this one by lunch, all right?

And they're like going through all the tags. Speaker C: That's what it felt like. Speaker A: I mean, correct. I think it's— I, I did not— I really was not prepared. I didn't know how— I mean, I knew how popular— we're pretty close with Kareem, like I'm familiar with how popular he is in his business. I was not prepared for the no one could ever win. Yeah, of it all. Like, there's no one that is going to say something that people aren't going to be like, you're a fucking idiot. There's no way.

Speaker B: That's the fun. Speaker C: I don't know, after I, I really made the mistake of never going through the comments before I went on it and like, and not really understanding it. And I did, I did apologize on his Instagram, by the way, because I just wanted Stop. I'd like— I'd like— Speaker B: never apologize. Speaker B: never apologize. Speaker C: I had to apologize to the napping community. Um, they were— they were really upset. Speaker A: There's a— well, that is the other thing it teaches you, is there's— Speaker B: when they wake up, they're gonna be pissed.

Speaker A: There's a community for everything, and that's the problem. There's a community for everything. Speaker C: Also, like, every time I've taken a nap, I wake up like— I feel like, you know, worse. Oh my God, like, what year is it? Like, I'm gonna— I feel like I'm gonna die. Speaker B: Is it day? Is it night? You're privileged enough to have blackout curtains, so, you know, this can be tough. But, you know, I I feel the same way. I used to nap. It was a sign of depression. Now I never nap.

Speaker A: No, I'll nap. Speaker B: You know what I do? I sleep when it's sleep time. Speaker C: Yeah, but people are like, what's wrong with you? There's obviously something wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with you. You're like, I don't know. Speaker B: I don't work in a coal mine like you, bitch. Yeah, I don't nap. Speaker A: I take naps occasionally. It depends on the workout. Sometimes if the workout in the morning is too hard, I will crash like at 1 or 2 o'clock. Speaker C: How can you have time to work out in the morning and take a nap?

Speaker A: The nap would be later. Speaker B: Chris will show you. Speaker A: It's like a 15-minute between calls. Speaker C: I'm gonna lay down, I'm gonna, you know, you can go unconscious for 15 minutes in the day. Speaker A: No, it's— I wouldn't call it— but that's the thing, I wouldn't call it a nap. I would call it more of a lie down. Like, I'm not getting to a point of REM sleep. Like, there's no— you don't feel refreshed. Speaker C: The take wasn't you shouldn't lie down. Speaker A: I, I'm— I know you can't— Speaker C: you shouldn't lie down and close your eyes.

Speaker A: Well, I think we're getting into sort of the nuts and bolts here that might be a little confusing when it's just simply a take, quote unquote. Speaker B: Let me be clear, I lie down, okay? I just want to say first and foremost I lie down all day, every day. Speaker A: I, I'm— I know you can't— Speaker C: you shouldn't lie down and close your eyes. Speaker A: Well, I think we're getting into sort of the nuts and bolts here that might be a little confusing when it's just simply a take, quote unquote.

Speaker B: Let me be clear, I lie down, okay? I just want to say first and foremost I lie down all day, every day. Speaker A: It's a privilege. My body doesn't even hurt when I do it. Speaker C: It was brutal, you guys. Speaker B: Did you gain a lot of followers though, Gus? Speaker C: No, I can't imagine. Speaker B: I famously have never done it or been asked. My takes are probably going to be too hot. Speaker C: And nor should you, by the way. I had way hotter takes.

Speaker A: Same. Speaker C: And one I could have really been canceled for. Speaker A: Go ahead. Speaker B: Okay, drop it now, Queen. Speaker C: I don't think I should do that. It's really bad. Speaker A: I think it's probably fine. Speaker C: I'm gonna tell you, but you have to promise you can cut it. Speaker A: Yeah, of course, we cut everything. Speaker C: Okay, um, it was, uh, so, so illegal, against the law. But the punishment— yeah, famously, punishment is actually on this, in the same circumstance. All right, by the way, my publicist just texted me being like, I'm gonna kill myself.

Speaker A: Don't worry, we'll take it out. Speaker C: This is on this— you have to take stuff on the same— in the same circumstance by people who volunteer for the government to be— Speaker A: oh, I see, I see, I see. Speaker B: Okay, okay, so it's not like a jury where they've been selected at random as their civic duty to— these are people who volunteer. And also, I'm— you're able to get it out of your system without breaking the law. It's a government-sanctioned— Speaker A: oh, I see, I see, I see.

Speaker B: Okay, okay, so it's not like a jury where they've been selected at random as their civic duty to— these are people who volunteer. And also, I'm— you're able to get it out of your system without breaking the law. It's a government-sanctioned— Speaker A: Cassie, with the utmost love and respect, thank God that you did not share this. Thank God. I'm glad that you lived to see another day. I'm glad that Delusions: Essays is going to be in stores everywhere in just a few days. Thank God that you're here with us today on How Long Gone.

Um, and I— we, we appreciate your time, and, um, we'll make sure to go kind of behind the scenes and, and ask Kareem to make sure you never, uh, do subway takes again. Speaker C: Yeah, thank you. Speaker B: They should do subway takes after dark where you can really let that kind of Yeah, let that bad stuff spray a little bit. Maybe we'll steal that idea from him. Speaker A: Yeah, that's fine. He would be happy to license that. Speaker C: Well, you guys know there's a podcast for every show now.

Like, literally every show there's a podcast for that comes on after the show. Speaker A: Yeah, we know. Speaker C: You guys could have the official Subway Takes podcast. Speaker A: That's really funny. Come say the really fucked up stuff to us. Kareem's like at home with his child, like, yeah, you guys do whatever you want, we don't give a fuck. Speaker B: He's at home watching Bluey. Give me the racist stuff. Let's get into it. Speaker A: Give me the hate All right, Kazzy, thank you for joining us. Speaker B: Okay, we will cut that even though it was quite funny.

You can do that. Speaker C: Thank you, guys. Speaker B: Maybe doing some standup or something like that. But yeah, your book, Delusions, a collection of essays is out. Speaker A: March 3rd. Speaker B: Now. Speaker A: March 3rd, 2026. I'm sure you can preorder it wherever you preorder books. And hopefully we see you soon. It was a pleasure as always. Speaker A: Give me the hate All right, Kazzy, thank you for joining us. Speaker B: Okay, we will cut that even though it was quite funny. You can do that.

Speaker C: Thank you, guys. Speaker B: Maybe doing some standup or something like that. But yeah, your book, Delusions, a collection of essays is out. Speaker A: March 3rd. Speaker B: Now. Speaker A: March 3rd, 2026. I'm sure you can preorder it wherever you preorder books. And hopefully we see you soon. It was a pleasure as always. Speaker C: Thank you, guys. Speaker A: Good to see you. Speaker C: Wait, don't leave yet. We just have to go over one thing. Thing. Okay. I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star to pray on or wish on or something like that.

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